Have you tried talking to the coach and telling him how you and your daughter feel? Give him a chance before you blind side him with a meeting with the AD or principal.
Have you tried talking to the coach and telling him how you and your daughter feel? Give him a chance before you blind side him with a meeting with the AD or principal.
grown up wrote:
Have you tried talking to the coach and telling him how you and your daughter feel? Give him a chance before you blind side him with a meeting with the AD or principal.
I wouldn't. I see nothing good coming out of this tct.
I'd have already met with the Principal...not anyone else...as he or she is most likely the single person in charge of hiring/firing and discipline. Lay out your reasons for the feeling. The Principal should meet with the coach afterwards and you should remain in anonymity.
If you wish to transfer, you may be able to get a waiver of the transfer requirements. In a nefarious sense, a lot of school districts don't like these types of complaints to become public and the district may feel letting you transfer would keep things quiet.
Yes, go to the Principal and express your concerns. Tell the Principal if the coach's behavior continues you will go to the police. That will stop him from just telling you what you want to hear and then just doing nothing. The last thing schools want is a coach molester being made public. Doing this will prevent the NEXT person from possibly being molested. If you just quietly leave with the coach in place then it's the Sandusky situation all over again. Transferring is another can of worms. You would have to get some kind of exception if that's possible. The rule is probably in place to prevent schools from importing ringers to play on their, say, football team.
The one year sitting out is well known. It's a rule that was put in place for whiners who want to have more playing time in basketball, and transfer to a school with a weaker team, and then the spoiled brat gets his playing time.
Your daughter seems to have a unique situation, and would require some witnesses or proof. The A.D. can squash the whole thing if he/she rights a letter permitting the transfer without the required sitting out.
Unfortunately, threatening a lawsuit might be an option.
Has the father said what creepy things the coach had done? Not saying what the coach has done is appropriate but I'd like to know what he did. People are calling him a molester on this thread but I don't think the father thinks he has gone close to that far.
Once again, not saying he is a good guy or what he is doing is right but trying to figure out what the coach did to be creepy.
Transfer Just For Running? wrote:
By the way, what do you mean by him being super creepy? Not doubting but just wanted perspective.
this. you are posting anonymously, so why be vague?
WTF? Which coach isn't a creep? It goes with the territory. Adults who spend time with children are all creepy wankers!
You asked for it, hermano wrote:
WTF? Which coach isn't a creep? It goes with the territory. Adults who spend time with children are all creepy wankers!
You sir, are an idiot.
Assuming she is a minor, her "she said" should carry more weight.
Go speak to the principal, and if legal in your state, go in with a micro recorder and record things so you are on record. Also get him to sign a letter acknowledging the complaint and meeting.
If what you say is true, the guy should be canned.
Good luck.
Steve on a cell in Brooklyn wrote:
[quote]grown up wrote:
Have you tried talking to the coach and telling him how you and your daughter feel? Give him a chance before you blind side him with a meeting with the AD or principal.
I wouldn't. I see nothing good coming out of this tct.
/quote]
That's a really crappy thing to do. The coach might not even actually be being creepy or know that the OP thinks so, but the OP is willing to risk his job and reputation.
Stop all of this sneaky stuff and communicate your concerns and feelings like a reasonable person. If that doesn't work, then go to the principal or whatever authority.
RapeAvoidanceIsSmart wrote:
My daughters high school coach is super creepy. And, while we feel he has been inappropriate, we don't have anything that can't be reduced to a "He said, she said". We don't want drama - we just want out. At the same time, though, there is a school rule that says that transfers require that an athlete not run on varsity for a year. This would also be horrible. What should we do? What are valid reasons to get a transfer to be approved?
If the situation is as you describe, the decision is easy and you shouldn't need any advice from us. My advice would be to temporarily forget about running, take immediate action on behalf of your daughter and the other kids. But, I sense you are not 100% certain about the situation and that's why you are asking advice from us. Btw, teenage girls are not angels, do some investigating and if all you can determine is your daughter is uncomfortable, quietly act on just your daughter's behalf by simply taking her off of the team. But, before you destroy this man's life, make sure you have more to go on than the fact that your daughter thinks her coach is super creepy.
Bad Wigins wrote:
Transfer Just For Running? wrote:By the way, what do you mean by him being super creepy? Not doubting but just wanted perspective.
this. you are posting anonymously, so why be vague?
Because even allegations on a message board are actionable in terms of a teacher's contract.
While I think there is nothing to decide, the kid should be moving on, there is a legitimate need to document the creepiness on the way out the door, probably leaving it with the principle and keeping a copy. Carefully.
pop_pop! wrote:
Bad Wigins wrote:this. you are posting anonymously, so why be vague?
Because even allegations on a message board are actionable in terms of a teacher's contract.
Oh, that's rich. Accuse the guy of some unspecified behavior, causing wild speculation about heinous crimes, to protect him?
OP is obviously a troll anyhow. Nobody with an issue like this would post about it on this forum.
The answer is don't transfer. Just have your daughter never be alone with the coach. He asks to speak with her she has the right to have a friend present with her or request you be there.
Teach your daughter that you just don't run from your problems and to stand up for herself.
This is the most alarmist and ridiculous thread I have seen on LR in many a moon. What has the coach "done" praytell? What are you concerned with exactly?
As of yet, we are talking about nothing.
I have been in this exact situation. I can't understand why parents are willing to sacrifice their kids' well being for the "right" to be a part of a terrible, dangerous situation. Easy answer is quit the team if the school, apart from the coach, is a tolerable place. That is what we did along with a few others. You could also transfer and just eat the year if there is a decent school you could transfer to.
Never, ever, put your child in harm's way for the sake of swimming with the lemmings. Where there is smoke there is fire. If you think this coach is creepy, guaranteed he has done something bad and people are just too afraid of retribution to do anything about it.
Why have her leave the school entirely just because you don't like the track coach? Seems like a major life change to make over one negative aspect of her current situation. Why not leave her in the school and have her run for a club team? If the coach is really that bad, her teammates will probably join her.
And if you do insist on having her switch schools, couldn't you just enroll her in a private school that doesn't have the transfer rule you mention?
getoutfast wrote:
Never, ever, put your child in harm's way for the sake of swimming with the lemmings. Where there is smoke there is fire. If you think this coach is creepy, guaranteed he has done something bad and people are just too afraid of retribution to do anything about it.
You are a crazy irrational idiot. People who believe this 'where there is smoke there's fire' idea are dumb. Just because someone thinks someone is creepy doesn't mean that it is guaranteeable that they've done something bad. Especially when it is a high school girl. They think everything is "creepy".
take you away wrote:
getoutfast wrote:Never, ever, put your child in harm's way for the sake of swimming with the lemmings. Where there is smoke there is fire. If you think this coach is creepy, guaranteed he has done something bad and people are just too afraid of retribution to do anything about it.
You are a crazy irrational idiot. People who believe this 'where there is smoke there's fire' idea are dumb. Just because someone thinks someone is creepy doesn't mean that it is guaranteeable that they've done something bad. Especially when it is a high school girl. They think everything is "creepy".
I have the distinct sense that 'getoutfast' is a child molester.
Hah!
I know you were looking for some straightforward info on the transfer rule but when you come to Letsrun you get: