Seems to be pretty tough. I don’t imagine you can attract the cream of the crop looking women in your area if you aren’t willing to pull that cash out regularly.
seems to be a requirement to have:
1) great apartment with downtown view near best bars
Talk to equally broke college girls who are more likely focused on school and having fun than money/security at that point in their lives. Otherwise, make more money. Trap.
I have been married for 25 years now. When we met my wife was definitely the cream of the crop in every way. I didn't have a lot of money, but I wasn't careful (cheap) with the money I had.
She was attracted to my live for the day attitude. I still have that. We are as strong as ever.
My Gf prior to my wife was a good person but she was definitely materialistic. It wasn't going to work for me.
Have some self-esteem and confidence and think about what you want and not about trying to attract "the cream of the crop" or the problem is you. It's not a money thing. It's a confidence thing people are attracted to.
Seems to be pretty tough. I don’t imagine you can attract the cream of the crop looking women in your area if you aren’t willing to pull that cash out regularly.
seems to be a requirement to have:
1) great apartment with downtown view near best bars
2) high status job
3) beast vehicle
I think being frugal can be okay as long as you find a match with similar values, but let's be clear that being frugal isn't the same thing as being cheap and/or poor. A person who has a solid career but generally lives below their means is frugal. A person who doesn't have the nice apartment because they don't have a good job is just poor. As for the line between frugal and cheap, most non-gold diggers respect being financially responsible, but being flat out cheap is a turnoff to just about anyone of either sex. It's annoying AF to try to date someone who can't meet up at a coffee shop without getting anxiety over the fact that we could make coffee cheaper at home.
So yeah, frugal is fine as long as you find someone with matching values. But just don't be cheap or poor and blame your failure on frugality.
Seems to be pretty tough. I don’t imagine you can attract the cream of the crop looking women in your area if you aren’t willing to pull that cash out regularly.
seems to be a requirement to have:
1) great apartment with downtown view near best bars
2) high status job
3) beast vehicle
I think being frugal can be okay as long as you find a match with similar values, but let's be clear that being frugal isn't the same thing as being cheap and/or poor. A person who has a solid career but generally lives below their means is frugal. A person who doesn't have the nice apartment because they don't have a good job is just poor. As for the line between frugal and cheap, most non-gold diggers respect being financially responsible, but being flat out cheap is a turnoff to just about anyone of either sex. It's annoying AF to try to date someone who can't meet up at a coffee shop without getting anxiety over the fact that we could make coffee cheaper at home.
So yeah, frugal is fine as long as you find someone with matching values. But just don't be cheap or poor and blame your failure on frugality.
Just to clarify, being poor isn't necessarily a deal killer either. Plenty of broke people manage to do well in the dating world as long as they show some general intelligence and ambition (plenty of broke med students date very attractive women). But just make sure you're taking accurate stock of your attributes and not imagining yourself to be failing due to frugality when the real issue is something else.
I think being frugal can be okay as long as you find a match with similar values, but let's be clear that being frugal isn't the same thing as being cheap and/or poor. A person who has a solid career but generally lives below their means is frugal. A person who doesn't have the nice apartment because they don't have a good job is just poor. As for the line between frugal and cheap, most non-gold diggers respect being financially responsible, but being flat out cheap is a turnoff to just about anyone of either sex. It's annoying AF to try to date someone who can't meet up at a coffee shop without getting anxiety over the fact that we could make coffee cheaper at home.
So yeah, frugal is fine as long as you find someone with matching values. But just don't be cheap or poor and blame your failure on frugality.
Just to clarify, being poor isn't necessarily a deal killer either. Plenty of broke people manage to do well in the dating world as long as they show some general intelligence and ambition (plenty of broke med students date very attractive women). But just make sure you're taking accurate stock of your attributes and not imagining yourself to be failing due to frugality when the real issue is something else.
Broke medical students date attractive women in part because those women know that one day the broken medical student will be rich.
Just to clarify, being poor isn't necessarily a deal killer either. Plenty of broke people manage to do well in the dating world as long as they show some general intelligence and ambition (plenty of broke med students date very attractive women). But just make sure you're taking accurate stock of your attributes and not imagining yourself to be failing due to frugality when the real issue is something else.
Broke medical students date attractive women in part because those women know that one day the broken medical student will be rich.
Sure. Like I said, broke people can do well as long as they show some intelligence and ambition. We don't disagree (except maybe on the definition of "rich").
