I live and feel middle class yet am technically a millionaire

The majority of the world would kill to have the kind of wealth that you have.

Anyways, a good life doesn't have to involve living extravagantly, that's just what pop culture wants you to think.

And happiness is summarized in three words: Coors Banquet Beer.

You're welcome.

Hi Dad,(I know you aren't my dad, but you do sound like him)

First off congrats on being a millionaire, I know you saved your butt off while trying provide a good life to mom and us. A lot of times we went without. I remember being made fun of for; my clothes, my parents driving a 15 year old car, and our house was falling apart, but you got to retire early. You proved you could save your way to wealth.

Times have changed. Technology, education, a global market, and cost. As you know I am getting married in a few weeks. When I told you the cost ($38,000) you flipped out like you were going to pay the bill. The average wedding in my city is $36,500 (CNN Money) and we are having a nicer then average wedding. We wheeled and dealed to get the price this low. Get over it.

I now compete with the world for my job, not just a city or the USA. I have counter parts in Europe, Asia, and South America. They speak 3-6 languages, have IQs north of 140, work 60+ hours a week, and most have PHds. They only make what I make at 30 years old. (This is not bragging. I'm explaining good jobs have major competition now)

I am not wealthy either. I am 30, own a $400k town home, pay all my bills, have no debt (other then house), have a household income north of $170k and save where we can. I cannot save my way to wealth, those days are done. Pensions died with your generation. I have to invest my way to wealth and the stock market isn't going to cut it alone.

I am not going to live in a broken down house, have a broken down car, or have a phone that works half the time just to save a few dollars. I'd rather have a great life for the first 60 years of my life then an average one. I will spend money and take risks.

With all that being said, thank you for teaching me how to work hard, how to go after my goals, but most of all thanks for a great first 21 years of my life.

As a 30 y.o, living in Denver with a well paying job in the finance industry I can relate to this! My wife and I save consistently,but take risks along the way and enjoy having two new leased cars and a new house while making around 150k combined. I don't get why you can't save and have nice things... We typically save around 10-20% of our annual income depending on what unexpected expenses pop up over the year. Obviously most of you guys grew up with your parents coming out of the great depression and other tough times so maybe that is why you feel guilty spending money.

I hate old people... wrote:

I am not going to live in a broken down house, have a broken down car, or have a phone that works half the time just to save a few dollars. I'd rather have a great life for the first 60 years of my life then an average one. I will spend money and take risks.

This might actually be a decent philosophy than living conservatively until you have nearly no time left to live.

If you were my son, I'd be proud. You are right, things are much different today. To live smartly is not to live in a broken down house or broken down car. My first house and first cars did need work but I didn't suffer. But you seem to be doing OK. Many buy stuff with a credit card with losing rates placing themselves deeper in a hole. That's not you.

(But really you are spending way to much on your wedding, and I'm guessing I don't need to tell you that. But you can't help it, there are subtle peer social pressures about making your "special day" memorable that have influenced you greatly. As long as you have decided on spending it, make sure you enjoy it)

runnerwhoprofesses wrote:

Blame capitalism, not Obama--a conservative Dem.

OP, at 62, I'm in your shoes. Travel light. That's what the 1960s taught us.

Conservative Dem? My grandfather was one. He may have been the last one.

Congratulations

You do have a debit burden even without a mortgage, your yearly real estate tax insurance maintenances etc on the property, personal insurances and other reoccurring obligations are debit.

kmaclam wrote:

Not spending $15000 on a wedding.

Hahahahahaha! Did you miss a 0? A $15,000 wedding is very, very cheap these days. A quick google search shows that the average wedding costs twice that amount. Also - a phone that is 2 years old is not serviceable. The type of spending you are describing is for total dirtbags.

162430 wrote:

kmaclam wrote:

Not spending $15000 on a wedding.

Hahahahahaha! Did you miss a 0? A $15,000 wedding is very, very cheap these days. A quick google search shows that the average wedding costs twice that amount. Also - a phone that is 2 years old is not serviceable. The type of spending you are describing is for total dirtbags.

