Asked to be the best man for a wedding I don't agree with. Best way to handle this situation?

Speeches R Us wrote:

Speeches are easy.

3) Tell some lame story that is supposed to be funny about your great times in some frat (equivalent lame story setting will work fine)

Your welcome

No. It is not a roast. The speech should be about the couple. Fake it and keep it short if you can't think of anything.

This is easy.

Just put the moves on his fiancee and get her in bed and make sure you get caught by him.

He's either going to call the wedding off or kick you out of being the best man.

Either way, you're out of this situation.

During my nephews wedding, his big brother stood up in front of everyone and started off by saying that it was his first speech and the biggest question he had was how long the toast was supposed to be. He said someone told him it should be as long as the groom would last in bed on the wedding night, so my nephew looked at his watch and sat down. Everyone laughed their asses off, even the brides parents.

genuine random a hole wrote:

Speeches R Us wrote:

Speeches are easy.

3) Tell some lame story that is supposed to be funny about your great times in some frat (equivalent lame story setting will work fine)

Your welcome

No. It is not a roast. The speech should be about the couple. Fake it and keep it short if you can't think of anything.

For the speech just pull a random post or multiple posts off this thread and repeat.

Be a friend and do what it takes to make him happy.

It's his wedding. This may come as a shock, but it's not about you.

To your own self be true, and be true to your friends. Talk with him and tell him the truth. If he's your friend, he still will be after that, or if not, then better the loss.

I would have an amicable chat with him, then if he wishes to proceed, go ahead and be the best man. If and when any issues occur after that, he will know he can talk with you, or you might decide to stay way from both of them.

Sometimes spouses morph into their spouses.

like wow... wrote:

During my nephews wedding, his big brother stood up in front of everyone and started off by saying that it was his first speech and the biggest question he had was how long the toast was supposed to be. He said someone told him it should be as long as the groom would last in bed on the wedding night, so my nephew looked at his watch and sat down. Everyone laughed their asses off, even the brides parents.

Overall, how would you rate the local VFW as a reception party venue?

Ha! I have been to dozens of receptions at VFW's. This however, was not one of them. It was at a church reception hall.

OP we need an update, did you talk to your friend???

Northwest Runner wrote:

Oaklandia wrote:

So is this a gay wedding?

No. I don't know if listing my reasons for disagreeing with the wedding is all that important in regards to my question about handling the situation with my friend. But for those who must know, I do not think the wedding is a good idea because his fiancee is emotionally abusive, has cheated on him at least 5 times, and has a mountain of debt. Those are the three big things.

He's the one getting married. Not you. Be the friend he believes you to be and be his best man and lead by example.

Gotta talk to him. Your friendship won't survive anyway if he marries her and you are the goto guy to complain about her - and he WILL. If she senses that you don't like her, she'll cut you out and he won't really be able to hang out with you anymore without ruining his marriage. That is not a slam on him or her, just a fact of marriage. Seems like your ONLY chance at remaining his friend is talk him out of the marriage. It will be better for both of you because you'll either speed up the inevitable (losing a friend), or you'll save him from catastrophic life failure.

Just tell the person straight up. Simple as that. I can't be in the wedding because I object to it. Honesty is the best policy.

He asked you to be his best man. Does he have any other friends? Honest question, the guy may not have many other friends, but for whatever reason he considers you to be his best man. Turning him down on this could be more crushing than the future divorce. At least after any future seperation he will still know he has you as a friend. Just do it for him. You have already done something right in life if another person has considered you to be their closest friend, so keep supporting him.

Drink, drink drink then

Speech

"I stand up today to celebrate Buddy and Harlot. Their's is a special love. When Harlot slept with Bobby over there we thought Buddy would bolt but their love endured. When Harlot got caught in the men's room at the 7/11, showing Mike a special way to enjoy a slushee, we thought Buddy would bolt but he forgave. When Harlot, her Dalmatian, and Buddy's step-brother accidently emailed their sex tape to all our friends, we thought for sure Buddy would not stick around but their love seemed to grow. When Buddy found out that she had put the cable bill in his name and stopped making payments, we all said " c'mon dude" but their love endured. When Harlot slashed Buddy' tires, he stayed. And when Harlot and the preacher were caught in the confessional this morning we thought for sure he would back out but he went through we it. If Harlot can stop yelling at Buddy for a moment, I will say "to Buddy and Harlot".

I have a friend who married a girl who is an exercise bulimic. (i.e. she exercises 5 hours a day to keep "control" of things - or so she thinks).

I was not the best man, but have known him since we were 6 and have been close since age 14 when we ran together. I talked to him about his fiancee's problem before they got married and after.

Now, I did not "disapprove" of their wedding. She is a wonderful girl and wonderful to put up with him, and they have been married now for 12 years.

She still exercises BEFORE WORK, AT LUNCH, and AFTER WORK for 5 hours a day and she is a doctor and a mother of two. But she does a good job with all of that.

I spoke to him to make sure he knew it was not normal and that it is a mental illness and that he had talked to her. It turned out HE HAD many times and she refused to quit, said "You knew I was this way when you met me." And he decided it was a battle that he could not win and there were worse things in the world to be obsessed about.

Other than Osteoporosis at age 28 and having to take the pill for bone density, she has not had any problems (THAT I KNOW OF) and she is 38.

MY LONG-WINDED POINT is: talk to him in a supportive way. Make sure he knows that she has cheated and is in debt, etc. It may be ugly for a while, he may even retract the best-man invite. But you didn't want to go anyway, so what would be the harm? We both know where this marriage is headed.

If you're at the level of being a best man and haven't talked him out of it already, show up, make a f*cking speech, get drunk, bang some bridesmaid and move on. You disapprove, what is you not going to the wedding do to help your buddy in any way? You've had ample time over the course of your friendship to express that sentiment, if you haven't you suck as a friend and should go as punishment, if you have and he's still getting married well just know you're not him and you're not with them 24/7 so you don't know sh*t.

Should also mention I don't agree with anyone getting married, think its stupid yet I've been in 5 of them. Was slaying beaver like a Canadian fur trader.