Ex wants me to father a child that she will raise without me.

Real Answers wrote:

INCORRECT!

She has sent me occasional updates (and thanks). I am NOT involved.

Not too complicated, really. But I am glad I could help clear that up for you.

....Flagpole, is that you?

Real Answers wrote:

Flagpole wrote:

Don't do it. never, Never, NEVER do that. Don't think that the two of your are different and that she's cool or whatever. All she needs is to have financial trouble and you're on the hook, brother.

You feel like you want to marry her, then do that, but no freakin' way do you have a kid with her on those terms. Foolishness to the nth degree.

INCORRECT!

As I have pointed out multiple times, there most definitely IS a way to do this without being on the hook, brother.

There was a story in the news about a year ago where someone went about this very situation the WRONG way. A lesbian couple wanted a child and had a male friend 'donate'. All of the books outside of a clinic. They used the turkey baster method or whatever. I believe they even signed some papers. A year or 2 later the gay couple divorced and the mother with custody filed for welfare. It was the state that went after the donor father, not the mother. He had to pay back child support and well as be on the hook until the kid is 18.

Hire a lawyer and go through a clinic.

Real Answers wrote:

Why would you say that wrote:

INCORRECT!!!

If you followed your own advice in step 3 and cut off all relations like you recommend, then you wouldn't know anything about the kid let alone how happy or healthy they are. Are you one of those "do as I say, not as I do" people? No one likes a know-it-all that doesn't.

INCORRECT!

She has sent me occasional updates (and thanks). I am NOT involved.

Not too complicated, really. But I am glad I could help clear that up for you.

INCORRECT!!!

If she is sending you "occasional" updates, that means you are a part of that child's life, albeit a small one. 6 years ain't sh*t man. Wait until YOUR kid reaches teenage years and becomes a handful, as most teens do. She's gonna be giving that kid your contact info and you're gonna be having the birds and the bees talk in no time!

Go to American Girl and buy her a beautiful doll for her to play with. Given her maturity level that's about all she can handle right now.

And think of it this way...what if you go through with it and a little while down the road you meet a great girl and get married and start a family. Then by some chance this little skeleton comes out of your closet. Your marriage and your family could be completely blown up because of a girl you had no attachment to other than you liked to bang when you were younger. Outside of the here and now, that to me is one of the biggest things to consider.

Even if you 100% sure that you would have no future financial obligation it is a bad idea.

I don't know how you can conceive a child and just not be the father to that child.

If you want to have the kid with here and raise the child as separate parents that would be better.

Take responsibility.

Real Answers wrote:

Why would you say that wrote:

INCORRECT!!!

If you followed your own advice in step 3 and cut off all relations like you recommend, then you wouldn't know anything about the kid let alone how happy or healthy they are. Are you one of those "do as I say, not as I do" people? No one likes a know-it-all that doesn't.

INCORRECT!

She has sent me occasional updates (and thanks). I am NOT involved.

Not too complicated, really. But I am glad I could help clear that up for you.

INCORRECT!!! Just because you're a jerk to everyone who posted doesn't make you right on this topic. Don't foist your poor life choices on this forum as a viable option for the OP. Just because you call it the right choice, doesn't make it so for you, your kid who will have tons of questions, or for the OP who still has a chance to make the right choice.

BTW, you're a great troll. Keep it up.

The Obvious Answer... wrote:

This is such an easy problem to solve. Here's what you do.

1) Tell her you need two weeks to think about it.

2) Spend the first week whacking off and banking your sperm for your own future procreation plans.

3) Get a vasectomy. Spend the 2nd week recuperating from that.

4) Tell her it's a go, and bang her brains out until you're tired of her.

So much win here... an unstable hairbag is denied offspring, and a LR poster actually gets laid. Amazing.

Real Answers wrote:

Flagpole wrote:

Don't do it. never, Never, NEVER do that. Don't think that the two of your are different and that she's cool or whatever. All she needs is to have financial trouble and you're on the hook, brother.

You feel like you want to marry her, then do that, but no freakin' way do you have a kid with her on those terms. Foolishness to the nth degree.

INCORRECT!

As I have pointed out multiple times, there most definitely IS a way to do this without being on the hook, brother.

