I wanted to talk about the Houlihan case. When the news broke about Shelby’s suspension broke, you wrote a pretty strong, impassioned defense of her on Instagram. Do you still stand by that?
I do.
You wrote at the time, “I’d like to think that the way BTC and its members have conducted themselves over the years has earned us the respect of our peers, the benefit of the doubt.” In my experience on social media and on our messageboards, and talking to people in person at meets, I’d say the majority of people – maybe the significant majority – don’t believe her. They think she cheated. Has that been your experience? And have you been surprised at all in the way the public reaction has reacted to this case?
I think that if something like that were happen to me, I would honestly be suicidal.
-Chris Derrick Talking about the Shelby Houlihan Doping Positive
I’ve generally tried to avoid reading about [it], which maybe makes me not a particularly good teammate. I just find it extremely hard to hear people say those things. And I don’t blame anyone for saying it because I’m sure I would think the same thing and in that sense, I’m not surprised. I used to read LetsRun, I know how people think, and I certainly know how it looks and how I would think if I didn’t know her and I can’t blame anyone for that. I really do strongly believe in her and I absolutely believe in the team and Jerry and their integrity. I just find it very, very hard to think about. I think that if something like that were happen to me, I would honestly be suicidal.
I think one of the things that I carried with me when I was really struggling with running is that idea – which seems pretty naive, I guess – that the choices, in terms of how I carry myself and doing things the right way, that at least, would last. That people would know that. And I guess her whole situation has made me think that’s all extremely tenuous and you actually don’t control what anyone thinks about you. Obviously, you can’t control whether people think you’re good or not, but also if you’re honest or anything like that.
Part of the problem too is I’ve read the internet too much. I know how people think and argue and I can’t even tell them that they’re wrong all the time. I can’t be like, “Sometimes you’re right and sometimes you’re wrong and this time I think you’re wrong.” That’s not convincing. You want totalizing answers. And I know that I’ve heard stuff from behind the scenes from some people in power who I think have a lot of legitimacy that would have privy information that they think that she is innocent and I wish that some of those people would speak more loudly. But it’s not for me to say.
I can’t blame anyone for thinking what they think. The world kind of sucks sometimes so I’m not going to tell you that it’s all roses and rainbows. It just makes me extremely, extremely sad.