My Daughter Sent Over Four Thousand Text Messages Last Month - Should This Concern Me?

The Bare Facts wrote:

4,173 to be exact. Just got my bill. She's 14 and just got a phone for the first time in April (we wouldn't let her get one until she finished 9th grade, like her siblings before her).

This is not a money thing, as she's under our plan and has unlimited texting. But it concerns me because it is a hell of a lot of time, even if many texts only take a few seconds. Or is this normal for a girl her age? Just want to see what other parents think before I say anything to her. She has good grades and is a pretty good kid.

No, I won't post pics. And I realize asking for parenting advice on Letsrun is inviting some abuse.

Take it from her and teach her some self control... [/problem]

how many were to american idol? she may have been doing 100's to vote for her favorite.

Was that her actual sent message count? Text messages count both ways (sent and received). If that is total text messages, assuming she sent half that's 65-70 per day. It's a lot, but not completely crazy. Some of us use texts more for short informational messages "On my way home." "Where you at" etc.. If you start using texting for ongoing conversations, the messages pile up quickly. At the end of the day, each parent should decide what is an appropriate level for their child. If grades aren't suffering it may not be a big deal, but it still represents a signficant amount of time each day. I'd say it's too many of it is distracting her from having normal inteaction with people (she's always distracted texting during dinner, other group settings) or her grades are suffering.

It's just a carryover from all the other instant update stuff out there. It's incredible that people find the time to actually do the stuff that they have to tell everyone they are doing.

texterdad wrote:

Was that her actual sent message count? Text messages count both ways (sent and received). If that is total text messages, assuming she sent half that's 65-70 per day. It's a lot, but not completely crazy. Some of us use texts more for short informational messages "On my way home." "Where you at" etc.. If you start using texting for ongoing conversations, the messages pile up quickly. At the end of the day, each parent should decide what is an appropriate level for their child. If grades aren't suffering it may not be a big deal, but it still represents a signficant amount of time each day. I'd say it's too many of it is distracting her from having normal inteaction with people (she's always distracted texting during dinner, other group settings) or her grades are suffering.

Yes, and you can also get texts from websites and such...facebook for example can be set up to send you texts to notify you of everything (at least i know it used to)...like messages, wall writings, pokes, friend requests, etc. You could receive many a day that are automatic.

The Bare Facts wrote:

4,173 to be exact. Just got my bill. She's 14 and just got a phone for the first time in April (we wouldn't let her get one until she finished 9th grade, like her siblings before her).

This is not a money thing, as she's under our plan and has unlimited texting. But it concerns me because it is a hell of a lot of time, even if many texts only take a few seconds. Or is this normal for a girl her age? Just want to see what other parents think before I say anything to her. She has good grades and is a pretty good kid.

No, I won't post pics. And I realize asking for parenting advice on Letsrun is inviting some abuse.

I'd be willing to be that no less than 10% of them are telling her friends that her Dad is "posting on that running site again."

she's likely set up something where she receives automatic update texts from twitter, facebook, or something like that.

Sounds like she has a 40 yr old boyfriend who she met on the adult section of craiglist.

Take the phone away from her and let her get her own phone that she is financially responsible for. The ones where you pay beforehand/

Just make sure they aren't picture messages being sent to her boyfriend

I'm 24, and got a cell phone 5 or 6 years ago. I always thought texting was dumb until about a year ago when I started working and coworkers started texting me. I feel like I don't text even close to as much as many of my friends do but still rack up about 600 a month. Thats only 10 outgoing and 10 incoming a day. 4000 is alot, but I can see how it can happen quickly.

I'm still young enough to be against controlling parenting, but the only thing I would worry about is the content of the messages. Check them out, and as long as everything is cool I wouldn't worry about it.

Keep in mind I'm 24 and have no actual parenting experience.

the name fits wrote:

she's likely set up something where she receives automatic update texts from twitter, facebook, or something like that.

I don't think so. She's texting away right now as I sit here watching a baseball game. She's like a texting dynamo. It takes me about 3 minutes to send a single text.

But she has her homework done, so I'm happy.

If she just got it in April, then that makes sense. It'll die down. At least it did in my own daughters case.

Just make sure she's texting all the right people not the wrong ones. Not an easy job though...

The text messages were probably something like:

Her: Hi

Pal: Hi

Her: Where RU

Pal: Math

Her: OK

Pal: Suxs

Her: Yeah

Pal: McDs @ 5?

Her: OK

Pal: OK

I think the above 10 lines count as 10 messages. The entire message thread would take less than one minute to finish.

Check the times of the texts if possible. If they are during school hours, take that phone away from her. If they are late at night, past her bedtime, take it away.

Basically, you can decide if it's a problem based on when it's done. If it's not interfering with things (like school and sleep), it might not be an issue.

texted messanger wrote:

The text messages were probably something like:

Her: Hi

Pal: Hi

Her: Where RU

Pal: Math

Her: OK

Pal: Suxs

Her: Yeah

Pal: McDs @ 5?

Her: OK

Pal: OK

I think the above 10 lines count as 10 messages. The entire message thread would take less than one minute to finish.

What's 'fml' mean?

Put it in context maybe?

trollism wrote:

Put it in context maybe?

It was sent from a girl to my 16 yo son. i don't stalk his phone. It was early on a Sunday morning. He was asleep and he had left his phone on the kitchen table. When it started buzzing I couldn't help but look at it. All it said was 'omg fml!.

At least it didn't say 'Im pregnant'

I'm guessing she was expressing a degree of dismay regarding her current situation.

As in 'f*** my life'.

Kids these days.