I’m only 17 and a senior in high school, but I feel so depressed. I didn’t get to run my senior xc season due to an eating disorder and now my track season that starts in two weeks is going to be screwed up as well.
I don’t know how to ask for help, but I just can’t run like I used to. I had a phenomenal junior year. Now I can’t come close to those times. I’m very embarrassed. I feel like I’ve lost my identity because I’m no longer the top runner in the area. I’m just a scrub.
I am running in college next year and I’ve already signed. I’m worried that my scholarship will be taken from me if I don’t run well this track season. I put so much pressure on myself to perform that I can’t enjoy it anymore. I truly love running, it’s the only joy in my life. I just can’t handle not being the best.
Does anyone have any suggestions or experiences of their own to share that can relate to this?