Ex wants me to father a child that she will raise without me.

Real Answers wrote:

Mr. Obvious wrote:

worst idea ever.

No the mother cannot waive child support.

Yes, the woman CAN waive child support but ONLY under the conditions that I specified in my post above.

You are correct. It can be "waived" (I'm not certain that is the correct language but the effect is the same) for sperm donors through a licensed clinic.

don't be a dummy wrote:

This is a terrible idea as others have said. You could move on, forget about it, and in 10 years get sued for back child support as a deadbeat dad. That's entirely apart from personal or emotional entanglements and moral responsibility for your child.

It is foolish stuff like this that keeps family lawyers in business.

Only have a child if you are willing to be a father to the child and accept financial responsibility.

INCORRECT!

Why are so many of you so certain that you know what is best for an individual that you know nothing about? Is the woman involved ready, willing and able to be a great single mom? I don't know. But it IS possible.

she is already pregnant. she is just letting you know. ok, thanks, bye.

Mr. Obvious wrote:

Real Answers wrote:

Yes, the woman CAN waive child support but ONLY under the conditions that I specified in my post above.

You are correct. It can be "waived" (I'm not certain that is the correct language but the effect is the same) for sperm donors through a licensed clinic.

Ah, leave it to Mr. Obvious to help others see the truth. Mr. Obvious is certainly one of the greatest, most logical posters on LRC.

Cheers

This is such an easy problem to solve. Here's what you do.

1) Tell her you need two weeks to think about it.

2) Spend the first week whacking off and banking your sperm for your own future procreation plans.

3) Get a vasectomy. Spend the 2nd week recuperating from that.

4) Tell her it's a go, and bang her brains out until you're tired of her.

wear a condom for the first 15 tries

Real Answers wrote:

Mr. Obvious wrote:

You are correct. It can be "waived" (I'm not certain that is the correct language but the effect is the same) for sperm donors through a licensed clinic.

Ah, leave it to Mr. Obvious to help others see the truth. Mr. Obvious is certainly one of the greatest, most logical posters on LRC.

Cheers

It's a rather narrow exception which is not at all applicable to the original scenario posted. I admitted I didn't think of it, but since it didn't really apply, I may not have posted it anyway.

Also, even if she doesn't intend to ask you for support, if she later tries to get different public benefits for herself or the child, she might be compelled to seek child support from you as a condition of getting public benefits, because the expectation would be that the father should pay for his child before the public should.

For the guy who keeps bringing up being a sperm donor, that's not the question - "she wants to conceive naturally." She could already go to a sperm bank anytime she wants but apparently doesn't want to go that route.

What is wrong with you? Do you have a mental disability? A normal person would not post this.

Thank you for all the replies. After reading everything I am definitely not going to conceiving naturally. I will tell her that she can have my sperm if she does it at a clinic and pays for a lawyer to write up something saying she waves child support.

I do not understand all the posts about me being a bad person or that I should only father a child if I intend to raise it. This is something she is going to do with or without me. She WANTS to be a single mom and I actually think she will be a good mom.

Other than it just being easier (which it won't now), she said she wanted me rather than a random donor because she knows I am healthy and nothing bad runs in my family. This part is dumb, but she also likes that I am tall and have blue eyes.

Horrible idea. The kid will be f'u'cked up growing up without a dad, you will be fu'c'ke'd up financially if she her changes her mind, the only person winning in this is the selfish bi''ch.

Most exs gross me the f'uc'k out after we break up, you must be truly desperate

6.5/10

Why would she raise this when she can do what she has been doing...and conceive?

Why visit a sperm dairy when you can get the man milk for free?

the sword wrote:

Horrible idea. The kid will be f'u'cked up growing up without a dad, you will be fu'c'ke'd up financially if she her changes her mind, the only person winning in this is the selfish bi''ch.

Most exs gross me the f'uc'k out after we break up, you must be truly desperate

This is correct. Growing up without a father figure, the kid will become gay, for sure.

On the plus side though, gays make good TV and movies, so there are very, VERY good odds that you produce the next Ryan Murphy (he's a famous Gay, in case you didn't know.)

I've done the same thing. Child is now 6 years old - healthy, happy, within a good extended family (that does NOT include me).

Best of luck.

I've got a little different take on it. First of all, you don't "feel ownership" of children. I think you were probably thinking of love or connection. In any case, I think you're underestimating the impact a child can have on you. You will KNOW that it's your child, and it will change you - no matter which way its conceived. If you don't want a child, then don't do it. Regardless of the legal and financial aspects of the arrangement, the emotional aspects will have a much larger impact on your life.

fwb wrote:

I have no problem with that and would not feel any ownership over the child so I said yes.

Don't do it. never, Never, NEVER do that. Don't think that the two of your are different and that she's cool or whatever. All she needs is to have financial trouble and you're on the hook, brother.

You feel like you want to marry her, then do that, but no freakin' way do you have a kid with her on those terms. Foolishness to the nth degree.

YOU LIKE CAPS, BRO?

Real Answers wrote:

don't be a dummy wrote:

This is a terrible idea as others have said. You could move on, forget about it, and in 10 years get sued for back child support as a deadbeat dad. That's entirely apart from personal or emotional entanglements and moral responsibility for your child.

It is foolish stuff like this that keeps family lawyers in business.

Only have a child if you are willing to be a father to the child and accept financial responsibility.

INCORRECT!

Why are so many of you so certain that you know what is best for an individual that you know nothing about? Is the woman involved ready, willing and able to be a great single mom? I don't know. But it IS possible.

Real Answers wrote:

I've done the same thing. Child is now 6 years old - healthy, happy, within a good extended family (that does NOT include me).

Best of luck.

INCORRECT!!!

If you followed your own advice in step 3 and cut off all relations like you recommend, then you wouldn't know anything about the kid let alone how happy or healthy they are. Are you one of those "do as I say, not as I do" people? No one likes a know-it-all that doesn't.

Flagpole wrote:

Don't do it. never, Never, NEVER do that. Don't think that the two of your are different and that she's cool or whatever. All she needs is to have financial trouble and you're on the hook, brother.

You feel like you want to marry her, then do that, but no freakin' way do you have a kid with her on those terms. Foolishness to the nth degree.

INCORRECT!

As I have pointed out multiple times, there most definitely IS a way to do this without being on the hook, brother.