I am kind of a loner and a wanderer. I actually have a lot of friends, but I greatly enjoy time to myself and have not spent more than four years in any one town the last 10 years. I've done a lot in that time, and I've really enjoyed the freedom of being young and single. I dated a fair amount through it all but never had the intention of finding something serious, and for the most part, I never did.
Anyway, I found myself working a job for about a year that kind of consumed my life and greatly reduced my ability to do the things I like, things like running, hiking, traveling, etc, and it also really messed up my mental health for a while too. I ended up quitting that job about 10 months ago and got a different one that is about 100X better in every way. I was also in a fairly serious relationship during that time, but it turned sour and ended about 5 months ago, mostly for reasons unrelated to my job.
With the loss of the shackles that bound me (my crappy job and then a crappy relationship), I had decided to just focus on myself for a while, go do interesting things, travel, recreate, run, learn things, and just be free for awhile. I was very successful in all of that this past summer and felt like I had things very well figured out, as if I was once again totally in control of my life and heading in the most correct direction. However, I recently met a girl who has kind of screwed all of this up. I'm a pretty weird guy and have a very difficult time finding people I really connect with, but this girl and I seem to have an incredible amount in common... She's unlike any of the 50+ girls I've gone out with, and it was evident pretty early on that she was someone I could talk about anything with, be my "true self," something I can't do around 99% of people. She also seems to like me pretty well and seems to be thinking the same thing that I am. It's like, "Holy crap. Is this really happening?"
The reason all this is a problem for me is that she's very tied down to her job and our current town, and I honestly didn't plan to live here much longer (I can move for my job and was planning to), and I can't really see my wandering and self-focused lifestyle jiving with a serious relationship. I also wanted to date around and keep things light for a year or two. I wanted to go back to school and possibly study abroad. I probably can't do this if I'm with her, but at the same time, I think passing up on a girl who seems to be a better match for me than any other girl I've ever met (and there have been a lot of them) could be quite foolish. I'm very conflicted.
Sorry that I'm kind of rambling, but I'd like to hear from people here and if they have any advice or input. I'd especially appreciate input from some older guys since younger people typically lack perspective when it comes to relationships. I'm 27 FWIW and didn't really see myself getting married until my early to mid 30s, if at all.
Met a girl I think could be my future wife... However, the timing is terrible. Please advise.
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just run baby
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Alien Guy wrote:
... She's unlike any of the 50+ girls I've gone out with...
This line gave it away. 2/10. -
It's cliche but when you know, you know.
Date her and if you really feel like she's "the one" then you need to make a grown up decision. Life, relationships take compromise and hard work like anything else.
I would highly doubt you'll stay in that same area, job, etc forever so don't see it as your adventure is ending now. Again, if she is the one then you'll have to be a man and stop running away. -
That's called falling in love ... but it requires some sacrifice on your part. If you aren't willing to make some sacrifices to be around her, then move on. It is that simple.
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Ackley wrote:
Alien Guy wrote:
... She's unlike any of the 50+ girls I've gone out with...
This line gave it away. 2/10.
I am going to fight my urge to give advice because I believe you are right.
But I do think that often trolls attempts reveal certain issues and themes true to the person trolling. -
Yeah, grow up already. I mean, the grass ISN'T always greener. Sometimes people who feel like there is always something better end up dead in an abandoned bus in Alaska. If it's good, it's worth hanging around for.
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I think the OP is trolling, but if not, why would any nice girl be interested? He's totally into himself and seems very unstable and immature. Quite the catch... And he claims to have dated over 50 women. My guess is that most of them lost interest after date #1.
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WAY too much humble bragging in one post. Hopefully she flees town.
3/10 -
If you actually knew anything about long term long, you would know that marriages are not based on the initial reactions. It takes a lot more than that.
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That's Great! Thanks for posting!
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Don't pine for too long. She'll be gone the moment you take your shirt off.
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Been moving around the past 10 years implies he left home at age 17. This and the 50 girls......troll. 3/10
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I love these threads..
vivalarepublica wrote:
If you actually knew anything about long term long, you would know that marriages are not based on the initial reactions. It takes a lot more than that.
Initial reaction is based on how like the mother figure she is. And I don't mean it like height and hair color, I mean like the way Mom made him wierd. The deep sh!t.
Staying in a Marriage is mostly about sacrifices anyway. The sacrifices are 'worth it' for most that stay in a LTR. Staying in one place is a small sacrifice. Monogamy is an artifice anyway.
If the op is real, there is no way it's going to work out. At best, this is the first girl you've fallen for. Fall in love and make a mess out of it. It will improve your skills for the next one.
Separately, I love the judgement on dating 50 people. Yeah, that's real whoring around.. 50 or 150 it just doesn't matter.
I'm speaking as a weird old dude in a marriage. -
Forget the girl. You need a song!
A big dorky song!
I love to go a-wandering,
Along the mountain track,
And as I go, I love to sing,
My knapsack on my back.
Chorus:
Val-deri,Val-dera,
Val-deri,
Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Val-deri,Val-dera.
My knapsack on my back.
I love to wander by the stream
That dances in the sun,
So joyously it calls to me,
"Come! Join my happy song!"
I wave my hat to all I meet,
And they wave back to me,
And blackbirds call so loud and sweet
From ev'ry green wood tree.
High overhead, the skylarks wing,
They never rest at home
But just like me, they love to sing,
As o'er the world we roam.
Oh, may I go a-wandering
Until the day I die!
Oh, may I always laugh and sing,
Beneath God's clear blue sky!
Read more: http://www.scoutsongs.com/lyrics/happywanderer.html#ixzz3nVxmwnLw
Follow us: @yugiohcardguide on Twitter | YuGiOhCardGuide on Facebook -
I am only 20 and even I can see the immaturity in this post. Date her longer and if you feel you fall more in love with her, then sacrifice and be with her, don't pass it up because you might not get another chance, bud. I don't date anyone because I know all the women are not worth my time and only a select few are, take my advice and be with her, don't pass it up.
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Sorry for a negative response, but if you have to ask on a message board then you're probably not ready for this relationship. So just keep doing what you're doing.
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billy777777111 wrote:
I am only 20 and even I can see the immaturity in this post. Date her longer and if you feel you fall more in love with her, then sacrifice and be with her, don't pass it up because you might not get another chance, bud. I don't date anyone because I know all the women are not worth my time and only a select few are, take my advice and be with her, don't pass it up.
OP is 'in love.'. Probably for the first time and it won't end well because of projecting mommy onto the girl.
I love these threads. -
Pop_pop!_v2.1 wrote:
billy777777111 wrote:
I am only 20 and even I can see the immaturity in this post. Date her longer and if you feel you fall more in love with her, then sacrifice and be with her, don't pass it up because you might not get another chance, bud. I don't date anyone because I know all the women are not worth my time and only a select few are, take my advice and be with her, don't pass it up.
OP is 'in love.'. Probably for the first time and it won't end well because of projecting mommy onto the girl.
I love these threads.
Sad, just sad. We can only hope for the best..... -
Let her know how you feel, and just play it by ear for awhile.
It's a matter of choices.
Go ahead and do some of those things for awhile, see how they work out for you, and if they don't then backtrack and/or try something else.
Sometimes you think some way is better but then try it and it turns out to not be all that you'd hoped for, and you realize what you had or have somewhere else is much better. By trying things out, this gives you a better vision for truth and reality.
