Having a kid, maintaining elite-ish running career, possible?

Abortions are legal in Europe?

I was in the same boat, 14:20 guy out of college, big dreams, dedicated to running had a child right out of college kept it going. Having a child never interfered with my training or career, had my best running of my life with young kids. It's when my career took off and my kids got older (i.e, my running prime 28-32 years old) when I could not sustain the 120-mile weeks, etc.

OP, I think you can do it. You're talking about two hours per day. Done early in the morning a daily 8-12 miler out the door is not a big impact. Doubling/evening runs are usually harder to schedule for people with non-running lives, but of course you can do it. Your girlfriend will just be spending that much more baby time (or precious adult time) alone. If you have to travel to workouts in the evening that's another world of time; but I'm not hearing that from you.

The other thing I'm not hearing from you is how you'd feel if your girlfriend was going to grad school while the baby was young, and also spent two hours a day pursuing an outside interest like running, yoga, etc while you were with the baby (at home). Would you be ok with that?

That's the kind of concrete example I'd like to hear. Appreciate that! It's the balancing act I'm concerned about, what about when child went to pre-school, things of that nature?

kljV wrote:

Abortions are legal in Europe?

I was in the same boat, 14:20 guy out of college, big dreams, dedicated to running had a child right out of college kept it going. Having a child never interfered with my training or career, had my best running of my life with young kids. It's when my career took off and my kids got older (i.e, my running prime 28-32 years old) when I could not sustain the 120-mile weeks, etc.

Been thar wrote:

OP, I think you can do it. You're talking about two hours per day. Done early in the morning a daily 8-12 miler out the door is not a big impact. Doubling/evening runs are usually harder to schedule for people with non-running lives, but of course you can do it. Your girlfriend will just be spending that much more baby time (or precious adult time) alone. If you have to travel to workouts in the evening that's another world of time; but I'm not hearing that from you.

The other thing I'm not hearing from you is how you'd feel if your girlfriend was going to grad school while the baby was young, and also spent two hours a day pursuing an outside interest like running, yoga, etc while you were with the baby (at home). Would you be ok with that?

Yes of course I'd be supportive of her and what she'd like to do. I've already broached this issue with her and she's made it clear that she'd want me to continue pursuing my running since she knows it means a lot to me. I would naturally return the favor. I like kids, usually have a lot of energy despite my high mileage so I would not have a problem spending time with the kid. Studying isn't all that time consuming and when I get a job I think I could make it work financially with only part time initially, I might have a 5 year window where I'd wanna pursue my running further. All workouts and runs would be in fairly close proximity to the house, mostly I'd be able to complete "workouts" in around 2 hours, distance runs obviously less when right out the door. Appreciate the response.

I was a devoted father while working a full-time job and competing at your level as a post collegiate through master's level runner. It is doable. Three key things:

1. Early mornings are for hard workouts. Once or twice a week, get out the door way before dawn. But otherwise don't. You need sleep with a little kid. You'll understand once it arrives.

2. Lunch runs. An hour at lunch when not in sight of your child's mother will not count in the "you owe me" column. You should already understand this if you are living together.

3. Babysitters. On your weekend long run, always get a babysitter. You get your time. Your baby momma gets her own time. Trust me on this. This is mandatory if you want guilt free running

How to do it wrote:

I was a devoted father while working a full-time job and competing at your level as a post collegiate through master's level runner. It is doable. Three key things:

1. Early mornings are for hard workouts. Once or twice a week, get out the door way before dawn. But otherwise don't. You need sleep with a little kid. You'll understand once it arrives.

2. Lunch runs. An hour at lunch when not in sight of your child's mother will not count in the "you owe me" column. You should already understand this if you are living together.

3. Babysitters. On your weekend long run, always get a babysitter. You get your time. Your baby momma gets her own time. Trust me on this. This is mandatory if you want guilt free running

Thanks for the input. The sleeping aspect, is that really terrible? Did you get up when the baby was crying even if it was the mom that stayed at home? I figured it would make sense that the one that was at home with the baby would deal with that, thus I'd do it when I was on parental leave and she would when she was on maternal leave. I would fit runs on my breaks. We both have a quite extensive support network which would alleviate some of the babysitter responsibilities. We both have active parents that would welcome this child.

