Wished the girl I like a happy birthday on facebook. My comment was the ONLY one she didn't "like" or "heart&quot

She realises you like her, but she's not that into you. Move on. Ghost her.

The sad truth is that if you are not in the top 20% of men in terms of desirability (at least 6 feet tall, sculpted jaw, decent facial hair, solid income, excellent social skills, etc.) you really don't have a chance with any girl. That's just how society is today. With traditional values gone from the dating world, women just don't need to spend their time on men who don't have it all.

But the good news is that you are learning this lesson early. Once you realize that there is literally no point in pursuing any female for the average guy, you'll stop getting emotionally invested and getting hurt, and you'll stop wasting time on women. Tough pill to swallow, but you'll be better off once you do.

Al37 wrote:

Is there any chance that this was inadvertent? Or is she trying to subtly send me a message?

I feel like liking a HBD post is pretty much automatic and if you don't it's on purpose. But I also don't want to read too much into it if she just somehow didn't see my comment or something.

0/10 Kids don't use FB. No way this happened. Your trolling would be more believable had you said it was Snap, or IG.

former nike fan boy wrote:

Al37 wrote:

Is there any chance that this was inadvertent? Or is she trying to subtly send me a message?

I feel like liking a HBD post is pretty much automatic and if you don't it's on purpose. But I also don't want to read too much into it if she just somehow didn't see my comment or something.

0/10 Kids don't use FB. No way this happened. Your trolling would be more believable had you said it was Snap, or IG.

OP didn't say that he is a kid.

[quote]bearer of harsh truth wrote:

The sad truth is that if you are not in the top 20% of men in terms of desirability (at least 6 feet tall, sculpted jaw, decent facial hair, solid income, excellent social skills, etc.) you really don't have a chance with any girl./quote]

Roughly 20% of men are 6ft or taller. How much qualifies as a solid income? "Excellent" social skills sounds like something a minority would have. I expect it would be closer to 2% who have all of these.

You don't need all of these. One might be a deal-breaker for some. But if you ranked men on these attributes most people who were above average overall would be below average on at least one of them.

bearer of harsh truth wrote:

The sad truth is that if you are not in the top 20% of men in terms of desirability (at least 6 feet tall, sculpted jaw, decent facial hair, solid income, excellent social skills, etc.) you really don't have a chance with any girl. That's just how society is today. With traditional values gone from the dating world, women just don't need to spend their time on men who don't have it all.

But the good news is that you are learning this lesson early. Once you realize that there is literally no point in pursuing any female for the average guy, you'll stop getting emotionally invested and getting hurt, and you'll stop wasting time on women. Tough pill to swallow, but you'll be better off once you do.

Incel troll is back.

the beagle wrote:

bearer of harsh truth wrote:

The sad truth is that if you are not in the top 20% of men in terms of desirability (at least 6 feet tall, sculpted jaw, decent facial hair, solid income, excellent social skills, etc.) you really don't have a chance with any girl. That's just how society is today. With traditional values gone from the dating world, women just don't need to spend their time on men who don't have it all.

But the good news is that you are learning this lesson early. Once you realize that there is literally no point in pursuing any female for the average guy, you'll stop getting emotionally invested and getting hurt, and you'll stop wasting time on women. Tough pill to swallow, but you'll be better off once you do.

Incel troll is back.

I'm not a troll. I'm just a guy who sees the world for what it is. What I've stated is the new reality my generation lives in. If you're older, it might be hard to see because you came up before the massive shift in cultural values.

As far as the incel label, I know you're using this as an insult, but I don't take it as such. Most men of my generation are incels, whether they self-identify as such or not. "Incel" is a condition that has been imposed on me, not a personal failing of my own making. Why should I feel bad about something that has been done to me?

bearer of harsh truth wrote:

the beagle wrote:

Incel troll is back.

I'm not a troll. I'm just a guy who sees the world for what it is. What I've stated is the new reality my generation lives in. If you're older, it might be hard to see because you came up before the massive shift in cultural values.

As far as the incel label, I know you're using this as an insult, but I don't take it as such. Most men of my generation are incels, whether they self-identify as such or not. "Incel" is a condition that has been imposed on me, not a personal failing of my own making. Why should I feel bad about something that has been done to me?

No, many of your generation are not incels. I know enough to understand exception vs norm.

bearer of harsh truth wrote:

The sad truth is that if you are not in the top 20% of men in terms of desirability (at least 6 feet tall, sculpted jaw, decent facial hair, solid income, excellent social skills, etc.) you really don't have a chance with any girl. That's just how society is today. With traditional values gone from the dating world, women just don't need to spend their time on men who don't have it all.

Do you think close to 100% of women are having sex? What proportion of the top 20% of men are in a monogamous heterosexual relationship most of the time? If no men are in monogamous heterosexual relationships, that would mean men in the top 20% would on average be having sex 5 times more often than women. If most of the top 20% are in monogamous heterosexual relationships, that would mean the remaining men have much more sex than women. For example if 75% were in a relationship, that would mean no sex for 80% of men, monogamous sex for 15% of men, and 5% of men having sex with 85% of women. This doesn't seem plausible. If these men were having sex daily, that would mean the women waiting over a fortnight on average. The men would probably prefer to have sex with the more attractive women, and so the less attractive women would set their sights a little lower than top 20%.

