My Daughter Sent Over Four Thousand Text Messages Last Month - Should This Concern Me?

trollism wrote:

I'm guessing she was expressing a degree of dismay regarding her current situation.

As in 'f*** my life'.

Kids these days.

I think you're right.

If I ever had kids, I would never let them have a cell phone or even unsupervised internet use.

I am actually extremely glad that the internet (as it exists today) wasn't around while I was in high school and college! I am also glad that I didn't have web access while I was in the corporate world. I would have gotten NOTHING done.

To the concerned parent, I advise you to take your kids phones away for a week and just say "we are having a phone-free week"!

Jason

Yes, it's a lot, but at the very least do not allow her to text while she is in the car with you just so she can be used to not using the phone while driving (when she does get a license).

The Bare Facts wrote:

texted messanger wrote:

The text messages were probably something like:

Her: Hi

Pal: Hi

Her: Where RU

Pal: Math

Her: OK

Pal: Suxs

Her: Yeah

Pal: McDs @ 5?

Her: OK

Pal: OK

I think the above 10 lines count as 10 messages. The entire message thread would take less than one minute to finish.

What's 'fml' mean?

i know a girl that routinely hits 20,00 a month on her blackberry. It could be worse. The most I have ever sent is 2,000, but I still didn't feel like I was going overboard with it. Girls like to text each other a lot just to not feel lonely.

trollism wrote:

It was sent from a girl to my 16 yo son. i don\'t stalk his phone. It was early on a Sunday morning. He was asleep and he had left his phone on the kitchen table. When it started buzzing I couldn\'t help but look at it. All it said was \'omg fml!.

At least it didn\'t say \'Im pregnant\'

I agree, imagaine the amount of cock she would be sucking if she wasn\'t so busy sending text messages

If those 4173 texts were all outgoing, and they only took :20 apiece (including the time spent staring at the stupid thing) that is 46 min a day.

Unless she is getting all A's and reaching her full potential as an athlete, daughter, sister and friend ... AND enjoying her life while she is young ... then that phone is just a tool to help keep her from those things.

Think back to HS (or even right now!) and how much better could you have done with :45 more sleep or homework or time spent cleaning the house?

To be fair, when I was a freshman I had a 4.0 avg in tough classes and was a 4:50/10:20 runner and was happy and well-adjusted and drug-free. We didn't have cell phones though.

texted messanger wrote:

The text messages were probably something like:

Her: Hi

Pal: Hi

Her: Where RU

Pal: Math

Her: OK

Pal: Suxs

Her: Yeah

Pal: McDs @ 5?

Her: OK

Pal: OK

It's more like:

Her: Hi

Pal: Hi

Her: Where RU

Pal: Math

Her: OK

Pal: Sex?

Her: Yeah

Pal: McDs @ 5?

Her: OK

Pal: OK

I'd purchase a different sort of plan, one that isn't unlimited. Tell her what her limit is. Hold her accountable. If she goes over, make her pay. If she can't pay, take the phone away until she can pay.

Texting is a luxury, not a necessity. You know this, I know this.

The real question is, does your kid deserve this sort of luxury, and what is the effect of providing an unlimited luxury of this sort? It's no different from giving your kid a brand-new BMW at age 14. Seriously. An old car will do the job. All the rest is ego. If the kid is embarrassed to be seen driving in an older car--and most would be--then show her how her own efforts (i.e., a job) can help her transform her life.

By not granting her unlimited texting, you force her to remain conscious of the process to some extent, rather than melting into a flow-zone with her brain turning to wired mush. At least a little residual consciousness is a good thing. If you don't require this of her, we all know how this ends: credit card problems (the shopper's flow zone), crack house, whatever.

I'm being semi-facetious towards the end here, but I believe my point is valid. Help your kid distinguish between luxuries and necessities. Most 14 year olds don't want to do that. They need your help.s

My kids are still too young for cell phones, but that's coming soon. A buddy of mine just told me that his son had 9200 texts last month...about 306 a day! They have unlimited texting, so not an issue there, but man that's a lot of texting. As my daughter especially is very social, I expect she will rack up big numbers like that too when the day comes.

