to the dads out there how do you balance life and running?

Over the years, I have ran at times when my family was asleep, so I wouldn't have scheduling conflicts with what my family was doing. Of course there were nights when the kids were sick and I had to skip a run, but mostly, I had quiet early morning runs with little stress.

Having a spouse who runs is really a double edged sword when it comes to this issue.

On the one hand, my wife (who really came to the sport only in the last few years) absolutely gets my need to get a run in basically every day.

On the other hand, she also needs to get her run in 5 days a week, and she really prefers to run in the morning, so I would need to be up and out by 5:00 am to get back in time for her to get her run in during the early morning hours too.

Thus I am able to get in runs without marital discord, but I need to find times throughout the day in which to squeeze them.

In fact, work got crazy this afternoon, so today's run is either going by the wayside, or will take place at 8:00 pm after family pizza night.

I miss the days I could go run at all hours of the night. I can't anymore because it's too dangerous (high crime area). That would make things a lot more simple for me.

There's been some great responses. I typically run as my kids are doing homework. (Once the time change comes around I run after they go to bed.) I get back eat dinner with the family clean the dishes. Play with the kids and get them ready for bed. Spend the rest of the evening watching whatever show my wife wants to watch or she goes out for a run usually on the dreadmill because she doesn't like running outside. I get back home from my Sunday long runs usually before 8am.

I'd love to get 60+ mile weeks. The only way i can do that is averaging 8+ mile runs early in the morning. Since my easy pace is pretty slow it'd be about 72 min run every morning if i did that. So I will probably have to consider this if i want that kind of mileage, especially since summer thunderstorms can derail an evening run at any moment.

sbeefyk1 wrote:

I'll give you a real answer. I actually stopped running when my daughter was 4

I recommend playing with the child and only running when you really are sitting on your butt. Or buy the child a bike and run with the child as they bike. Pretty good idea if you ask me.

I totally believe in and enjoy spending quality time with my family. I love my parents and think they are awesome and did a great job, and still do a great job. However, I have no idea what my parents did with their time when I was growing up. I do know they both ran. But, the reason I don't know what they did is because spending time with my parents was pretty low on my list of priorities as a kid. Who they hell wants to play with their parents?

I have no idea why parents now think their lives need to be all about their kids, but that just isn't healthy for anyone. And it's not the children that need that - it's the parents who are behind that unhealthy urge to totally dominate a child's life.

If you go for an hour run every day do you know what that will mean to your child? Pretty much nothing. Maybe by leading by example they will grow up to run, like in my family. Maybe you will be healthier like my parents. But your child is not going to sit back later in life and wish they spent more time playing with their parents. That's actually just a messed up need of the parents, not the child.

If you aren't running because you feel you need to play with child more - you either are really bad at time management (so you only have one free hour a day) or you are just wrong.

Everything has been said but I'll add my 2 cents.

The only way to do it completely guilt free is to run in the AM before they wake up. Don't overrate how much sleep you actually need. Try to go to bed earlier.

Absent that, run while at work or run during a time when you know they don't need you. They're at school or other semi independent activities.

I don't get the people who (consistently) come home and immediately go for a run. If I did that then I'd have maybe 30-60 minutes per week day with my kids during their waking hours.

It's hard.

There are no easy answers. With serious discipline you can do it all, but that kind of lifestyle takes a toll on most people - a nonstop life, rushing from one thing to another, every second of your life planned and accounted for, zero spontaneity, and likely sleep deprivation. Not good.

I wouldn't ignore guilt. Guilt is usually an indicator that you should do some deep thinking. That said, doing no running is just as bad, if not worse, because if you're not healthy you're not going to be a good father and husband.

Monday through Friday: I have to be home by 6:15 AM.

Weekends: 9:30-ish.

This is the typical mentality of selfish parents.

In my house it's kids first, family first. Some parents don't want to make sacrifices. Some parents shouldn't be parents. Not sure why these types have kids.

Rick Widecock wrote:

Don't overrate how much sleep you actually need.

This is 100% the wrong thing to do. Working Americans don't get nearly enough sleep. From a scientific basis, there are not many things that are more important than getting enough quality sleep. And enough is about 8 hours.

One word "treadmill"

john utah wrote:

This is the typical mentality of selfish parents.

In my house it's kids first, family first. Some parents don't want to make sacrifices. Some parents shouldn't be parents. Not sure why these types have kids.

No it's not. I'm sure you are raising self centred little pieces of crap who believe the world revolves around them. You are what's wrong with america. Putting family first doesn't mean parents aren't allowed hobbies, that's just messed up thinking.

I hate to think how much time your POS family spends in front of the TV.

Whoa. We have nearly the same schedule and family situation. I have a 3 year old and another on the way. I typically get up between 3:30 and 4 AM on weekdays. My runs those days vary from 5 miles (recovery) up to 15 miles with some core work and weights tacked on 3 days a week. Weekends are usually 1 easy run (Saturday) and a long run Sunday. I get up later on weekend mornings (usually 5:30 - 6).

I also do the same--try to give my wife frequent breaks in the evenings after I get home from work and on weekend afternoons. This system has worked well for us and my wife is supportive of my running + this schedule.

I expect to be taking off some time from running when the new baby comes. I agree with the poster that said it's very difficult / impossible to keep up mileage with a newborn unless you completely abandon your wife and parenting responsibilities. Which is a lame thing to do. Kids / family are more important than running but if you are determined and have good communication with your spouse you can do both.

I am not a father, but I have a friend who is, actually father of 3. When he had just one kid and working 40 hr week, he was running around 3.10 marathon. Now he is doing 2:50 to 2:55 , two more kids and working 50 hr week. He told me he cut all unnecessary shit from his life like TV (only movies once in a while), social networking and even Internet (unless he is searching for something important ). He says he feels like he has more now than before. It's amazing how much time is stolen from us by the little unnecessary things we do every day...

john utah wrote:

Rick Widecock wrote:

Don't overrate how much sleep you actually need.

This is 100% the wrong thing to do. Working Americans don't get nearly enough sleep. From a scientific basis, there are not many things that are more important than getting enough quality sleep. And enough is about 8 hours.

What are you, 16? Sure 8 hours is nice but I guarantee you it's not necessary. Plenty of successful people get by with materially less.

I am fortunate to be able to hire help to tend to my garden, household chores including cooking, and babysit the kids. So I quite a bit of free time despite working long hours. 20mpw is normal for me.

I haven't read every answer....but I drop my older kids off at practice or a game and get in my run. They have to be at hames 45-1hr before so I can get my whole run in before the game. When they have practice I can get a long run in.

pieces of crap wrote:

john utah wrote:

This is the typical mentality of selfish parents.

In my house it's kids first, family first. Some parents don't want to make sacrifices. Some parents shouldn't be parents. Not sure why these types have kids.

No it's not. I'm sure you are raising self centred little pieces of crap who believe the world revolves around them. You are what's wrong with america. Putting family first doesn't mean parents aren't allowed hobbies, that's just messed up thinking.

I hate to think how much time your POS family spends in front of the TV.

Again, you display the attitude and "values" of a selfish and lazy parent. Parenting takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice if you are doing it right.

LOL if you think family time involves watching the TV. What a loser.

Wow, getting up at 3:30 to run mileage. Pretty impressive.