Graduated from college. Single. Working. Finding it difficult to find meaning in life.

Great article. Thanks.

runner girl wrote:

Please read this:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/308555/

I went through the same thing after i graduated college. It was not until I took a graduate class that I figured out what I was feeling. Its called identity foreclosure. Its typical of college and professional athletes after their careers have finished. It takes some time to get through it but eventually you will find what you truly love in life.

Identity Foreclosure:

From a psychosocial perspective, the primary task of late adolescence is to establish a sense of personal identity. Individuals who explore a variety of activities and interact with people from different backgrounds are in the best position to learn about themselves and to make informed decisions about various life options. Exploratory behavior not only provides the experiences and information that people need to solidify their values, interests, and skills, but also enables them to develop coping strategies and confidence in their abilities to be successful in adult life. Unfortunately, athletes may be prone to putting too much of their time and energy into sport participation and may not engage in the exploratory behavior that is critical to establishing a sense of self-identity (Brown, Glastetter-Fender, & Shelton, 2000). Athletes who do not engage in exploratory behaviors, but make firm commitments to sport as their primary source of identity, have been described as being in a state of identity foreclosure.

Interesting.

As a younger person much, too much, of my identity was wrapped up in running--as if trying to make a statement or something. I think I found a balance in my 20s, and 30s. I kept running and competing, but that was balanced with academics and career. Thing is, just as I was supposed to be hitting stride in the latter the floor caved in and it took years to crawl out of that mess. What was left was a job at least (not much for the career) and running.

Now I'm middle aged, married, working, quite involved if not overcommitted with mentoring and things, but feel similar to the OP. The ideas like gardening and fishing that were posted hear actually make some sense and have appeal.

projects needed wrote:

I am not complaining or looking for sympathy. I realize I have things pretty good. I am just having a hard time feeling any sort of excitement about life. It doesn't seem like I have anything to really ever look forward to, or anything to feel passionate about. In school, there were always projects, grades, new classes, etc, as well as races and upcoming seasons to look forward to. Now that I've been out of school a while (about 7 months) and have a steady job, it just seems like every day is more or the less the same, that I'm not working towards anything. I'm finding it kind of monotonous. I'd like to change things, but I'm not really sure what to do.

What do you do to keep yourself excited about life? What projects do you give yourself to keep you motivated and engaged?

Lots of great responses here. Not sure that I have much to add. I have encountered this point a few times in my post-collegiate life.

First of all, welcome to the rest of your life. You are not alone in this quest. The world no longer creates meaning for you through structure and concrete goals. Now you have to find that meaning yourself. Or you could jump into one of the pre-made meaning bandwagons, also known as religion.

We measly humans tend to complicate things. When start to find myself getting down because I am spending too much time in an isolated state without the feeling that I am working towards something, I am reminded of the importance of meaningful relationships, spending time with others working together towards a goal, and doing things that benefit others. Doing these things take effort.

Also I remind myself that I am a tiny speck in the universe, just like everybody else. This fact depresses others, but I find it hilarious. It's a motivator to enjoy each day more for me. What's the point of doing anything anymore? I don't know, so I make an effort to appreciate the company of those around me.

AND JUST HAVE A DARN GOOD TIME. WOOOOOO!

Having trouble finding a meaning in life? That's because there isn't one. Life has no inherent meaning, you have to make of it what you will.

A - get a job that you wake up and say "damn i'm excited to go to work today and do X!"orB - if that job doesn't exist, or you need to be more qualified to get it, go back to school since you liked it so much. also, do something outside of work that you enjoy and can set goals (running maybe...? or girlfriend. or carving wood. or coin collecting. just do whatever gets you going!)

projects needed wrote:

I am not complaining or looking for sympathy. I realize I have things pretty good. I am just having a hard time feeling any sort of excitement about life. It doesn't seem like I have anything to really ever look forward to, or anything to feel passionate about. In school, there were always projects, grades, new classes, etc, as well as races and upcoming seasons to look forward to. Now that I've been out of school a while (about 7 months) and have a steady job, it just seems like every day is more or the less the same, that I'm not working towards anything. I'm finding it kind of monotonous. I'd like to change things, but I'm not really sure what to do.

What do you do to keep yourself excited about life? What projects do you give yourself to keep you motivated and engaged?

very good advice.

I have felt that way from time to time, even though I'm married, have kids, a good job, and a house. I've decided life has no real meaning, but what the hell, if I like something, then I like it.