Most peer pressure to spend is subtle, this is a good example of overt pressure with a good measure of ridicule piled on.

Young adults today often buy things on credit (credit cards) with high rates that are killing them. Many went to colleges that were too expensive and they spent too much when they were in college. Current phone plans are further draining them. Most are in a deep financial hole.

Then when they want to live a more prudent life style they risk being thought of, as you so elegantly put it, "dirtbags". (I bet kmaclam didn't even ride a limo to his prom, in your world that would be DB?)

PS my last cell phone, I had for about 5 years, replaced it when it wouldn't work anymore.......and I'm a millionaire.

john beresford tipton jr wrote:

Congratulations

You do have a debit burden even without a mortgage, your yearly real estate tax insurance maintenances etc on the property, personal insurances and other reoccurring obligations are debit.

I have a monthly cost to get my hair cut, do you consider that part of my, as you put it, my "debit burden"? I purchase insurance, and pay taxes and have other regular costs but I don't consider them a debit burden. I pay them when I purchase them or when they are due. I pay no debt interest.

Wife and I spent about $750 on our wedding. Just her and I, and the guy marrying us at the base of cathedral rock in Sedona AZ.

oh please wrote:

Wife and I spent about $750 on our wedding. Just her and I, and the guy marrying us at the base of cathedral rock in Sedona AZ.

Isn't it nice when you can cherish the most special moments in life with the people and relationships you've gained along the way? Nothing says "live life in the now" like having a clandestine wedding and secluding yourself from society.

Why do people spend so much for a wedding? I get wanting to have a good and memorable time, but $40,000? For a presumably young couple that doesn't have a lot of money. Just seems insane to me.

crete wrote:

Do you guys realize that $1m today is not the same thing as $1m 60 years ago?

Say it ain't so.

I really wish Dad taught you the difference between 'then' and than.'

We spent like $8k on a very nice wedding a few years ago. Here is how we saved:

- We had a high school kid from the photo club do our photos. $150 and they are great, though we never look at them anyway. Saved a couple thousand on that alone.

- Found cheap DJ on craigslist.

- Got married on a Sunday afternoon, catering was cheaper as was facility rental -- it was a NICE place, too, with good food. Would have been about $5k more to do it on a Saturday night, for example.

- Judge married us for cheap.

- We did not pay for booze. no one in our immediate family drinks and we weren't going to pay for cousins to get drunk. Saved a ton.

- We had a friend in the letterpress biz do our invites, she did them for free. Big savings.

I got married at age 38 and could have spent more. Just didn't want to.

"Should there be something I should do with my money, that I am not doing."

If you are truly enjoying life, then you know the answer.

If you have ever said, "oh, I'd like to go there or do this, or experience that," then spend some extra $$$ and see if there is additional enjoyment to be had.

FWIW, I am 63. Retired. Divorced. Sold house. No debt. Invested well. Pay off credit cards every month. 2 kids still in college. Child of depression era parents (I do believe this had an influence on how I spend money). Having more fun than ever. For me, my "awakening" came at age 55: "jesus, I have maybe 30 more years?"

TAA wrote:

Why do people spend so much for a wedding? I get wanting to have a good and memorable time, but $40,000? For a presumably young couple that doesn't have a lot of money. Just seems insane to me.

Remember at none white weddings you get a return on your investment.

On my $38k wedding we are expecting to get $30k back. Net loss of $8k.

technically a millionaire wrote:

Should there be something I should do with my money, that I am not doing.

You could spend it. That's what it's for.

It seems like you don't like spending so you could be a billionaire and live the same way.

I guess you are saving your money for medical bills, nursing home or to be passed on for someone else to spend when you die.

Fun stuff!

If most of your equity is in your home or other non liquid assets then you can spend it without selling it and I wouldn't sell anything.

So that kind of worth is useless unless you borrow against it for cash.

You may live middle class but you shouldn't feel middle class because you have or can get anything you want.

That's rich.

Middle class is doing OK but not being able to attain everything you would like.