Thanks for responding Something. Yeah, I'm glad I created this thread and re-insured the goofy and childish thoughts of my former "pie-in-the-sky" goal. I just remembered that the 59 "400m" I did with my friend one time was actually 0.22 miles, so yeah my quarter's like 64 secs. I've ran 40-50miles, avg. like 44.7miles, and cycling 30+/-5 since March-April; I use MapMyRun. As far as SOM, I'm lucky if I fit in an afternoon 30min. bike ride during my lunch break at work, that and my Mom's paralyzed, so my evenings are spent helping cook dinner and other chores.
Anyways, thanks everyone for responding and helping me realize my current situation. As a passionate goal chaser/go-getter type, I'd probably would've damn near killed myself running three-a-days over something that wasn't gonna happen had I not learned from the knowledge of the friendly folk and trolls of letsrun.com. Running's still lots of fun, and I will continue to train with more realistic goals in mind. Who knows? Maybe if/when I get to a 16-17min. 5k I'll be a winning a little gift card or something; it'd still be cool to be the fastest hobbyjogger in town despite middle-high school kids running minutes faster than me :P
As they say, there's a reason for every thing; all this training and obsessing wasn't for nothing, it'll come in handy one day I'm sure. Thanks again letsrun for being so helpful. That being said, I'll ensure that I'm the fastest snail at the snail race in September XD