Men NEED sex while women have a much lower sex drive, so it makes sense that women have sex way less often than men. Combine this with the increasing trend toward hookup culture, and the numbers you throw out there seem more than just "plausible."

One 20%er gets on a dating site and has 5 dates lined up instantly, while an average guy goes on the same site and gets ignored. Not really hard to believe.

Do you whine this much about all your shortcomings or just dating?

High School Loser Who Improved wrote:

...

The bright side that if she's doing this, she's not really that great of a person.

Disagree with this last bit. She is sending you a not so subtle message so you don't waste your time. Sounds like a good person to me.

You’re biggest mistake was sending her a happy birthday message. You should have not sent her one and made her think “why didn’t he send me one?”

bearer of harsh truth wrote:

The sad truth is that if you are not in the top 20% of men in terms of desirability (at least 6 feet tall, sculpted jaw, decent facial hair, solid income, excellent social skills, etc.) you really don't have a chance with any girl. That's just how society is today. With traditional values gone from the dating world, women just don't need to spend their time on men who don't have it all.

But the good news is that you are learning this lesson early. Once you realize that there is literally no point in pursuing any female for the average guy, you'll stop getting emotionally invested and getting hurt, and you'll stop wasting time on women. Tough pill to swallow, but you'll be better off once you do.

This is ridiculous. If you are not in the top 20% of men on all those traits, it simply means you don’t have a shot with the top 10% of women. The rest are fair game. I have seen the guys my friends married. If you excel in just one of those areas (ie: extremely high income), you will have plenty of options. If you’re good looking but kinda stupid and don’t have a good job, I promise you’ll find a female who is average looking with a good job that will gladly spend her time on a “hot” husband that she supports financially.

It may have been she actually missed it. Or doesn't like you. Whining like an incel is never a good look.

bearer of harsh truth: "Incel" is a condition that has been imposed on me, not a personal failing of my own making. Why should I feel bad about something that has been done to me?"

The victim-fetish is strong in you. You want to blame others, or other forces, for being an unlikeable man with an unattractive attitude and toxic hatred of women? That you think it's only 6"4 rich, sculpted and firm-jawed gods who are dating, having sex, getting girlfriends you are as ignorant as you sound, also extremely unattractive.

yeah buddy wrote:

Post another comment, say you’ve been thinking and you don’t think it’s going to work out for the two of you

Nailed it.

Is this a long distance relationship?

That would make a difference. It's New Years, you're supposed to wake up next to her, if you're older than 18.

The numbers aren't plausible, because more than 20% of men and women are in a relationship. Some people have a lot of partners (a lot of short relationships, a lot of one-offs, or perhaps some FWB/FB) but I don't think many can sustain this for long. It's either a lot of work to keep finding new partners, or it becomes difficult to maintain a harem of FWB/FBs.

Why do you think there is a trend towards hook up culture? Men want sex, but what is in it for the women? Either they want sex too, or they are hoping for a relationship. If they wanted sex, they would be disappointed by having to wait a long time as they vastly outnumber the desirable men. Or they would be disappointed as they couldn't get any of these men to settle down. Faced with either of these problems, many women would lower their standards.

It is possible that women love hooking up as much as men do, but they have higher standards so are prepared to do it rarely. This would sort of make sense - men maximize their chance of passing on genes by having sex with many women, whereas women increase the survival chances of their offspring by having sex with the best man. But women also have strong incentives to keep the man around, so they would probably want to hookup, thinking it would lead to something more serious.

On a more practical level, one-off casual sex is often unsatisfying for women and that is another reason for women to prefer a relationship.

There are probably a minority of people having a lot of sex, but I think the extent of it is exaggerated. Perhaps one of the biggest factors here is age - girls choosing older boys/men, rather than restricting themselves on the top 20% or whatever of their own age. In school girls can choose the boys their own age or slightly older. This repeats itself in college. 18 year old boys are probably mostly restricted to 18 year old girls, whereas 18 year old girls are attractive to 18-25 year olds. After graduation an early 20s man is mostly restricted to early 20s women, but early 20s women are attractive to men up to mid 30s. Once women reach this late 20s or early 30s they have fewer options, because the men their age are attractive to younger women.

So it may be the case that during teens and perhaps up to mid 20s more girls than boys are having sex. But that doesn't necessarily mean the boys their age are having more sexual partners; it could just be the girls are having sex with older men. As I mentioned above, women have reasons to prefer a relationship. I suspect a lot of women having casual sex are just doing so at a time when they have a lot of options and are hoping one of them leads to a long term relationship.

I don't think the numbers are nearly as extreme as you suggest, but at the younger ages it might be the other way round, with more girls than boys having lots of sexual partners. A small number of 18 year old girls having a lot more sexual partners because they can pick from 18-20s.

"One 20%er gets on a dating site and has 5 dates lined up instantly"

How do you think this works in practice? In my experience there were several messages back and forth before arranging a date and none of them resulted in sex. I realise it might be easier for some, but I think there is still quite a lot of effort. I don't think many men are arranging a date daily and having sex with most of them. But if they were, that would imply (using my example of 15% monogamous, 5% hooking up and none for the remaining 80%) women waiting at least a fortnight for a date and sex. If that were happening, women would start replying to the lower 80% and sending first messages with greater frequency than the men.