Spousal weight gain

This thread comes up every few months and never ceases to amaze me.

Free Beer wrote:

I honestly don't understand why people allow themselves to gain a guge amount of weight. There is literally no reason be any more than 15 pounds heavier than you were when you were 21 and stopped growing. It looks so damn uncomfortable. The woman look even worse with the huge ass making them have to waddle from side to side.

Okay, my first post was a bit of a joke, but this one was written by an ignoramus who doesn't understand how metabolisms change with age.

My wife is 18 pounds heavier, but she started at 103 and she looks good now.

I'm 45 pounds heavier. I'm 6' and 178 lbs. The wife says I look better, but her eyesight isn't so good.

Weight gain is a real issue in America. I think talking about it with her with love, tenderness and concern is the best approach. Make sure that it's a "we" not "your" issue. Do work with her and make sure that she knows you love her and will be with her regardless. But weight is a health issue, and you want to grow old together.

Good luck!

We all love to talk about unconditional love and puppies and beautiful sunsets and all that great stuff. But attraction is a huge part of any relationship. If attraction goes, especially when you are young, the foundation of the relationship is threatened.

The some story has repeated itself countless times. An attractive couple gets married. The woman cuts off her beautiful, long hair and gets fat [As an aside: LADIES ... NO YOU DO NOT LOOK BETTER WITH SHORT HAIR! THERE IS ONLY 1 WOMAN IN THE WORLD WHO IS MORE ATTRACTIVE WITH SHORT HAIR AND IT IS HALLIE BERRY. NO, YOU ARE NOT HALLIE BERRY].

And/Or the man goes bald and gets fat. Our partners don't find us attractive. They look around and find someone else. It doesn't always happen, but if you let yourself go, the odds of failure increase.

I think the key is to be clear about what you want in a lifetime parter while you are still dating. But really it comes down to individual desire. You can't force someone to workout who does not like it very easily. And in general people don't change that much beyond a certain age.

The lesson is choose carefully before you commit.

I think that drastic change in physical appearance is legitimate grounds for divorce. I keep myself in great shape. I expect nothing less from my partner.

My wife uses daily enema therapy (bowel cleansing) to control her weight. It has worked wonders for her - lost 37lbs. You might want to suggest it.

Please tell us you're joking...

Yeah, you're in a no-win situation here.

You're F'ed no matter which way you go.

I think your best bet is to withhold sex.

What most women don't understand or simply don't want to admit, is that it's a package deal; a person is a personality and a body, and if one of those goes down the tubes- they've only themselves to blame if they get traded in for a new model.

ultimately only she can decide that she doesn't want to be overweight- but in the meantime withhold sex.

If she asks why, say it's because you want to be sexually attracted to the woman you are with.

....

then again this method may just bring about a quick divorce!

Dude your wife is 5-7 and 121? Come back when it becomes a chore to have sex when she's 180. Give me a break.

Yes, metabolisms change. Especially with women after 40. I'm 43. I don't eat 3700 calories a day like a did when I was 20. Women have it tougher.

I would have no problem with my wife gaining a huge amount of weight and would love her the same but it's a huge pain in the ass when she starts crying when you can't finish it off because she has become gross and you have to concentrate hard and still nothing.

People don't have to be grossly overweight. They just have to care enough to adjust.

I had this problem. My girlfriend had ceased doing really anything towards her health and fitness. Ok... she rides horses, but obviously that was not that much of a cardiovascular effort. She probably gained 15 to 20 pounds. We ate well, shared meals. I tried suggesting running, walking together. This was in a manner that was in no way inclined towards inferring that she needed to lose wait, but rather that I wanted to spend time with her. To be fair, I train a lot... 100+ miles. So, the last thing I wanted after a morning and evening run with 8 hrs of work in between was to go on a walk.

But despite my reasonable efforts, she did not want to increase her activity level beyond sedentary. The solution was the end of the relationship. (She ended it.) I now date a professional runner.

Problem solved.... now any advice for dating a girl who can be compulsive and batshit crazy sometimes?

Doug Sanders wrote:

[As an aside: LADIES ... NO YOU DO NOT LOOK BETTER WITH SHORT HAIR! THERE IS ONLY 1 WOMAN IN THE WORLD WHO IS MORE ATTRACTIVE WITH SHORT HAIR AND IT IS HALLIE BERRY. NO, YOU ARE NOT HALLIE BERRY].

This is very true. I've never understood the short hair thing.

use ACSM's list of 40 benefits of exercise and highlight the cognitive ones.

Most likely she would never even notice. Some women are like camels in the desert--they can go a long time.

HayamaMan wrote:

Yeah, you're in a no-win situation here.

You're F'ed no matter which way you go.

I think your best bet is to withhold sex.

What most women don't understand or simply don't want to admit, is that it's a package deal; a person is a personality and a body, and if one of those goes down the tubes- they've only themselves to blame if they get traded in for a new model.

ultimately only she can decide that she doesn't want to be overweight- but in the meantime withhold sex.

If she asks why, say it's because you want to be sexually attracted to the woman you are with.

....

then again this method may just bring about a quick divorce!

Tried it wrote:

I now date a professional runner.

Problem solved.... now any advice for dating a girl who can be compulsive and batshit crazy sometimes?

I'm calling you on this one. Your use of the qualifier "sometimes" means she's upper club level at best.

I know, this is my experience, too! Most women with whom I associate keep themselves in incredible shape - it is the men who completely "let themselves go" once they leave college.

Show her the video of the 70 year old woman on the other thread. Both of you should do weight training.

To prevent this problem in the first place, maybe it's best to marry a European or an Asian.

Tried it wrote:.

Problem solved.... now any advice for dating a girl who can be compulsive and batshit crazy sometimes?

LOL! My husband gets "concerned" sometimes when I go on 100-mile week binges so tell him that he has a choice: loving attentive wife with a HUGE ass OR a slim crazy runner girl with compulsive running habits? So he never has any problems with my running.

Just leave this thread up on the computer screen at home.

N0 SLEEP TILL BROOKLYN wrote:

so tell him that he has a choice: loving attentive wife with a HUGE ass OR a slim crazy runner girl with compulsive running habits? So he never has any problems with my running.

^^^translation: boney, anorexic runner girl with compulsive dieting habits.