lolwut wrote:
that explains the wrote:abundance of clueless posters
I probably should have clarified that I've only used one here.
doesn't explain it
lolwut wrote:
that explains the wrote:abundance of clueless posters
I probably should have clarified that I've only used one here.
doesn't explain it
well than that wrote:
lolwut wrote:I probably should have clarified that I've only used one here.
doesn't explain it
I've only used one name here. On this thread. Better?
lolwut. wrote:
I've only used one name here. On this thread. Better?
did but not the abundance of clueless posters
Don't know if this thread is still on subject. Dad needs to be on his daughter's side on this 100%. 99% of HS coaches are batshi3536t freaks of nature that have no business coaching distance..let alone being around our kids at all.
plan and If talking to principal or school board will not shut these coaches down, then you just play these coaches, use your head and think. Get her to state, get a private coach on the side, you go to all training! Your aloud as a parent to be standing real close as intervals are run, listening to coaches interaction with your child. Only thing on earth that is important is your daughter, her training, her emotional well being. I know exactly the nut ball type coaches and what they are doing, think man think.
hangtugh!!! wrote:
Don't know if this thread is still on subject. Dad needs to be on his daughter's side on this 100%. 99% of HS coaches are batshi3536t freaks of nature that have no business coaching distance..let alone being around our kids at all.
plan and If talking to principal or school board will not shut these coaches down, then you just play these coaches, use your head and think. Get her to state, get a private coach on the side, you go to all training! Your aloud as a parent to be standing real close as intervals are run, listening to coaches interaction with your child. Only thing on earth that is important is your daughter, her training, her emotional well being. I know exactly the nut ball type coaches and what they are doing, think man think.
0/10
my challenge to trolls.... 200+ posts
10/10
suck it, BITCHES!!!
I made my daughter quit XC for similar reasons. You can't be too careful.
I think you're trolling me. Why would you make her quit?
I guess I can maybe see a possible link /progression from bullying behavior to even more dark/controlling... BUT, it seems to me that if you were keeping an eye on things, you could sense if that were a possibility. Maybe I am wrong.
In our case, even though I don't think highly of the coaches (obviously), I REALLY don't see ANY chance whatsoever of physical abuse happening. And, even if it were attempted, that would be the extent of it.
The more "real" risks of coaches who act passive aggressively and unstably (in my opinion) is that it could cause:
A) the athletes to doubt themselves if they buy into some brow-beating comments,
B) the athletes to doubt the training (and then their performance), if the athlete doesn't have confidence in the coach,
c) the athletes to consider quitting if/when they don't want to put up with it anymore.
Risk C was the largest risk throughout most of the season. My daughter is involved in enough so that if she walked away from competing, I don't think she would step back in until after college (and even then "seeing what you can do" is NOT the same). Fortunately, I think she is beyond that now and is prepared to just deal with these goons for a couple of more years if she has to. The purpose of the thread was to combat risk B. She is MUCH better off now than last track season in this regard, and I think that she'll continue to get better at dismissing any comments that are not deserving of a moment's consideration. But, right now, with a week before the state, and with the likelihood of the coaches stepping up their game because of a greater chance of them being alone with daughter, I think that even though my daughter will not show that anything bothers her, a seed of doubt could still be planted. That's what I most want to avoid right now. A challenge with that is that if we keep her from practices or try to drive her to the state meet to mitigate this, it may stir something up with the coaches. I feel that I could even ask in a pleasant way, "Hey, would you like us to drive daughter to the meet - we can follow right behind you.", and even though I would think they would pretty much prefer that (since they don't really talk or get along or whatever), I think there is a chance that they would make some issue of that. That would be incredibly unlikely for any reasonable people - key word being reasonable! My wife has suggested just going to meet separately, regardless... not asking, just doing it. I think that has risks, too.
Finally, in the longer term, if things aren't resolved and there is a "cold war" for 3 years, Risk B would start to take the forefront. But, I think we can work around that. The coaches could call me in again, threaten to kick her off the team because they don't think she's running the school workouts hard enough. But, I would claim that I know she trains hard and that perhaps she is more of a good racer than good trainer (everyone has seen those), and then I think they would have a hard time carrying through with kicking her off (though she would have to be careful to not do anything else that they could make an issue). This is where they best boy on the team is at, and this is what he does masterfully. He doesn't need their encouragement (and they only talk well of him in front of other parents since he is pretty good and way ahead of all the others). He shows up and does what the coaches ask of the team and even still leads the workouts, but his "real" work is on his own. As an aside, I wonder if his running in the front pack helps or hurts the team. On the one hand, it may boost the younger runners' confidence. On the other hand, maybe they should see him getting more than 200 meters ahead on them on mile repeats. On the boys team, the coaches are losing control a bit... the boys don't feel as intimidated, they just lack confidence that the coaches know what they are doing. I think next fall will be key for the coach on the boys side.
uber wrote:
I think you're trolling me. Why would you make her quit?
