Married Folks: Doe's Your Spouse Nag You About Running

OP, I realize that it has been 2 years, but in the event that someone else is reading this, here is my advice (from experience):

Buy a BOB and take the kid with you. Good running strollers are not that bad to run with and you actually get a better work out. It is tough at first, but you'll get used to it. FWIW, I still run sub 2:30 for the marathon and train regularly with a DOUBLE BOB, which is a bit trickier but still doable.

My wife ran in college and still gave me hell about running when we had kids. I think a lot of it comes from jealousy, and I mean that in a very empathetic way. Both times, she worked out well into her pregnancy. Basically until a few weeks before birth. The inability to just go run whenever following birth hits pretty hard. Having an infant who needs to be held/fed/loved at all times is stressful on a new mom.

So go buy a good running stroller and take the kid with you. A great way to spend time with your kid while also getting in a run. My 5 year old daughter and I have had some great conversations on long runs.

Mos Def wrote:

Is this Doe the same one from "Deer Adam Goucher"?

I think that was "Deer Shoe Companies" regarding sponsoring Jason Hartman.

We basically agreed that I don't talk about running at home any more. My family asks about my races and we leave it at that.

Frustrated Spouse wrote:

My situation:

Married with a toddler. I work full time and take care of our little one when my wife goes to work. I average an hour and a half a day of running. I got back into running to relieve stress, be healthy(was 50 pounds overweight), and to set a good example for our kid. I never go out with the guys and drink, and rarely hang out with friends. I've told my wife that I would be more then willing to give her time to exercise. She always comes back with "I would like to but it's just not a priority for me." She constantly brings up my running and acts like it's a burden. I'm frustrated and at my wits end.

Reason # 755 that I'll never get married.

I had a girlfriend that did - she may have had a point, as I was driving 3 hours to see her on weekends but still would want to get some mileage in while visiting.

My wife runs and is supportive of my running as well. It sounds like there is something else bothering here, running can't really be that bad to her.

Frustrated Spouse wrote:

My situation:

Married with a toddler. I work full time and take care of our little one when my wife goes to work. I average an hour and a half a day of running. I got back into running to relieve stress, be healthy(was 50 pounds overweight), and to set a good example for our kid. I never go out with the guys and drink, and rarely hang out with friends. I've told my wife that I would be more then willing to give her time to exercise. She always comes back with "I would like to but it's just not a priority for me." She constantly brings up my running and acts like it's a burden. I'm frustrated and at my wits end.

Yes, she nags me to start running 80 miles per week again like I used to.

I can shed a little light on this...since I've been divorced for two years now.

My ex-wife hated my running.

She hated that I was committed to something outside of her and my job. We had no children...so that even wasn't an issue. I'd run at 5:00am and on lunch breaks and be home at 5:30pm every evening for dinner. I gave her a lot of attention, as a husband should. The only time "our time" would be compromised was on Sunday when I'd do a long run which stretched out to 10:30 or 11am at times. Not really a big deal.

She hated the people I ran with and thought they were weirdos when she got around to meeting them. She hated my physique as well, and a look back into her dating history revealed that she dated mostly husky or very out-of-shape men. I remember telling me about an ex who she thought was buff...and once I saw his photo...I had to explain to her that he wasn't even in good shape or all that muscular.

With my body fat hovering around 8% (BOD POD test) she actually felt self conscious when we were in bed together.

I guess I can summarize this by saying that she just didn't get the sport at all, and didn't care to. She had no hobbies (i tried to help her find some) of her own, other than watching TV and Facebook, so she had a lot of time to sit and complain about something I was passionate about. She didn't like me for me, like a wife should do.

She didn't believe in an active lifestyle...but that was just one of our many problems.

I also want to add that I didn't go off and date a fellow runner after my divorce. I actually prefer to date people with interests not similar to my own...just because I want to learn and try new things that are outside the realm of what I usually do. I like to have variety.

I moved my runs from evening (my strong preference) to horribly early so I could be back by the time the family was waking up. What I got was hints of annoyance from my wife when I wanted to be in bed by 10:30 pm.

My husband always nags me about running. He's always like, "Hey hogzilla, why don't you get off your fat @ss and go for a jog!"

what a gem! where did you find this guy?!

NO SLEEP TIL BROOKLYN wrote:

He hates fat chicks, which is a plus.

laker wrote:

Married Folks: Did Your "Ex-Spouse" Nag You About Running?

Ha ha ha yes! But it was more passive aggressive, whining about it behind my back to family and friends (who of course, told me).

Current spouse ran Boston with me last Monday :-)

What your wife is doing is typical of a woman who has a esteem issues with herself. You said u were 50 lbs. overweight. believe it or not your wife probably liked you that way and here is why. What woman would want a guy who is fat and out of shape. But you took responsibility for your health and you now are more sexually appealing to other womae which scares your wife to dealth. You have now improved yourself while she may be less appealing to other men. My point is this... you have to decide is this how you want your life to play out. What ever you do, dont have another kid with this woman. Have a hear to heart, if not cut ties, do the best you can as a father and make a better choice for a spuse the next time. Good luck.

you should go out and tap a nice piece of young a**.

Yes, my deer wife doe's nag me about running. I wish she'd just buck up and let me do my thing.

No, she doesn't. Ultra-running is a great way to set expectations - when your estimated time to be home is off by 3 hours.

Apropos of does, at the end of my longest solo trail run ever (AC100 finish to Chantry Flats and back), I met a couple out walking. The woman said "We thought you were a deer." to which I responded "To my wife, I am." I was surprised that I still had enough energy at the end of such a long run to make a joke.

If you're venting on a messageboard, you should communicate with wifey better. Everyone deserves a few hobbies.

My ex-wife pretended to support my running, but would give me grief about it in very passive-aggressive ways. I dumped her. It was one of the last straws.

My wife is mostly cool about it since she knows I need it to stay mentally and physically healthy. Still, she was a little passive-aggressive when I was running higher mileage. I'd do all of my running from 4-7am, so it didn't take away "waking" time from her or my three year old son. Problem was that I was mostly useless by about 8pm and couldn't really be bothered to engage in conversation after putting my son to bed.