Stood up to GF's uncle, lost my GF

Roll tide?

If you aren’t a troll, you weren’t mature enough for a serious relationship. You were a guest in the man’s house, was given a gift and could have worn a shirt for a few minutes. Who cares what it said, you’re not doing a blood oath to the opposing school.

You then escalated it by overreacting and saying you didn’t want to be part of her family. She made the right call.

I think it was worth it and you were completely in the right. You have pride in where you went and there’s nothing wrong with that! Do you think David Ortiz would wear a Yankees sweatshirt for a family photo even if it was just for a second? Absolutely not! Mark Walberg refused to wear a Yankees cap while filming a movie once, sports traditions are just something people should understand. I for one am proud of you!

Ducking into the restroom is a lame dodge. I would have just told him that I needed to return some videotapes.

You had to make quick decision , and you did what is perfectly acceptable amongst friends or YOUR family.

With the benefit of less hindsight, you were not wrong, but the better reaction would have been to just take the picture. If you agree with that now, you might call the girl and explain. If you remain adamant that making a stand with your girlfriend’s relatives over D1 sports was the right move, this relationship is not for you.

My wife is youngest of seven, all married. I am not shy but when I go to relatives homes I grab a beer, relax and avoid every stupid comment or argument that comes my way.

You could have just feigned death like in that “Far Side” cartoon.

You didn't stand up to him, you ran away to the bathroom like a middle school girl. You should have just stood there and laughed at him and said no, then grab the camera and take the picture for them and move on with your life like a man. Instead you ran away, came back, then ran away again... She broke up with you because you acted weak.

Personally, I would have just worn the shirt only because I couldn't care less about school spirit.

THAT BEING SAID, at the same time the uncle sounds like a overbearing prick who's used to getting what he wants, so kudos for standing your ground and not letting him bully you into submission.

Regardless of where one stands on the school spirit debate, it's a matter of principal and he should've respected that. That he didn't shows a flaw in his character, not yours.

That was a really stupid thing to make a stand on. Yes the uncle was obnoxious but it was their party and it was just a group photo. If your boss says something negative about your college will you quit?

I don't blame her at all. You made a scene and embarrassed her for no reason. Learn to make a stand about the things that really matter in life.

There is other fish in the sea. I don't think that is a family I'd want to be around. And you do marry the family, make no mistake.

mask off wrote:I don't think that is a family I'd want to be around.

I've been letting it sit in my head and you're right. Just think, not a single person actually took OP's side or at least try to empathise.

For lack of better words, they've been emotionally taken hostage by the uncle and cannot imagine any sort of dissidence towards him or his ego, hence their reaction.

That he's the wealthiest makes it easier for him to maintain his power over them.

EuroVisionary wrote:

mask off wrote:I don't think that is a family I'd want to be around.

I've been letting it sit in my head and you're right. Just think, not a single person actually took OP's side or at least try to empathise.

For lack of better words, they've been emotionally taken hostage by the uncle and cannot imagine any sort of dissidence towards him or his ego, hence their reaction.

That he's the wealthiest makes it easier for him to maintain his power over them.

This was my reaction when reading the story.

Sounds like you avoided a creepy family OP.

not really fair to you to be forced into doing spmething you don't want. You had a decent reason and they tried to guilt you into doing it. Good on you for standing your ground. You dont need that girl anyways if she dumps you over that trivial stuff. Surprised she took her uncles side there but good riddance then. A real wife would have either understood your side or forgave you instead of causing a fallout and relationship to end. That's childish.

You were an alpha that day wrote:

I think it was worth it and you were completely in the right. You have pride in where you went and there’s nothing wrong with that! Do you think David Ortiz would wear a Yankees sweatshirt for a family photo even if it was just for a second? Absolutely not! Mark Walberg refused to wear a Yankees cap while filming a movie once, sports traditions are just something people should understand. I for one am proud of you!

Ummm like the time Papi put on a Yankees hat while live on ESPN TV without being forced to?

I think OP could have read the room better. Yes, when I go to my Philly friend's house, he won't let me wear my Giants gear, and vice versa. But we're very friendly and have a long relationship leading up to it. If this is the first time OP met the "Alpha" and was realizing how strong his personality was, he should have just grinned and bore it for the sake of being a respectful guest and for his GF.

Of course, the decision was ultimately whether OP has enough conviction that he's ok ending a relationship over wearing a rival's gear. It seems like he regrets the decision.

But his pride is in tact, and that is the most important thing. Relationships come and go, but Pride is forever. For me at least, thats completely worth it, you can have many girlfriends, but you only get one name!

No you didn't do the right thing and I don't blame your gf. Think of your gf's perspective. If you refuse to do something like wear a sweatshirt for that ridiculous reason, then what else are you going to oppose? What other things will you make a big deal out of?

Dude. Think for a sec.

1) You dated this girl for 5 months. You broke up 12 months ago. You're still thinking about this?

2) You broke up 12 months ago. You haven't gotten another girlfriend in all this time?

3) You broke up 12 months ago. How many guys do you think she's hooked up with and/or dated since then? Hint: it's more than zero.

Is his pride intact? He's left wondering after a year if he did the right thing and has not dated. Maybe college loyalty has limits. Everyone has their threshold with what they're comfortable with after all.

Taken in the extreme, I think nearly all of us would agree we would put on a rival sweatshirt if held at gunpoint. At the other extreme, I think nearly none of us would put on a rival sweatshirt if someone offered say a soft drink. Where does this situation land... different for each of us probably, but ultimately only matters to OP.

I was hoping for a more amusing troll post.

On the off chance the story is true, my only concern during reading it was hoping the uncle was not a ND alumni, because his behavior was unbecoming.

I was relieved that his alma mater was a member of a conference.

As for OP, the girlfriend was wrong to bring him into a dysfunctional situation, showing that she didn't respect his feelings. She may have expected OP to capitulate, so that she could get empathy from OP when she told him about other situations where she gave in.

I think he did pretty good under the circumstances...so why miss the girl?

Maybe he is not revealing critical information, such as she was hot and he can't get someone as hot to replace her.