I guess I can maybe see a possible link /progression from bullying behavior to even more dark/controlling... BUT, it seems to me that if you were keeping an eye on things, you could sense if that were a possibility. Maybe I am wrong.
In our case, even though I don't think highly of the coaches (obviously), I REALLY don't see ANY chance whatsoever of physical abuse happening. And, even if it were attempted, that would be the extent of it.
The more "real" risks of coaches who act passive aggressively and unstably (in my opinion) is that it could cause:
A) the athletes to doubt themselves if they buy into some brow-beating comments,
B) the athletes to doubt the training (and then their performance), if the athlete doesn't have confidence in the coach,
c) the athletes to consider quitting if/when they don't want to put up with it anymore.
Risk C was the largest risk throughout most of the season. My daughter is involved in enough so that if she walked away from competing, I don't think she would step back in until after college (and even then "seeing what you can do" is NOT the same). Fortunately, I think she is beyond that now and is prepared to just deal with these goons for a couple of more years if she has to. The purpose of the thread was to combat risk B. She is MUCH better off now than last track season in this regard, and I think that she'll continue to get better at dismissing any comments that are not deserving of a moment's consideration. But, right now, with a week before the state, and with the likelihood of the coaches stepping up their game because of a greater chance of them being alone with daughter, I think that even though my daughter will not show that anything bothers her, a seed of doubt could still be planted. That's what I most want to avoid right now. A challenge with that is that if we keep her from practices or try to drive her to the state meet to mitigate this, it may stir something up with the coaches. I feel that I could even ask in a pleasant way, "Hey, would you like us to drive daughter to the meet - we can follow right behind you.", and even though I would think they would pretty much prefer that (since they don't really talk or get along or whatever), I think there is a chance that they would make some issue of that. That would be incredibly unlikely for any reasonable people - key word being reasonable! My wife has suggested just going to meet separately, regardless... not asking, just doing it. I think that has risks, too.
Finally, in the longer term, if things aren't resolved and there is a "cold war" for 3 years, Risk B would start to take the forefront. But, I think we can work around that. The coaches could call me in again, threaten to kick her off the team because they don't think she's running the school workouts hard enough. But, I would claim that I know she trains hard and that perhaps she is more of a good racer than good trainer (everyone has seen those), and then I think they would have a hard time carrying through with kicking her off (though she would have to be careful to not do anything else that they could make an issue). This is where they best boy on the team is at, and this is what he does masterfully. He doesn't need their encouragement (and they only talk well of him in front of other parents since he is pretty good and way ahead of all the others). He shows up and does what the coaches ask of the team and even still leads the workouts, but his "real" work is on his own. As an aside, I wonder if his running in the front pack helps or hurts the team. On the one hand, it may boost the younger runners' confidence. On the other hand, maybe they should see him getting more than 200 meters ahead on them on mile repeats. On the boys team, the coaches are losing control a bit... the boys don't feel as intimidated, they just lack confidence that the coaches know what they are doing. I think next fall will be key for the coach on the boys side.
God damn ur overthinking this, just let her go and get raped or sexually assaulted...
uber wrote:
I feel that I could even ask in a pleasant way, "Hey, would you like us to drive daughter to the meet - we can follow right behind you.", and even though I would think they would pretty much prefer that (since they don't really talk or get along or whatever), I think there is a chance that they would make some issue of that. That would be incredibly unlikely for any reasonable people - key word being reasonable! My wife has suggested just going to meet separately, regardless... not asking, just doing it. I think that has risks, too.
You worry too much, and should listen to your wife.
uber wrote: I hate HATE bringing up on LR that my wife and I were AA back in the day, but I do want to convey that maybe we have an idea of what it is like to run on a team,
Well, it didn't really help your argument, so it's odd that you 'HATE' it so much.
uber wrote:
my challenge to trolls.... 200+ posts
10/10
suck it, BITCHES!!!
You got anti-trolled a while before this post, so there is that.
Let me guess Uber, she failed to qualify because the coaches coached her too much this week. Am I right?
No, sorry, you're incorrect. She ran as well as anticipated and is going on. The coaches were pretty good! The head coach completely ignored her, while the other gave her a high five. We'll absolutely take that (if not prefer it). They may be starting to figure that their efforts to get her to quit are failing. Those are some quality typical high school coaches!
Thanks again for all the good responses on the thread. It has been helpful to think through.
Let me get this straight...your head coach wants a state qualifier to quit so that his team will suck and make everyone will think that he is a good coach?
My daughter can be a whiney, intollerable snot but her coach would probably do her homework for her before he let her quit. If he were to suddenly ask her to leave the team I would have to think something were up. Don't get me wrong. It would be the coaches fault. But I would have to bet she did something.
BTW, trolls who post about daughters they don't have are just one small step from posting the claim that they ARE the daughter. There is just something unnatural about that.