Decent looking guy interviewing for roommates. Best candidate is a super hot female. Thoughts?

TAA wrote:

a real outdoorsman wrote:

That's basically what I gathered, which is why I stopped posting.

^ OP talking to himself

^ This

a real outdoorsman wrote:

His reasoning was based on incorrect assumptions and an inaccurate understanding of me. I merely pointed these things out and then expressed my opinion that he sounds unconfident and unskilled around women. If you or he finds that so cutting, it only further reveals your insecurity and lack of confidence.

Your reading comprehension is quite poor, and your logic that reading books indicates weenieness confirms you're a dolt. You would be better off not posting at all.

I'd rather be a jerk than an idiot.

Grow up ::: wrote:

There sure are a lot of insecure retards on this thread.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am not the OP, and those thinking so proves my point.

Read more:

a real outdoorsman wrote:

Since you gave me a genuine and thoughtful response, viva, I will respond to you.

........

Right now I'm leaning heavily towards rooming with her as my other options aren't so great right now. If I do end up living with her, you'll almost surely hear about it as I frequently post on here about all aspects of my life.

I've lived with about half dozen women over the years, some that definitely were physically attractive. I had sex with one, we were young, both a little desperate and it was a short-term situation. I don't regret it, because it seemed alright at the time and I learned some things, but I am very hesitant to ever do it again. Actually, I'm done living with women unless we are in a serious, long-term relationship.

I've met a number of guys that view women they live with as potential sexual partners. I once was that guy myself. Now we all would like some fantasy scenario in which we live with some hot woman and bang every now and then for pleasure. The reality is that this scenario is rarely free and easy for the average Joe. Think about it from the woman's viewpoint. If she is attractive, men are hitting on her, approaching her, offering her little favors, creeping her out all the time. The last thing that she needs is a guy that will do that same thing at home, because that will bring in an extra element of weirdness to her life.

In fact, she probably is interested in living with you because she does not feel threatened by you or view you as a potential sexual partner. Yes, women think about sex as much as men, and probably more often and with more intensity than most men. Many of the thoughts we have, they have. But they very easily will put you into the category of "not gonna happen, buddy." Men have to seek, women have to filter. I think women have to be in a bad space emotionally to consider sleeping with a guy they live with, because a confident, attractive woman knows she can easily find guys outside her living arrangement.

You probably know this, considering that you have lived with women before, but the first rule of living with women is don't shit where you eat. Don't push for anything sexual, just get to know each other and be comfortable around each other. You want a home environment that is comfortable and relaxed, not filled with potential tension and emotion. Women do not want to feel creeped out or threatened in the place that they live. Yes, the desires are there, the attraction might be there, but sometimes it's best to not act on them, just like in a work environment. You are better off subjecting yourself to the friendzone rather than creating an uncomfortable living space. There are benefits to knowing a woman on a dispassionate, non-sexual level, such as potential setups with her friends.

It takes at least a few months for a person's true character to reveal themselves. I actually have found that nothing makes me less attracted to a woman than living with her. No matter how attractive they are on the outside, you might learn they are quite ugly on the inside, and their personality only becomes less attractive as time goes on, and you don't actually want to be around this person. This happened with our last female roommate. As cool as they might seem at first, very attractive women live in a completely different reality than most of us, especially the letsrun.com crowd. On the other hand, some women become more attractive as you get to know them, because they reveal themselves to be genuinely kind, loving, interesting, thoughtful people.

Perhaps an attraction beyond physical appearances does develop between the both of you. What you have then is a strong friendship as the basis of a relationship, and that can be very beneficial.

Or just try to bang for pleasure and fun and see how that works. As soon as she comes home with some other guy, try not to be jealous. Don't get too attached, because she probably has five other guys in her phone that she can call at a moment's notice and bang. Good luck.

OP

Are you the president of all LRC posters ?

Wow I feel horrible for this girl, if only she knew what her potential roommate was posting about her.. What's next OP, a live video feed from her shower?

Thanks again for another long, thoughtful response, viva. If everyone were like you, this forum would be a much better place. I think we're on the same page.

I don't intend to hook up with her or flirt at all. One of the reasons things have gone so well with my current female roommate is because we NEVER flirted with one another and really desexualized each other. We never even stand within arm's length of one another because like it or not, humans are animals too, and simple proximity to an attractive member of the opposite sex is often enough to arouse unwanted emotions.

