whats the funniest thing you have hear coaches/spectators say during races?

Bullet Soul wrote:

Coach had been calling me "Hoover" from a previous meet because he said I had 'sucked it up'. Next race I'm mid-pack and I hear him yelling across the infield, "Hooooover...are you TRYING to suck today?"

Different race, I'm lapping a girl who was apparently displacing a lot of water at the water jump. He gets to the edge of the track and goes, "pass her now, there's a tsunami comin'!"

He heard us singing snoop dogg in the van. At the race we hear, "Drop her...LIKE SHE'S HOT"

Funny! Hope the taunt didn't mess with you too much. (And don't worry; a football coach once called me a "stump on a log.")

With that name, all I could think of was Hoover the Talking Seal and you talking back to your coach in that voice/bark:

In the last third or quarter of a race I have always responded well to having people yell "Don't be a f***ing pussy!" at me. My coach in undergrad, being a decent human being, couldn't bring himself to do this. Our girls' team, however, loved yelling it. If they raced first they would be doing their warmup, and if they raced second they would be doing their warmdown, so regardless they were all together along the course. Thus, any time I ran past time our ladies' team in the second half of my college cross races, I would have 6-12 intelligent, enlightened, liberal, empowered 18- to 22-year-old women screaming "Don't be a f***ing pussy!" at me. It got me pretty motivated.

Yeah, that definitely gets me going as well! I also like to be tied up and spanked.

iamnotconvinced wrote:

What other hilarious lines did he have other than "quick hands"? I'm just not seeing the humor in that phrase. If you were a coach (I'm glad you aren't), what would you say to your athletes?

Now the coach calling the kid "Hoover" is funny.

You sure assume a lot about me. You know what they say about those who assume!

Most of his other lines were the standard coach-speak. Not funny, just boring.

As for what I say to my athletes, there are plenty of appropriate cues. But this thread is about the funny ones, so I'll save those for another thread.

At a local high school meet, I enjoyed when the guy with the lap counter yelled, "Run like ya stole something!" Not your average motivational line

Sign at the Chicago Marathon, from a MILF spectator to her husband, who must have had some frustration that she was aware of: Lights On, Sheets Off!!!!

I had a track coach who would yell, "My grandmother could run faster than you, and she's DEAD!"

nice thread wrote:

High School Girls Coach: "You do the running! I'll do the crying!"

hilariously awful

Our coach used to tell us that we squatted to piss. If we had not run well- be it practice or a meet- we would get "G-- D--- it! You guys squat to piss!" If we were at school, this was followed with throwing things. Good times.

I was cheering on my buddy, whose name is Dick, and I was yelling, "Go Dick! Hang with 'em, Dick! You can do it, Dick!"

There was another runner alongside Dick, and he thought I was talking to him, and he gave me the finger.

I remember in H.S. state meet there were these chicks on a team screaming maniacally halfway through the race at a guy around me to push it, and he got annoyed and yelled out "Shut the F*** up!"

I started cracking up during the race

Child: Mommy, look, that man has no shoes!

Mom: He's a TRIATHLETE.

Years ago at the Washington's Birthday Marathon in MD, a friend who had "hit the wall" many miles before had finally entered the last 200 yard stretch to the finish on rather rubbery legs. As he was struggling to finish, a spectating friend of his yelled out, "Sprint, Dave, sprint!" Dave's retort: "I AM SPRINTING!"

A spectator at the Indianapolis Monumental Marathon this year has cheering runners at the 6 mile mark. Her exact words? "Nice hustle guys!"

I almost stopped running, I was laughing so hard.

"Catch the leprechaun!"- Spectator to the guy behind me (I'm in a green uniform, and green shoes)

I was a girls high school race and some jerks hollered out, "Nice Tits!" at the girls in the 800m race.

They yelled it and then ran out of the stadium.

On a 2.5 mile course in high school I was leading the race with a runner from another school on my shoulder. The other runner's coach, at 2.25 miles yelled, "Don't worry, he's just a rabbit, you can catch him"...I guess rabbit just runs the whole race now days...

Push It!

at a xc meet this fat parent was yelling at a runner saying, "Get out of your mind." probably the best ive heard at a race.