BabyReagan wrote:

Thanks for the input. The sleeping aspect, is that really terrible?

It depends on the baby. Some sleep well, others don't. The first few months are almost always rough because the baby has to be fed a few times a night. Might be good to plan with your partner how to tackle that.

I strongly recommend researching sleep training. If your baby responds to the training, it will save you a lot of grief. My wife was able to do this with our kid, and the baby was sleeping through the night somewhere around 4-5 months.

You make some good points, but the questions is NOT:

"Can you run many miles with a family?", but:

"Can you maintain an elite-ish running career?".

The first one has to do with having 90-120" in any 24h period to run. The second one has to do with performing consistently at the "elite-ish" level.

Can you comment on the latter? thx

Ha! Good one!

With the first one, the sleeping thing really is that terrible, especially for ge first three months, maybe even six months. Your significant other is going to be exhausted and may even end up a bit of an emotional wreck from the lack of sleep. You may not have breasts, and it may not make sense, but you'll end up having a role in the process. At a minimum, you'll wake up every time she does. Plus, I suspect that most first time parents are like me in that they will have constant fear that something is wrong with the baby if they don't hear the baby making noise regularly.

It isn't forever, but it will impact you. Don't even fight this fight. It may seem irrational to you, but when fatigue sets in the way it's going to set in with her, rational thinking goes out the window. And that's even assuming no wild hormonal issues or post-petunia depression. It also assumes a smooth breast feeding process, which is no guaranty. My first was born at 34.5 weeks, 4 pounds, 10 ounces. Breast feeding was a challenge. So she was breast fed, then my wife pumped milk. While my wife pumped, I fed the baby the milk pumped front the last round, then supplemented with formula and burped her. That meant 20 minute interruptions to my milkless ass every feeding.

Staying at a dedicated running level with one kid is quite doable. 2-3kids then you're talking challenges. Keep the kid. He/She, and the responsibilities he/she brings, will make you a better person and runner.

BabyReagan wrote:

Thanks for the input. The sleeping aspect, is that really terrible? Did you get up when the baby was crying even if it was the mom that stayed at home? I figured it would make sense that the one that was at home with the baby would deal with that, thus I'd do it when I was on parental leave and she would when she was on maternal leave. I would fit runs on my breaks. We both have a quite extensive support network which would alleviate some of the babysitter responsibilities. We both have active parents that would welcome this child.

There's still no answer other than it depends. You and the mom can make whatever arrangement you want, and the amount the baby sleeps can vary a ton. If it works for you that's all that matters. Depending on what the baby does, the mom may or may not be ok with the predetermined arrangement once things get going. For example, my baby would go to bed at 8, be up crying at like 9, 11, 2, 5, and up for the day at 8. Each waking she'd be up for 20min to an hour. One person would not get any real sleep. My wife, who stays home, couldn't nap much in the day because the baby didn't nap well either. We split the duties probably 70/30. For every one baby like mine, there's another that sleeps through the night at 8 weeks old. But again, the baby stage is temporary, toddler is easier

jewbacca wrote:

Congrats. I have a 2-year old and one on the way, and being a father has been the best experience of my life so far.

Yes, it's possible to train at a high level. I've managed to find time for 90 mpw, and running has never taken away from my responsibilities as a father.

1) I'm out the door at 4:30am M-F. Sat/Sun I sleep in till 5am and I'm home by the time baby wakes up

2) I add 3 evening runs a week, and most times I bring the baby in the jogging stroller, or else wait till baby is in bed

3) 3 quality sessions a week plus a Sunday long run

4) When she can, my wife bikes with us on the evening runs

You can make it work, though it may take some adjustment.

this is all true: just use some g.d. discipline & don't pretend a kid is that precious they need your undivided slobbering 24/7. they don't and you- everyone- is annoying when it appears otherwise.

a fit wife helps a lot, of course.

