Balian wrote:
Forget the girl. You need a song!
A big dorky song!
I love to go a-wandering,
Along the mountain track,
And as I go, I love to sing,
My knapsack on my back.
Chorus:
Val-deri,Val-dera,
Val-deri,
Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
haha indeed.. that was beautiful, thank you.
I was hoping someone would rise to the trollbait with some inspired surreal nonsense, and there you were.. bravo.
Lightning very rarely strikes twice and you will be very unlikely to meet a girl u feel like that for again in the future. Take the chance you have been given. Go for it. You will just have to make some lifestyle compromises but it will be worth it in long run. Run pardon the pun. Good luck.
She's not that into you.
You've given no reason to think she is into you other than an interesting sideline.
She will leave you and you will not have to worry about this. She'll know when the time is right ... And then you will know.
For the girl's sake, please move on. You sound like a real piece of work. Keep wandering. Marriage is not for everyone despite the pressures of society.
Funny how OP assumes the girl will simply oblige a committed relationship if he so chooses
Show her this thread and the decision will be made for you - I promise.
rojo wrote:
This is pretty simple. And I don't see how the timing is terrible. You admit you have a flexible job. So stay there and date her.
Match Maker wrote:Life, relationships take compromise and hard work like anything else.
As the poster above points out, relationships require compromise. If you want to do exactly what you want to do your entire life, then you will be single. That's on you. This sounds like a perfect relationship so stick around and see if it works out. You can't be 100% self-centered and be in a relationship.
These are such ancient barn dung old cliches.
Only people who settle for less than the best believe relationships are about compromise.
What that means is that men are supposed to stop wanting their way when their women act like emotional children wanting to use threats of emotional dissonance, or withhold sex, or use whining, nagging, btching, sex withholding etc., emotional retaliation to get their way.
Someone who is truly platinum level compatible is someone who holds the same major core values and you, shares most of the same tastes and opinions, and is not threatened if you think or believe differently, or want to "individuate."
Successful relationships are found by going slow enough to find someone who is compatible, and shares the same major core values, consciously, and the similar tastes and energies.
Successful relationships are about compatibility, and about collaboration and reasonable flexibility, where the relationship is a third entity, equally valued and protected and feed and nurtured by each parther.
Where protecting the relationship is more important than the trivial immature, dysfunctional crap women and men ruin relationships over.
If you are not done with sexual variety, don't get married.
Don't sacrifice your dreams for any woman. Men get more attractive the older and more accomplished they get. Women do not gain value with age, societally.
If you miss this bus, a younger one will come along later, appreciating you more.
Alien Guy wrote: The reason all this is a problem for me is that she's very tied down to her job and our current town, and I honestly didn't plan to live here much longer (I can move for my job and was planning to), and I can't really see my wandering and self-focused lifestyle jiving with a serious relationship. I also wanted to date around and keep things light for a year or two. I wanted to go back to school and possibly study abroad. I probably can't do this if I'm with her, but at the same time, I think passing up on a girl who seems to be a better match for me than any other girl I've ever met (and there have been a lot of them) could be quite foolish. I'm very conflicted.
No matter what decision you make, be very careful that you reach it by using the head on your shoulders and not the one below your waist.
Now, I think you need to get yourself past the idea that you need to be in a long-term relationship, much less a marriage. Too many people - myself included back in my younger days - make the mistake of getting married and tying themselves down because "it seems like the thing to do." You are clearly feeling doubts and indecision regarding this matter, and that is a very (VERY!) clear sign that you should move on and live your life in the way that has made you happiest thus far.
It sounds cliché, but if or when you meet the person you want to spend your life with, you will know it unquestionably. Move on, young man...and good luck.
Alien Guy wrote:
I can't really see my wandering and self-focused lifestyle jiving with a serious relationship.
It is jibing, not jiving. Jibe. I am not being mean about it, but I think you should know. Best of luck with the girl. It sounds like you ought to move on with your life. Wait until you are ready to settle down or you will resent her forever.
uhm, no,no, cliches compromise wrote:
rojo wrote:This is pretty simple. And I don't see how the timing is terrible. You admit you have a flexible job. So stay there and date her.
As the poster above points out, relationships require compromise. If you want to do exactly what you want to do your entire life, then you will be single. That's on you. This sounds like a perfect relationship so stick around and see if it works out. You can't be 100% self-centered and be in a relationship.
These are such ancient barn dung old cliches.
Only people who settle for less than the best believe relationships are about compromise.
What that means is that men are supposed to stop wanting their way when their women act like emotional children wanting to use threats of emotional dissonance, or withhold sex, or use whining, nagging, btching, sex withholding etc., emotional retaliation to get their way.
Someone who is truly platinum level compatible is someone who holds the same major core values and you, shares most of the same tastes and opinions, and is not threatened if you think or believe differently, or want to "individuate."
Successful relationships are found by going slow enough to find someone who is compatible, and shares the same major core values, consciously, and the similar tastes and energies.
Successful relationships are about compatibility, and about collaboration and reasonable flexibility, where the relationship is a third entity, equally valued and protected and feed and nurtured by each parther.
Where protecting the relationship is more important than the trivial immature, dysfunctional crap women and men ruin relationships over.
If you are not done with sexual variety, don't get married.
Don't sacrifice your dreams for any woman. Men get more attractive the older and more accomplished they get. Women do not gain value with age, societally.
If you miss this bus, a younger one will come along later, appreciating you more.
.. Posted from his parent's basement where you just finished reading another 1940's-era best-selling book on relationships and marriage.