Timeless truth here: men are more future oriented, and women are more present-oriented. Women will always be more inclined to want fun, food, stuff, etc NOW and don't really care if you're going to be wealthy 5 years from now. It's just the way they're wired. Even very intelligent women often cannot override this inclination. I am 33 and have always been pretty frugal with the goal of having enough money that I could retire by the time I'm about 40. I don't plan on retiring at 40, but having enough money to know I can do basically whatever I want is very appealing to me, and I don't really care about a lot of the things most people care about anyway. I don't care about owning multiple cars, having a big house, eating out all the time, showing off to others, etc. I live well beneath my means and invest the rest, take a trip abroad about once every other year, and do things like read, run, hike, etc for entertainment. Women basically hate this and truly cannot wrap their heads around it. Even after explaining The Plan to them, they still can't seem to understand why anyone would do anything besides spend all their money right now. It's caused more than one relationship of mine to end.
Another timeless truth/pro tip: never disclose how much money you make or how much wealth you have to a woman. Nothing good will ever come from it. You can imply you're well off, but never ever give a dollar figure.
Best advice I can give on this issue is to focus on yourself, try to date and not be too stingy, but keep in mind that as a man, your #1 always has to be yourself, your career, money, goals, development, growth. A quality woman CAN be your greatest asset, but even then, your own growth has to be #1. Anything else will not be good for you, and it will ultimately not be good for your woman either and will cause her to leave you.
There’s a difference between responsible with your money and cheap. Your going to have to take most women to a nice restaurant once in a while. Buy a nice bottle of wine or flowers. It’s been like that since I was in the dating game 20 years ago.
I imagine it’s amplified today with social media. There’s also a difference between a gold digger and a girl that wants to be appreciated. Doesn’t always have to be monetary.
I’ve always had nice cars (I’m a big auto enthusiast). A nice car may help a little once you’ve gotten in the door with a girl, but it’s not going to open the door to get girls. I get thumbs up, head nods, and comments from fellow guy car enthusiasts all the time in my car. Rarely ever a second glance from a chick while driving, which is fine, I’m married.
Having a respectable job is more important than how much you spend, but you have to spend a little.
Broke medical students date attractive women in part because those women know that one day the broken medical student will be rich.
Sure. Like I said, broke people can do well as long as they show some intelligence and ambition. We don't disagree (except maybe on the definition of "rich").
I see what you mean, but the women are making an investment in the future, so to speak. If women are sure that a given man will always be broke, most women would be less interested. Nothing wrong with this, just how it is
I don't think you need to have the best vehicle, but I tend to agree. Hot chicks want a dude with a cool apartment, fit, wears good clothes, good job, good haircut, not ugly. A lot of this is achievable while being frugal imo.
Why is that surprising? Frugal is boring. But a good-looking, boring guy still has plenty of dating options. Don't blame your dating difficulties on your frugality.
Besides, people who claim to be "frugal," from my experience, are usually basing that title off of a few cherry-picked spending habits (e.g. vacations); they offset it by spending more in other areas (e.g. hobbies).
Why is that surprising? Frugal is boring. But a good-looking, boring guy still has plenty of dating options. Don't blame your dating difficulties on your frugality.
Besides, people who claim to be "frugal," from my experience, are usually basing that title off of a few cherry-picked spending habits (e.g. vacations); they offset it by spending more in other areas (e.g. hobbies).
A women’s calculation of a man’s attractiveness is a multi-variable equation. Each will apply different weightings, but the key variables are looks, confidence, intelligence, sense of humor, financial standing/prospects, penis size, etc. If you score poorly in one of these, then you better make up for it elsewhere. Being cheap is one thing you can overcome—you’re stuck with what you got elsewhere.
Why is that surprising? Frugal is boring. But a good-looking, boring guy still has plenty of dating options. Don't blame your dating difficulties on your frugality.
Besides, people who claim to be "frugal," from my experience, are usually basing that title off of a few cherry-picked spending habits (e.g. vacations); they offset it by spending more in other areas (e.g. hobbies).
King Incel chimes in.
Yeah, maybe skip the input of the guy who has trouble getting dates no matter how much he spends and no matter how he spends it.
Talk to equally broke college girls who are more likely focused on school and having fun than money/security at that point in their lives. Otherwise, make more money. Trap.
Good luck with that. Pretty broke college girls are not looking for broke guys.
Eh I think it has more to do with your economic background than anything else. I've dated girls who grew up in a similar middle class situation to me who thought nothing of being stingy, paying for our own meals on dates, and general trying to save money. My current girlfriend has pretty rich parents and our biggest fight has been over money because I'm stingy. Obviously everyone's different and there is variation regardless of how you grew up though.
You won't meet nearly as many of them as if you are living a rich lifestyle, but women can sense talent and ambition, so if you project yourself as if you're on your way, the women you meet will be drawn to to you.