First date with a girl who lives in my dorm?

I go to a pretty small school and not many people go on dates, so it seems a little weird to ask her out on a date. She lives like a 10 second walk away from me and we have many friends in common since we live in the same dorm. I guess date was a bad word, as I'm more interested in seeing if there is something more than just flirting or not. I stink at dancing so I try and avoid that as much as possible.

Does your school have a student center or union? You could go rent a pool table for an hour or so, or go bowling (i don't know how good your schools lifestyle features are), then go for the dreaded movie bit.

It's tough to take chicks on dates in college because really we all know its a ploy to start porking, so if she bites on the movie idea, you're pretty much gold.

LOTS of misinformation on this thread... (I'll paraphrase):

"Women never get asked out on dates"

TRUE

"You have to take her to dinner. No girl wants to hang out in your dorm room"

FALSE

"People don't date in college"

TRUE (anEconomist said this twice and no one paid attention)

"You need to act like a total chump and buy things for affection, treat her like a 'lady', etc..."

FALSE

Despite what parents might think, their kids don't really date -- they just hook up. It doesn't matter if you're looking for a relationship or not. Also, not all girls in college are looking for a boyfriend (despite what they might say).

Don't call it a "date"

just have some beer on hand if you hang out in the dorm, go to a party, or other things that have been mentioned. Being confident and fun are the big keys. Being her knight in shining armor isn't necessary. You're not getting married.

Doesn't matter if your college is small or public/private or a big party school or anything else. All college environments fit with what I'm describing.

You're the man.

mr sandman wrote:

I stink at dancing so I try and avoid that as much as possible.

Dancing is a GREAT idea. You both could foxtrot, lindie hop, cha-cha-cha!

Just take her back to your place and then ask her if she wants to pork,then go at it,make sure u pork her in the kiester,they love that,thats what i do and it works every time.

yeah, no one dates in college, but that doesn't mean that girls don't want to. i know the OP here isn't actually interested in a real date, and since that is the case, the movie thing will probably work. however, here's a newsflash for all the college guys out there: if you actually like a girl, ask her out. if this was something that might have resulted in a drunk hook up after a party anyway, she will be waaaay more flattered this way, and it's more likely to go well for you. then again, if all you are looking for is a hookup, clearly a date is unnecessary.

I graduated from college 2 years ago, and though I'm sure things have changed a bit in that eternity, the advice you are getting on this board is pretty solid:

1. No one goes out on "dates" in college. A "date" is simply going to a party with her, gettin' drunk, and then gettin' busy...

2. If your dorm room is big enough, maybe do some pregaming at your place before heading out to said party. Drinking games are always a great way to break the ice. Tell her to bring a few of her friends (so she feels comfortable, and be sure to get in their good graces), and bring a few of your boys around too so the ratio is even.

3. Most girls are not looking for long-term relationships in college. That doesn't mean treat them like whores, but most understand that a long-term relationship won't work out - after graduation you are going to go your separate ways, and long-distance relationships NEVER work.

4. After you've hooked up with her a few times, then ask her out on a "date."

5. If you are not a troll and she's flirting with you, that means she at least thinks you're worth the time to talk to. You've got nothing to lose.

6. No matter how bad you are at dancing, dance with her at the party if possible. She'll appreciate the effort, and it is good to show her you can laugh at yourself.

7. Wrap it. I'm sure mom and dad aren't ready to be grandparents yet.

Best of luck kid.

everyone here except anEconomist has given terrible advice. it looks like you're trying way too hard if you ask some guirl you don't know very well out in a one on one situation.

you guys giving this poor kid this advice are either all dating 35 year old women or you are miraculously posting from the 1950s..

go to a party or bar with a group of friends, have a good time. i'm telling you, this option is way less akward and a far better way to ease into knowing someone than being in a forced akwardly intimate situation. after you've hung out a few times to take the edge off it's fine to do all this other stuff you're all taking about, but jesus, just relax and show her a good time to start with. i'm telling you, this is the easiest way to go.

What the hell is wrong with my way. ??????

When do you give it to her up the ass?

mr sandman wrote:

I go to a pretty small school and not many people go on dates, so it seems a little weird to ask her out on a date. She lives like a 10 second walk away from me and we have many friends in common since we live in the same dorm. I guess date was a bad word, as I'm more interested in seeing if there is something more than just flirting or not. I stink at dancing so I try and avoid that as much as possible.

Hey Mr. Sandman... do us all a favor and define "interested in seeing if there is something more than just flirting". You see... there are vastly different approaches to the two different answers you could give to that question. Most responses to your post here are both legit. They simply are assuming your answer to my question and guiding you one way or another. Here are your two possible answers to the quesiton of what you are looking for in "something more" and the appropriate actions you need to take.

1. You simply want to "cream pie" her and don't care about a relationship. Hell, she's already flirting right? You want to see if there is something more as in sex. Well, if this is your answer then follow all the dudes who are telling you to treat her like a whore. Because that is what you want her to be, so turn her into one man!!!

2. You want something more as in a relationship with this woman. If that's the case then treat her like a lady and you'll get more out of her than you can imagine. No one is saying to marry her... hell, I hook up with 20 year olds all the time using this method. It works. It takes a little more effort in the beginning (aka, not just getting her drunk and then punching the $hit our of her cherry) but the rewards are consistent and mucho sex. Either way, best of luck and wear protection as like a poster already stated... your parents aren't ready to be grandparents yet.

Peace.

take her out man. Let your body language show her that you're interested

girls communicate in mostly nonverbal ways...best way to do this is look her in the eye...ask questions, listen, and respond to what she says. Don't try to make any moves on the first date....a great way to make her feel comfortable is to subtly mimic her body language. It naturally puts people at ease.

Also, lets say you are walking with her or something and she touches your arm, or at some point obviously grazes you. Well, don't get too excited but she is definitely into you. Respond with a similar "touch"...if it's "accidental" on the arm, respond with an 'accidental' arm touch. She'll know.

And most of all, don't lie, women are human lie detectors and as I've learned, most of what they do on a first date is try to figure out if you are an honest person.

the second one, that is why I wasn't sure if the movie idea is a bit sleazy. I'll probably just try some hanging out and the movie, if she agrees to that she is obviously interested. If that goes well, maybe a date at a future time but I think a "date" wouldn't be good now.

You passed the test of being a respectable man. Read my previous post and you'll be just fine. Best of luck man.

Wurmser wrote:

I have found that "no anal" is a good first date rule to follow religiously.

I have found the opposite.

live by this!!!

I liked this girl in college and we knew each other through mutual friends. The girl and I started hanging out a little, she had her own room, so we would hang out, watch movies as "friends". Soon we started meeting each other for lunch between classes and then one time at a bar after we both had a few we were getting into each other dancing, went back to her room and had sex! Worked out perfect :)

oh yeah, a little while after that, then we started "dating" where we would go out to eat, etc.