Should men be allowed to hit women who him them first?

Legally Yes, but as per norms of supposedly toxic masculinity, No, i.e., those who use silly terms like “toxic masculinity” are asking for women to be beaten in retaliatory scenarios.

Hit her first? Equal rights, equal fights. Dry gulching is the way!

You seem like a good guy. What a wonderful idea for a thread. I'm sure it will elicit only well-meaning replies from those truly invested in an honest exploration of the ethics of the scenario.

Reported

If my girlfriend got upset, lost her head and slapped me, there is zero chance that I would hit her back. There is absolutely no up side in that, ever. I'm not facing a domestic violence charge. No thanks.

If a stranger hit me in public, with witnesses, and might hit me a second time, I think I am very capable of firing away. In fact, I'm sure of it.

Not quite. Depends on how likely that “might” is and how real and significant the threat is.

You use the minimum amount of whatever force is reasonably necessary to defend yourself and/or an innocent bystander.

Anything beyond that is anger, pride, or a similar negative impulse.

Or maybe you think you need to teach someone a lesson? Do you think the people who do this learn the lessons that you impart?

I don't think I need to teach anyone a lesson. I think I have basic rights that are supported by both ethics and law.

If I am attacked, I have a right to defend myself, and if the attack is going to continue I certainly have the right to punch the attacker. There is nothing in law that says, "unless the assailant is a woman."

I don't care what lesson someone would learn. My priority would be to limit my own injury.

You sound like a real winner.

Hmmmm...

So, if a very large woman punched you in the face and then wound up for a second shot, you would decline to exercise your legal right to protect yourself?

Are we sure that reflects on me?

It's actually a good question.

In the 80s and 90s, I would have said yes. This was a time of equality between the sexes. If the woman felt comfortable enough to hit then she could expect the consequences. I don't think that the man should have hit the woman first (even in the 80s and 90s). But then again, I don't think that men should have hit anybody either. But that is sort of outside of this question.

Now, I think that the answer is no.

The concept now is equity. So under the equity rules, I think that the answer is no.

No you just have to allow yourself to be bullied and shown violent images by the media / video games

They’re just trying to set you up

Sitting next to my ex on stools at a bar, she suddenly gave me a vicious back fist to the nose, drawing blood and causing a big shock. I stood up quickly to avoid another, but even in that instant of adrenaline and rage, something stopped me from clocking her. My friends described what happened next as me "going Jackie Chan" as I hit her with a flurry of leg kicks, completely subduing her in a couple seconds. She soon calmed down and sobered up and returned to normal.

Because then they get money

If a 10-year-old kid hits a man is it o.k. for the man to punch the kid? Most situations with a woman would be like that. In a relationship, Would I think getting hit by a woman would require serious accountability, like leaving her...yes.

It’s like when the paparazzi provokes celebrities so that they can sue . It’s a con game

There has already been a thread on this subject. But for some guys, there is never enough talk about hitting a woman.

The 10-year-old kid example gets at the real crux of the issue for me. I've seen videos where there's a domestic dispute and a little wife pushes a big husband weakly in the face so he busts her across the jaw as hard as he can, and people in the comments are like, WeLl ShE hIt FiRsT! I think you have to be able to consider the ability to do damage between the two people involved. Some kid hits you and you're an adult, you don't sock him/her in the face, you can just subdue them easily. If there's a massive size difference, the larger party does not need to strike.

However, if it seems like the woman is capable of and/or intent on doing serious injury, just deck her and put an end to it. Same if she reaches for some kind of weapon. So in short, yes you can hit anyone who hits you, but you ought to consider how serious the threat is and whether you can end it by less violent means. A single swing should not necessarily give you free reign to wallop someone else.

What if it's a trans woman? Non binary?