I feel like I let life pass me by

Senior year wrote:

Yes he did ask. I was injured during xc because of my weight gain. He didn’t know the reason behind it. All he knew was that I had an injury. It’s a smaller school and my junior year times would put me in the top 7 so he wasn’t too concerned luckily.

What are your running goals for your last season of HS? This is way more important than a specific weight to achieve. Where did that weight goal come from? It's impossible to say what your best weight is to achieve your fastest times. Google about Allie Kieffer.

The best way to end your HS career may not be by running your fastest times but by figuring out how to get where you want to go in the future.

Senior year wrote:

I went from being anorexia to binge eating and now I’m too heavy to run fast. I can’t stop binging.

I’m very shameful of my weight gain. I’m 5’6 and 150 pounds. I have 6 weeks until I have to race. I’m hoping to be about 125 by then.

I feel like my Track season is screwed because it’s going to be hard to train in a caloric deficit.

My senior year I was 6'1 and 153lbs and I was under the impression that I needed to be 145. There was even a runner form a rival highschool who was obese in middle school/ 9th grade and I actually never beat him once in highschool once we both started taking runnning seriously. Lining up to other guys made me a feel a bit bigger but since I have been in college I have realized that some runners just have different bodies and that some guys have more muscle than others. Just put in the training and that will help your times.

Yes at age 17 your path in life is definitely determined beyond all possible intervention. I’m almost twice your age now, but my life had “passed me by” a few days after I was conceived, when my mother’s respiratory rate rose from her usual 10-12 to a short-lived spike of 14. After that moment I was never the same.

In all seriousness please take stock of the good things in your life, whether it is family, friends, or overall health (no type 1 diabetes, good vision, presence of limbs, etc).

You are very young and the worst thing you can do now is to put excess pressure on yourself to lose weight extremely quickly. You will almost certainly lose way too much muscle and not be much better at running.

With a good diet (don’t skimp on protein, as most runners claim to) full of required vitamins and minerals and smart training you can lose the weight slowly and optimally and probably come out a better runner than ever before.

The one thing that almost certainly will doom you is constantly thinking you’re doomed. Best of luck! I am sure you will do great.

Thanks so much for the kind responses everyone. I’m going to change and fix it all starting today.

I think I’m going to try to ask my coach about all this. What should I say?

Senior year wrote:

I think I’m going to try to ask my coach about all this. What should I say?

Try focusing on under and over distance events senior season if coach will allow.

It'll help your main event and won't reveal your main event current times. Do 4 x 4s or 4 x 8s @ meets if you can. If your a distance guy be sure to maintain a long run @ 20% weekly milage and don't stop because t&f practice---do it on Sunday.

Have fun and stop fretting too much.

If you already signed you have nothing to worry about.

Forget this upcoming track season.

Focus on getting your eating sorted out like someone who takes running seriously. You cannot string together consistency with an eating disorder.

Focus on becoming a stronger running, focus on the things you know you need to work on. Stop thinking next 6 months.... Start thinking about the next 18 -24. That is how you make improvements.

Go see a therapist if needed.

Work on those things and you'll do fine in college next year.

Find something outside of running you can throw yourself into, something that involves your mind. Start working on a back up plan for when running ends.

Many runners learn that you if you can apply the level of dedication and motivation to other things like they do with running. They become quite good at them and will probably pay way more $$ in the future.

1) life did not pass you by yet!

2) keep training

3) maintain a healthy calorie intake (consult with a nutritionist if needed)

4) reduce refined sugar intake including soda, juice, and sports drink / replace with water

5) don't fixate on your weight as a measure of success.

If your training is good your times will be respectable whether you are 150lbs / 140lbs / 130lbs etc.

High school life was irrelevant for me. I didn't accomplish much of anything aside from running in high school and earning a scholarship. I neglected a social life at that point but quickly ascended in that regard in college. I had great moments in college that made me forget about my missed opportunities in high school. After graduating college. I had many more great times and moments in life. I felt sorry for the people who peaked in life in high school and did nothing afterwards. I would have hated to be the man in high school but nothing afterwards. There's always time for great moments in life. People always think they're getting old, regardless of what are they are. Just enjoy the moment and let the past go. There's plenty of amazing opportunities and surprises ahead in life.

don't ask the jackasses on lets run for help

Ignore the trolls.

I am a teacher and coach. Please tell your parents and get help from a counselor. There are long term issues at play here that should be addressed. School counselors are fine, but I would get outside help. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

Best wishes for your recovery.

Senior year wrote:

Thanks so much for the kind responses everyone. I’m going to change and fix it all starting today.

Just remember that you don’t have to fix everything in one day. You probably can’t, if you feel as you describe. You will have good days and not-so-good days. Don’t lose faith, focus, hope if a bad day follows a good one. Life is a long game. And professional help helps. Really.

Just run hard and smart. At least you have a scholarship and some good credentials. Took me 5 years to get into the top 7 of a great program.

Our identity is not a number on a timer or a place in a field of runners.

Our identity is in Christ.

Remember that above ALL ELSE.

theJeff wrote:

Our identity is not a number on a timer or a place in a field of runners.

Our identity is in Christ.

Remember that above ALL ELSE.

He could be an atheist... I mean, I am, many people are...

My identity is in my personality.

Thanks guys. I am a Christian, haven’t had very strong faith lately. But today is the day I change. One step at a time

Nice trolling!

hey man, transition are hard, I'm sorry you're feeling down. I think many people aren't going to take your eating disorder as seriously as they should because you're male -- screw them, dude, it takes work to get this stuff right for all of us, and it takes guts to talk about it.. My nonprofessional advice is to relax, take up meditating, go outside a lot, talk to girls, and let the running just flow...but you should probably see a therapist/counselor. That's probably going to mean talking to your parents about what you're going through. Good luck.