I like gardening. I like making love. Oh, cooking has become enjoyable. Going to Europe. Drinking coffee in the morning. Blueberries on my cereal in the morning. Books on history or true crime. Two or three alcoholic beverages, but not four, and not more than two nights in a row. I like keeping track of running results, but not running myself anymore.

I like when I'm on to something big at work.

Somewhere, some time, it'll come to an end, and after a while, nobody will remember I existed, or really care, but right now, I'm here and would much rather be me than George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Winston Churchill, or anybody else who might have lived big but is gone now.

great ideas!

This means you never really thought it out before you chose to go to college or not or what career path to take. It is not cliche to say that the best job is getting paid to do what you love. However, I have also seen people who take it too far and do what they love but live in financial turmoil and uncertainty. The key is balancing it with reality because at the end of the day, you have to pay your bills. What I have seen are very pragmatic people who find their hobby is not going to earn them a living, so they pick a lucrative career, go at it for a few years and build wealth, retire and spend the rest of their life doing what they love.

I think this thread has the highest amount of great advice and input relative to the number of replies of any thread I've read on here, so thank you all for that. I really appreciate all the genuine advice.

projects needed wrote:

I am not complaining or looking for sympathy. I realize I have things pretty good. I am just having a hard time feeling any sort of excitement about life. It doesn't seem like I have anything to really ever look forward to, or anything to feel passionate about. In school, there were always projects, grades, new classes, etc, as well as races and upcoming seasons to look forward to. Now that I've been out of school a while (about 7 months) and have a steady job, it just seems like every day is more or the less the same, that I'm not working towards anything. I'm finding it kind of monotonous. I'd like to change things, but I'm not really sure what to do.

What do you do to keep yourself excited about life? What projects do you give yourself to keep you motivated and engaged?

Time to wake up. You're not awake. If you were, you'd see that all there is is the present and that it is ever-new. Ever-unique. Your mind creates the monotony, not the moment.

Look at your life, describe it in detail, then ask yourself what you really want. Once you know, then conceive of a vision, then take steps to make it real. Never losing touch with the present. Be creative, it's your birthright. Just wake up. You seem to be on the verge of doing so.

I find travel to be something that really keeps me motivated. Didn't travel as much as a young man (worked all the time). Now 42 and have lots of time and plenty of disposable cash. I travel overseas about every month. It's really changed my life. Good luck..

Welcome to reality.

Reality just IS.

That's it.

*Re: Seeking motivation and engagement...America is being dismantled by the Liberals and their minions. One day, probably when you are being forced to show your Citizenship papers to a 3rd Worlder, you will look back on these days and realize they were the good old days.

Thank, then, the 51% who elected Obama.

If you like running I suggest you try to help coaching a local high school XC team. My team has a lot of assistant coaches that run with us and coach us in the summer and season. You'll get to run with others, get a sense of fulfillment when your pupils succeed, and you might even get payed.

A guy trying to help you out wrote:

If you like running I suggest you try to help coaching a local high school XC team. My team has a lot of assistant coaches that run with us and coach us in the summer and season. You'll get to run with others, get a sense of fulfillment when your pupils succeed, and you might even get payed.

This. I had a bad knee injury and this kept me sane while I was rehabbing. I had a great time and it was very rewarding seeing the kids succeed. Give it a try!

Last night as I slept

I dreamt I met with behan

I shook him by the hand and we passed the time of day

When questioned on his views

On the crux of life's philosophies

He had but these few clear and simple words to say

I am going, I am going

Any which way the wind may be blowing

I am going, I am going

Where streams of whiskey are flowing

I have cursed, bled and sworn

Jumped bail and landed up in jail

Life has often tried to stretch me

But the rope always was slack

And now that I've a pile

I'll go down to the chelsea

I'll walk in on my feet

But I'll leave there on my back

Because I am going, I am going

Any which way the wind may be blowing

I am going, I am going

Where streams of whiskey are flowing

Oh the words that he spoke

Seemed the wisest of philosophies

There's nothing ever gained

By a wet thing called a tear

When the world is too dark

And I need the light inside of me

I'll walk into a bar

And drink fifteen pints of beer

Iam going, I am going

Any which way the wind may be blowing

I am going, I am going

Where streams of whiskey are flowing

I am going, I am going

Any which way the wind may be blowing

I am going, I am going

Where streams of whiskey are flowing

Where streams of whiskey are flowing

Where streams of whiskey are flowing

42