I am getting my PhD in Clinical psychology, so I can offer some actual legitmate advice.
To become a liscenced psychologist, one must attend a PhD program, do a year of internship (like residency for doctors) and depending on the state you want to practice in one or two years of post-doc work. If you move through it quickly, you are looking at the minimuim of 6 years.
Most PhD programs will fund you, meaning they pay for tution and give you a stipend to live off (it varies greatly depending on the program, but the most you can expect is 18,000 - 20,000, but it more likely to be in the 13,000 range).
Also you have to consider can you even get into one of these programs. Spots, like most other jobs, are highly competitive typically 25-30 people applying per spot available. You will be competing against people with a lot of research and clinical experience, many of which will already have their master's in psychology. Considering you did not take a class in psychology, have no clinical or research experience, you will have a difficult time even getting consideration for a spot.
From what you describe of yourself, I would suggest that if you have the resources, get a master's in counseling or go the PsyD route. A clinical psychologist is trained in the areas of reseacher, therapist and assessment. Also, psychologists are typically trained to deal with more serious disorders, like personality disorders, severe depression. To get a PhD in clinical psychology, you will have to do a master's thesis and a disseration. It sounds like you are more interested in doing therapy, so you have a couple of options.
1. Master's in clinical social work/counseling
This is the easiest and quickest way to become a therapist. Two years of school with the summers spent doing practicums. People with master's in these areas usually deal with marriage counseling, mild depression, mild anxiety, helping people with life changes. Basically, people who need some help but aren't suicidal or too crazy.
A nice hybrid between master's and PhD. PsyD programs take 3-4 years. The difference between a PsyD and a master's is the PsyD is trained to be an informed clinicain, meaning they have a good understanding of research and how to interpret/utilize it; and how to do assessment work like IQ testing, personality testing, etc.
I would advise you not to go the PhD route. You don't sound interested in doing research, so there is no reason to commit an additional 3 years just so you can have the PhD after your name. If you only want to do therapy, the PsyD and master's route are the best options. PsyD's are typically better trained and see people with more serious problems than master's people.
Oh and don't go into psychriatry. Psychologists will have prescription priviledges in every state within 15 years and there will be nothing left for psychriatrists to do.