Jib Jabbing Jiber wrote:
Alien Guy wrote:I can't really see my wandering and self-focused lifestyle jiving with a serious relationship.
It is jibing, not jiving. Jibe. I am not being mean about it, but I think you should know. Best of luck with the girl. It sounds like you ought to move on with your life. Wait until you are ready to settle down or you will resent her forever.
I see plenty of educated people confuse those two words. I don't understand it, but whatever. Kinda irks me though.
Alien Guy wrote:
I can't really see my wandering and self-focused lifestyle jiving with a serious relationship.
Let me help you...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=g0j2dVuhr6s#t=58Alien Guy wrote:
I am kind of a loner and a wanderer. I actually have a lot of friends, but I greatly enjoy time to myself and have not spent more than four years in any one town the last 10 years. I've done a lot in that time, and I've really enjoyed the freedom of being young and single. I dated a fair amount through it all but never had the intention of finding something serious, and for the most part, I never did.
Anyway, I found myself working a job for about a year that kind of consumed my life and greatly reduced my ability to do the things I like, things like running, hiking, traveling, etc, and it also really messed up my mental health for a while too. I ended up quitting that job about 10 months ago and got a different one that is about 100X better in every way. I was also in a fairly serious relationship during that time, but it turned sour and ended about 5 months ago, mostly for reasons unrelated to my job.
With the loss of the shackles that bound me (my crappy job and then a crappy relationship), I had decided to just focus on myself for a while, go do interesting things, travel, recreate, run, learn things, and just be free for awhile. I was very successful in all of that this past summer and felt like I had things very well figured out, as if I was once again totally in control of my life and heading in the most correct direction. However, I recently met a girl who has kind of screwed all of this up. I'm a pretty weird guy and have a very difficult time finding people I really connect with, but this girl and I seem to have an incredible amount in common... She's unlike any of the 50+ girls I've gone out with, and it was evident pretty early on that she was someone I could talk about anything with, be my "true self," something I can't do around 99% of people. She also seems to like me pretty well and seems to be thinking the same thing that I am. It's like, "Holy crap. Is this really happening?"
The reason all this is a problem for me is that she's very tied down to her job and our current town, and I honestly didn't plan to live here much longer (I can move for my job and was planning to), and I can't really see my wandering and self-focused lifestyle jiving with a serious relationship. I also wanted to date around and keep things light for a year or two. I wanted to go back to school and possibly study abroad. I probably can't do this if I'm with her, but at the same time, I think passing up on a girl who seems to be a better match for me than any other girl I've ever met (and there have been a lot of them) could be quite foolish. I'm very conflicted.
Sorry that I'm kind of rambling, but I'd like to hear from people here and if they have any advice or input. I'd especially appreciate input from some older guys since younger people typically lack perspective when it comes to relationships. I'm 27 FWIW and didn't really see myself getting married until my early to mid 30s, if at all.
You're a "loner" and have been with 50+ women? You remind me of those hot girls who put on the hipster glasses and then post on Facebook "Lol I'm such a nerd, XD".
Alan Webb's Goggles wrote:
kind of disturbing wrote:Email your thoughts to a woman you trust and ask for her honest feedback. I suspect she wouldn't want to date you, let alone marry you. She might feel you won't make a great partner since nowhere in your post did you mention her feelings, aspirations, or thoughts about anything, much less the life you are planning for yourself.
That doesn't seem to have occurred to the poster - that the girl might not want to date, much less marry, a man who messes around with numerous women on internet dating, can't hold down a job, has mental health issues, wants to be an external student and is selfish - selfish because nowhere does he mention this girl's feelings or thoughts. He also goes on. And on. And on. Most girls would run from a man behaving like this. Don't mistake charity initial friendliness for someone wanting to marry you.
Why not embrace your future of dating increasingly desperate women, probably impregnating a few, being a deadbeat dad keeping your salary low to avoid too high payments for your kids, and pedalling the same line in your mid forties?
Lol at your assessment of me. I'm willing to bet I'm much more successful than you and have done more in the last 5 years than you probably will in the next 20. Women are running towards me, not away from me, my employer loves me, I have a great relationship with my coworkers and friends, and I'm very happy with my life, so I must be doing something right. Just because someone doesn't live a boring conventional lifestyle doesn't mean they're a failure. To a lot of people living a boring conventional lifestyle would be a failure.
FWIW I'm making around double what most people my age are making in my field, so no deadbeat here. Sorry to disappoint.
When viewing the long term 'family' type relationships of my friends the successful ones fit this description.
Successful relationships are about compatibility, and about collaboration and reasonable flexibility, where the relationship is a third entity, equally valued and protected and feed and nurtured by each partner
Terrible definition:
dreadful, awful, appalling, horrific, horrifying, horrible, horrendous, atrocious, abominable, abhorrent, frightful, fearful, shocking, hideous, ghastly, grim, dire, hateful, unspeakable, gruesome, monstrous, sickening, heinous, vile;
Is it really that bad
I’m a D2 female runner. Our coach explicitly told us not to visit LetsRun forums.
Great interview with Steve Cram - says Jakob has no chance of WRs this year
RENATO can you talk about the preparation of Emile Cairess 2:06
2024 College Track & Field Open Coaching Positions Discussion
adizero Road to Records with Yomif Kejelcha, Agnes Ngetich, Hobbs Kessler & many more is Saturday
Hats off to my dad. He just ran a 1:42 Half Marathon and turns 75 in 2 months!