MAYEROFF wrote:

If I ever had kids, I would never let them have a cell phone or even unsupervised internet use.

I am actually extremely glad that the internet (as it exists today) wasn't around while I was in high school and college! I am also glad that I didn't have web access while I was in the corporate world. I would have gotten NOTHING done.

To the concerned parent, I advise you to take your kids phones away for a week and just say "we are having a phone-free week"!

Jason

I agree with Jason here. Why the hell does a 14yo need a cell phone. I'm 42 and work in business, and could go without a cell phone. I know I could go w/o because I did not have one 10 years ago and got along just fine with a phone card while travelling up to 26 weeks/yr. I still consider my cell phone a luxury/convenience item.

Cell phones for kids are nothing more than portable video games.

Her texts are most likely to groups of people. A lot of kids text people in groups, sometimes 10 or more. One text like "hey what's going on tonight" to 30 people counts as 30 texts, not one.

Just saying that could be one of your issues. I wouldn't be too concerned though, unless her grades are slipping.

I have two daughters. They have unlimited texting, but likely only average 20 messages a month. Their use is an appropriate and likely productive use of the technology.

No matter how measured, 4 000 text messages are too many.

I am not sure I would discipline her, though. Teenagers are incredibly unpredictable, but I would talk to her about the fact that spending so much time glued to a device is not a very good way to develop interpersonal skills and let the world know what a good and vibrant person she is. Sometimes these messages stick, although not right away. I have had the same conversation with my nephews about video games, too.

Not sure this helps. But you are right to raise the issue as a concern.

And even though she will roll her eyes, she does need a discussion on the dangers of all forms of electronic communication today (including the Internet). Some friends' daughters have been targeted by adult stalkers or pedophiles, and they are by no means naive or non-sensible young women. In one case, law enforcement had to get involved. It just makes sense to give good cyber-technology instructions - even if seen as lecturing.

cooperton wrote:

Check the times of the texts if possible. If they are during school hours, take that phone away from her. If they are late at night, past her bedtime, take it away.

Basically, you can decide if it's a problem based on when it's done. If it's not interfering with things (like school and sleep), it might not be an issue.

This was an important reply.

I believe the term you're looking for here is "Sexting" not "Texting". She wants to do dirty things to lots of boys and is too ashamed to say it out loud, so she types it.

[quote]hmmm again wrote:

I have two daughters. They have unlimited texting, but likely only average 20 messages a month. Their use is an appropriate and likely productive use of the technology.

No matter how measured, 4 000 text messages are too many.

quote]

Your daughters sound a bit uptight and probably wear nerdy clothes and have braces and get bullied and have no friends. Most normal teenagers send tonnes of text messages - it takes them no time, it costs nothing, it doesn't stop them doing anything that they should do, there is no problem. I don't think it is the role of parents to make rules which aren't really for the benefit of their children.

Instant communication is the way life is now. This is a message board for strangers for example! Is it harmful? Should we limit how many messages people post here? (Must be getting on for about 4,000 per month for people like "Mrs M" and "TxRUNNERgrl" and "Flagpole" and the like!)

Texting for kids is like e-mails for adults in the business world. I send maybe 50 work related e-mails each day and receive maybe 150. Let's not be luddites - communication has changed compared to 20 years ago.

fml = f*** my life, as popularized by fmylife.com

your daughter is a slut!

True story:

My boyfriend was texting me and his mom at the same time....

...and he screwed up and sent a fairly suggestive one that was meant for me to his mom....

it ended with this cute graphic:

8=======)~~~~~

Needless to say, he was a bit embarassed. I laughed hysterically when he told me about it (via text).... His dad called him and said "did you realize what you just sent to your mom?" He was laughing too....

4,000 texts a month seems on the high side of things though, especially for a 14 year old girl.