My main motivations for wanting to room with this girl is that we're both busy and likely won't be at the apt at the same time a ton, but we have similar lifestyles and goals, so we can probably talk, do things together here and there, and understand one another. I have found it really beneficial to live with a woman as it opens you up to a lot of things about women you either never thought of or didn't realize before. I'm super openminded and realistic, so things like tampons in the trash and hair in the drain are just part of life for me and not an issue.

"As cool as they might seem at first, very attractive women live in a completely different reality than most of us, especially the letsrun.com crowd. On the other hand, some women become more attractive as you get to know them, because they reveal themselves to be genuinely kind, loving, interesting, thoughtful people."

Couldn't agree more with that, and this is precisely why I almost never pursue highly attractive women and instead go for only moderately attractive ones. Super attractive women tend to be boring and have a totally warped view of life (speaking generally here).

I live in a small college town, and most people want to move in in August. This girl wants to move in in May, which will save me a large chunk of money, and I figure if things aren't working out after 3 months, she can easily find something else and I can easily find some other roommate, so the summer can work as somewhat of a test, though overall I'm not really worried about it.

Thanks again for the responses.

And btw, I have only posted on this thread under this handle. Whether that other guy was genuine or just humoring me is unknown, but it was definitely not me talking to myself.

a real outdoorsman wrote:

Thanks again for another long, thoughtful response, viva. If everyone were like you, this forum would be a much better place. I think we're on the same page.

The world and its people are what they are, and we can't do much about it. Accept it for what it is, and you will be happier.

Xenon,

As another (and probably the only other) female currently involved in this thread I have to agree that "a real outdoorsman" oozes Creep.

I think he is mistaking his creepiness for confidence.

Further, when you start a thread asking advice on X vs. Y and every single response says Y while only 1 other poster says X that is not verification you were on the right track. That doesn't mean every one else is an "immature idiot" and the only person agreeing with you is genuine. It just means you got it wrong.

I think the best thing for you is to room with an older, responsible, MALE. You might learn a thing or 2 about respecting the way you think and talk about women and gain some real confidence.

Ann

+1

My wife was reading through this thread yesterday. I lost count of how many times she said "what a di.ck"

OP needs to get a clue. There is a clear inverse relationship between how much he thinks he is great around/with women and how much he actually knows.

that is one heck of a creep wrote:

Xenon,

As another (and probably the only other) female currently involved in this thread I have to agree that "a real outdoorsman" oozes Creep.

I think he is mistaking his creepiness for confidence.

Further, when you start a thread asking advice on X vs. Y and every single response says Y while only 1 other poster says X that is not verification you were on the right track. That doesn't mean every one else is an "immature idiot" and the only person agreeing with you is genuine. It just means you got it wrong.

I think the best thing for you is to room with an older, responsible, MALE. You might learn a thing or 2 about respecting the way you think and talk about women and gain some real confidence.

Ann

QFE.

OP is much more normal/likeable when he's responding to vivalarepublica's thoughts. He seemed impervious to the suggestion that insulting a person who was trying to give him honest input with which he disagreed set off some alarm bells, as did the way he talked about the "female." Doesn't seem like a hopeless case though.

OP definitely has some things to learn. But the creep label gets thrown around too easily these days. At least he's being honest about his attraction, rather than hatching some bathroom cam plan.

Bottom line is don't view your roommates as potential sexual partners. Have confidence in your ability to meet people outside your living situation.

I agree with your post he isn't a hopeless case and he did learn and changed the tone of his later posts. Here's the Condrum analysis:

(1) Let's first deal with the "creep" label that has been used. I agree with Ann and Xeno to some extent. When the OP referred to his potential roommate as a "young smokin hot girl" I had to wonder how much older would a guy be that would prompt him to refer to a female as a young girl (eight years)? That reference did feel a bit "creepy". (OP you can understand that right?)

(2) The OP seems like a sensitive guy who has a hard time with criticism. When you so vituperously attacked that one poster you lost many of the other posters and they were became a bit too harsh with you.

(3) You are sensitive and you really appreciated the more supportive comments from Vivalarepublica. Its like you wanted some affirmation. You also spent time trying to redeem your image on this thread. Like you really cared what people thought. I am sure you were botherede by Xenon and Ann's posts.

(4) The tone of posts did improve so maybe there is hope or maybe you are just learning to hide it better. I just hope you are not a 30 yr. old talking about a 21 yr. old college girl (that would be creepy).

that is one heck of a creep wrote:

As another (and probably the only other) female currently involved in this thread I have to agree that "a real outdoorsman" oozes Creep.