Can I legally sue the parents of the bully at school who's picking on my son?

6-8th Public School Teacher wrote:

As my name implies, I know a thing or two about the process. It's messed up.

It's a BIG thing right now in public education for schools not to do any real disciplining to the students. Mostly for legal reasons, of course. I would totally understand your frustration, because honestly the school that I work at would probably tell a parent the same thing, "We can't do anything unless there's proof".

Here's what I would do, as a parent and public school teacher, meet with the teacher (did you say you already did that?). Ask them what YOUR kid's behavior is like in class. I hate to tell you this, but kids lie. Or kids give themselves a reason to be bullied. I know as a teacher, about 90% of my "bullying incidents" is because kids stick their nose in places where they don't belong, insult or talk to the kids that they shouldn't be talking to. And then, cry, because they are "bullied" when they shouldn't have even been putting themselves in that situation to begin with. What I mean is, YOUR kid sits across from the room from the kid who's bullying him, and HE'S the one who is constantly walking over to the other side of the room to start shit. Trust me, this happens way more than you think. 9 times out of 10, it's kids looking for trouble. I have rarely, rarely, seen incidents where kids are provokingly being bullied, by another kid approaching them and starting shit. It usually goes the other way around.

... Reading your posts however, it does sound like your kid is just being bullied straight-up. If I had a parent come to me and tell me that their kid is being bullied, although I have never seen it, I would like the parent to request me to move my student somewhere else in the room (I'm assuming it's happening with someone sitting beside him). And ask the teacher to keep an extra set of eyes on the kid supposedly doing the bullying.

In summary:

1. Talk to the teacher to find out what your kid's behavior is like in the room. Possibly your kid is the one getting himself in trouble.

2. Ask teacher to move your kid somewhere else in the room and to monitor his behavior, or the supposed bully.

... I don't think any teacher will say no to either of those requests.

I will say though, as a teacher, I've had parents say "My kid is getting bullied" and a lot of times I want to reply: "Your kid is loud-mouth obnoxious dipshit, all the kids hate him. If I were a student, I would bully his ass too."

Not saying this is what's happening in your case, but it wouldn't hurt to find out.

My son wrote:

So I took your advice and called the school. I spoke to an assistant principal or something, and they said I needed proof!?! Really? It's not enough proof that my son comes home crying, and one time he a bruise on his arm??? Seriously. How am I supposed to get proof, and what does proof constitute? Do I send my boy to school with a hidden video camera?

She also said that none of the teachers had reported anything on the particular kid (the bully). Figures. So, do I have any legal options BEFORE I get "proof?" I think it's a little early to be saying I should pull my kid from the school... that would be pretty inconvenient (if even possible) considering the closest elementary school is 4x the distance away from our home and buses to that school don't run in our neighborhood.

I already have the whole van-kidnapper-molester option. How else can I take this into my own hands and just deal with it?

My son wrote:

So I took your advice and called the school. I spoke to an assistant principal or something, and they said I needed proof!?! Really? It's not enough proof that my son comes home crying, and one time he a bruise on his arm??? Seriously. How am I supposed to get proof, and what does proof constitute? Do I send my boy to school with a hidden video camera?

She also said that none of the teachers had reported anything on the particular kid (the bully). Figures. So, do I have any legal options BEFORE I get "proof?" I think it's a little early to be saying I should pull my kid from the school... that would be pretty inconvenient (if even possible) considering the closest elementary school is 4x the distance away from our home and buses to that school don't run in our neighborhood.

I already have the whole van-kidnapper-molester option. How else can I take this into my own hands and just deal with it?

worker b wrote:

heres the deal yo wrote:

well, i hate to say it, but the poster saying teaching him to fight is probably right. when i was little, i was very short but pretty muscular for my age. kids picked on me constantly in my early elementary school days. i got sick of it, so i would constantly tell my teacher everytime someone stole my lunch, punched me, or made fun of me. it just got worse. one day i told the teacher again, and she said that there was nothing she could do, i needed to learn to deal with it myself. so, i took matters into my own hands. i kid came up to me and punched me in the stomach. i beat his ass and pinned him to the ground and pushed his face into the floor. a teacher grabbed me and sent me to the office and i got a phone call home. the next day, the kids friend grabbed me by the throat and tried to choke me, so i kicked him in the stomach, punched him the face, and threw him to the ground too. another kid tried to stop me, so i punched him in the face too. i was sent home, suspended for 1 day from school. but i was never messed with again in school, and i actually ended up having a very positive experience for the rest of my grade school years.

I love this story - I think most people wish they had stood and fought at some point in school. Win or lose.

My son wrote:

My son is in 3rd grade, and he comes home crying most days because there's a kid at school that's always bullying him. My son says he's been physically hit, mocked, called names, and even had things stolen from him (they share art class, and my son loves to paint!). I've always taught my son to be kind to those around him, and he's a pretty sensitive little guy to boot. How can I get rid of this problem? As a parent, it's frustrating when you're kid has a problem that, in my opinion, he shouldn't have to be dealing with at all, much less in 3rd grade, and there's little or nothing you can do about it.

So that's why I'm wondering if I can take legal action against the other child's parents. I have a feeling that the kid's family may be a disfunctional one, as most bully families are.

It just breaks my heart that my son has to suffer through this every day at school. How can I 'deal' with this problem legally? I'd like to sue on the grounds of emotional pain and turmoil or something like that. What sum of money would this likely get me (to send a message to the bully's family, of course.)