Women I've been dating started lecturing me about running... Dealbreaker?

CrispyChicken wrote:

How many coaches out there in all sports have never actually been a participant?

Colm O'Connell.

Frank Gagliano.

Derek Thompson.

Peter Coe.

Any one else?

Sex has nothing to do with it. I'm pretty sure that she, being a 4th year vet student, would be pretty turned off if I, someone with no knowledge or experience with vet medicine, started lecturing her on how to be a vet and what she was doing wrong. The very idea sounds comically insane to me. If someone doesn't have the mindfulness or self-awareness to understand something like that, I take it as a pretty big red flag.

Hey Doc what’s your opinion about the Scurvy literature ?

You still haven't said what advice she gave you!

Since you refuse to state this, it probably means she gave you good advice, and you were the wrong one and are too embarrassed to post it here.

I'm guessing this was OP's chance to impress Betty with his running skills, instead she was overbearing and told him a thing or two about running.

I need to hear the Betty Plan like i need air to breath

Dealbreaker? On a 1-10 scale of dealbreakers this is about a 2. Not like say a guy putting on a movie about female torture on a first date, which is about a 7.

People should know better wrote:

Betty immediately started telling me I was doing things wrong and that I should do X, Y, Z instead

You tell Betty to shut up and make you some pie.

People should know better wrote:

I've been dating this woman, Betty, pretty lightly for about a month. Can't say we've had any really deep conversations, but it's been going well. The other day I shared that I'm training for my first marathon and talked about my training plan for all of about 30 seconds (because I know 99% of women don't care about this sort of thing), and Betty immediately started telling me I was doing things wrong and that I should do X, Y, Z instead (all of which made no sense at all to anyone who knows anything about running). She didn't rant or anything, but it was still a pretty giant turn off for me as I was a national caliber runner in HS and college and am still very fit, and she doesn't run at all and knows nothing about the sport, training or otherwise.

It appears the true part of the post is that some woman gave OP good advice based on his off-the-wall training, and the troll part is OP's claim that he was national caliber in HS and college and still very fit.

Should Betty can you for airing your laundry on this cesspool? Just as debatable as what you outlined. That might've been her way of acting interested. Remember, you're not flaw free either. Is she going to tell you you're training wrong a year down the road when she sees you knocking out 100 mile weeks and doing well in races? Prolly not, she'll see more into your world and adapt. Maybe if that doesn't happen and you're not vibing then call it but it's been a month I'm sure you gave her a hot take recently that she didn't agree with and I'm sure she didn't bring it to running's alt-right for a second opinion.

Look, don't worry about it. I will go out with Betty, problem solved. I could use some running tips.

When I was in the dating world, I found very few women in my target group (well educated, etc.) who liked an excessive amount of physical training of any type. Staying in shape was great, but 50 miles a week was time that could have been devoted to them. I don't regret who I married, but she was not unusual in her lack of enthusiasm for an exhausting hobby like distance running. Looking back on it, it seem like in my later 20s and early 30s I was on one giant audition. If the woman is desirable and has choices, she is looking for someone who can provide, be a good family guy, and show a lot of dedication to things outside himself. All the modern woman things I was told in my college classes didn't mean much-it seemed like all the evolutionary drives are still present. Following these cues made it a lot easier to have a successful dating life.

Both men and women probably intuitively know men feel more comfortable as the protector/provider.

It's the same thing with jobs. If the wife makes more than the man it's not a big deal if the gap isn't that big, but if it's huge it gets awkward. You could have a male doctor with a female who runs a restaurant, but if you had a female doctor and a male restaurant manager it would feel weird in social circles, esp. if the income variance is 20% or more.

Good points about running--it's time-consuming and women want to have men who have multiple interests, hobbies, etc. and a good job.