The only way a parent can collect child support is if he/she is the custodial parent and actually FILES for support. I have a good friend who has never requested support from her EX. Guess what? The EX doesn't owe a dime as long as she never requests it.

1. Do Not Do This.

2. If you feel compelled to ignore #1, pay for your own lawyer, you don't want to screwed over because she picked a crummy lawyer at random from the phone book and he screws up the paperwork.

Rater of jerks wrote:

Real Answers wrote:

INCORRECT!

She has sent me occasional updates (and thanks). I am NOT involved.

Not too complicated, really. But I am glad I could help clear that up for you.

INCORRECT!!! Just because you're a jerk to everyone who posted doesn't make you right on this topic. Don't foist your poor life choices on this forum as a viable option for the OP. Just because you call it the right choice, doesn't make it so for you, your kid who will have tons of questions, or for the OP who still has a chance to make the right choice.

BTW, you're a great troll. Keep it up.

So, you are saying that every child conceived through in vitro fertilization using a sperm donor must be the result of "poor life choices"?

Or are you just saying that you are a moron in general and that everything you post is equally without a basis in reality?

Star wrote:

Even if you 100% sure that you would have no future financial obligation it is a bad idea.

I don't know how you can conceive a child and just not be the father to that child.

If you want to have the kid with here and raise the child as separate parents that would be better.

Take responsibility.

Sperm donors are bad people? Irresponsible people?

WTF?

racket wrote:

Real Answers wrote:

INCORRECT!

She has sent me occasional updates (and thanks). I am NOT involved.

Not too complicated, really. But I am glad I could help clear that up for you.

....Flagpole, is that you?

Nope. Indeed, I made it 100% clear in an earlier post that Flagpole was INCORRECT on this one.

driven before wrote:

Real Answers wrote:

INCORRECT!

As I have pointed out multiple times, there most definitely IS a way to do this without being on the hook, brother.

There was a story in the news about a year ago where someone went about this very situation the WRONG way. A lesbian couple wanted a child and had a male friend 'donate'. All of the books outside of a clinic. They used the turkey baster method or whatever. I believe they even signed some papers. A year or 2 later the gay couple divorced and the mother with custody filed for welfare. It was the state that went after the donor father, not the mother. He had to pay back child support and well as be on the hook until the kid is 18.

Hire a lawyer and go through a clinic.

CORRECT!

Real Answers wrote:

Star wrote:

Even if you 100% sure that you would have no future financial obligation it is a bad idea.

I don't know how you can conceive a child and just not be the father to that child.

If you want to have the kid with her and raise the child as separate parents that would be better.

Take responsibility.

Sperm donors are bad people? Irresponsible people?

WTF?

I'd feel weird being a sperm donor.

But being a sperm donor means that you have no idea if you had a child and who may have had your child.

Very different from knowingly impregnating a woman and being OK with having nothing to do with that child ever again.

And this person has interactions with the woman. He may keep banging her.

I can't believe that almost every post is more concerned with the money he may have to pay.

somebloke wrote:

she is already pregnant. she is just letting you know. ok, thanks, bye.

How are people just ignoring somebloke? It's a test! If she just needed a squirt, she wouldn't have asked.

Credit where it's due. 10/10. Bravo

Sara Palin wrote:

somebloke wrote:

she is already pregnant. she is just letting you know. ok, thanks, bye.

How are people just ignoring somebloke? It's a test! If she just needed a squirt, she wouldn't have asked.

Credit where it's due. 10/10. Bravo

If she is pregnant now, it is not mine. We have used protection every time since we split.

All these post have me scared to hook up with her again even though I think she is a good person.

5/10 to the OP... 8/10 if you are also posting under "REAL ANSWERS"

6 yrs isn't old enough for dad not being there yet to kick in, give it a few more years. I know my dad did the same thing to me.

Star wrote:

Real Answers wrote:

Sperm donors are bad people? Irresponsible people?

WTF?

I'd feel weird being a sperm donor.

But being a sperm donor means that you have no idea if you had a child and who may have had your child.

Very different from knowingly impregnating a woman and being OK with having nothing to do with that child ever again.

And this person has interactions with the woman. He may keep banging her.

I can't believe that almost every post is more concerned with the money he may have to pay.

I agree that it is a VERY bad idea to have continuing relations with the woman. It is also a VERY bad idea to do this by natural means.