Jesus, man up and talk to him.
Wanting to win varsity and JV is bad? 6/7 runners running up front instead of the back messed with their heads?
Not talking to your daughter is wrong. Are you SURE he doesn't say a word to his #1 runner? Sorry but that's hard to believe. If he wants to win (and by you account he does) I just don't see that happening.
If this is real, show your daughter what is means to be an adult and talk to him privately. Without your daughter. Do so humbly asking for help rather than attacking.
As for asking not to coach before state... Really?
As for the drive, that would be expected. Caravan following them to the meet. As a coach I would have no problem if an individual rode with their parents.