Thanks for all the answers people, it might sound silly but it's very much appreciated. I'm just trying to prepare myself to the best of my ability for what's to come, I'm not sociopath that wouldn't budge on my rituals, I understand that this is an imperative life decision that would require my fullest devotion. However, after going back and forth it does look like most of you agree that it's not necessarily a detriment to my running career, as long as I make the right decisions. I also reckon that most of you are from the states and this process would most likely look vastly different there from what it will/would here.

What does she see in you?

Your life's goal is to run non-professional times?

You have no problem leeching off her like another baby, while also sucking at the government's teat?

Does she really dislike footballers or skiers or equestrians or whatever sport is popular in your country?

How did you convince yourself that a time 30/mile slower the record is the most important thing in the world?

WTF??? wrote:

What does she see in you?

Your life's goal is to run non-professional times?

You have no problem leeching off her like another baby, while also sucking at the government's teat?

Does she really dislike footballers or skiers or equestrians or whatever sport is popular in your country?

How did you convince yourself that a time 30/mile slower the record is the most important thing in the world?

Good one. Always amazes me that some people believe it's all or nothing. Just because I have ambitions in running doesn't mean I don't have them elsewhere, it's not black or white. But I'll make sure to extend this question to her, since you seem like an overwhelmingly bright individual it's the least I can do.

BabyReagan wrote:

Hi!

Will cut to the chase. 24 year old, turning 25 later this year. Just found out my girlfriend is pregnant, and she is on the fence but leaning towards keeping it.

While I'm no world beater I'm a competitive runner in my area and improving steadily, I've set career goals of sub 14 and sub 29 that which I intend to pursue (Currently at 8.15 for 3000m and 14.15 for 5000m). Now, spare me the "you're not fit to be a father if you put your running career before the child's needs"-comments, I understand that priorities will change. What I wanna know is, preferably from somewhat competitive runners, is it possible to finagle a serious running career while having a young child? My girlfriend would (most likely) be supportive of my running as long as I still play my role as a father in the relationship.

Much obliged.

You all yourself elite-ish in your area? Hahahs...you are 25 and you probably run what 3 races a year?

You are going to have a baby that means you need to change priorities. You have no running career unless you care about getting a $5 medal.

Another example of a running geek with no sense of what life is about

BabyReagan wrote:

Hi!

Will cut to the chase. 24 year old, turning 25 later this year. Just found out my girlfriend is pregnant, and she is on the fence but leaning towards keeping it.

While I'm no world beater I'm a competitive runner in my area and improving steadily, I've set career goals of sub 14 and sub 29 that which I intend to pursue (Currently at 8.15 for 3000m and 14.15 for 5000m). Now, spare me the "you're not fit to be a father if you put your running career before the child's needs"-comments, I understand that priorities will change. What I wanna know is, preferably from somewhat competitive runners, is it possible to finagle a serious running career while having a young child? My girlfriend would (most likely) be supportive of my running as long as I still play my role as a father in the relationship.

Much obliged.

I had a friend who ran 29:4X 10000m and a 65:xx half-marathon and had three children and full-time job. Occasionally hit 100 per week. Had a pretty good weekend social life too (sometimes mixed with running, like camping trips away to races). He might have run faster with nothing else to do, but it wouldn't have been a whole lot.

You might miss some of the peripheral things that elites do, but you can still run awfully well in that situation.

I

I run with a bunch of guys (17 to 20-minute 5k types) in their 30s-40s with kids. They often put their kid in some sort of BOB jogging stroller during the run (there may be better brands out there for elite athletes -- Max King had a hands-free stroller that went behind him and attached to his waist). The kid usually sleeps through most of it (maybe they time it for nap time) and the kids usually seem happy to be there. One of them eventually started to complain about the bumps on the trails when he was 3 or 4.

This might not be ideal for training, but on a shakeout run it probably doesn't make a difference and it's just another way to help take responsibility for the kid without affecting your running.

Having said this I'm neither an elite runner or dad (afaik).

Yeah, I mean it is what it is. I have a small shoe contract now and some obligations connected to that. But it's not like I've lived off my running as is. I'm looking for examples like your friend, relative success stories.