parenthood

A few thoughts as a father of 3:

- If your spouse has not bought in to exercise being a high priority in your life, this will be much harder and nearly impossible. Reconsider whether this is the right time for you to run a marathon if this is the case. You don't need to add relationship stress or spousal resentment on top of all of the other stressors in your life.

- If your spouse is supportive, make sure to reciprocate by trying to find 40-60 minutes a day where she has some time to do something she considers a priority. Even a spouse he means to be supportive may end up resentful over time if everything is geared toward your interests during this time. This - my wife deciding that she wanted to start sneaking out for runs to have 30-45 minutes alone just like I did after our 3rd child was born - is how my wife became a runner.

- Be flexible. Some runs and workouts are simply not going to happen. Accept those days and move on to the next one, because your only realistic goal is to limit when that will happen, not eliminate it.

- Be creative. Getting up early to get your runs in is the most obvious choice, but sometimes that may not be an option, so consider things like running home from work, running at lunch time, running late at night after the family is down for the night, running from events, etc. I used to run home from my first kid's soccer games - it would take the family 15 minutes to drive home, so I would be with them for the entire game, my wife would drive them home, and I would show up about 25 minutes after they got home, missing only 25 minutes out of their day, but otherwise being present for the key stuff.

- Don't skimp on sleep (which may mean you will need to be flexible and creative - see above) and be mindful of nutrition. The little things always matter, but they matter even more when you are stretched thin. Illness and injuries can pop up any time, but they are even more likely to pop up during times of high mental and physical stress, and they can derail a training cycle (and can, in the case of illness, impact the rest of your family). Sleep and nutrition are nature's primary preventative medicines.

Good luck.

Smoove wrote:

- Be creative. Getting up early to get your runs in is the most obvious choice...

The toughest marathon buildup I had was when my wife and I were living in Dallas with our 2 year old. For a 30 day stretch the temperature never dipped below 80 degrees so we were getting up at ridiculous hours to separately get in 7-10 miles before work. You just couldn’t run any other time of day.

Luckily we both had the same goal and made it work.

i would also add...be clear with your plan and expectations with the wife.

At my peak i was doing 70+mpw with a young kid. this required running every morning before they got up and long runs on saturday. i had to make it clear to my wife what my schedule was so she could plan accordingly. And she had to buy in on the plan. i was only able to manage this though for 5 years or so. then the other factors in my life pushed me down from 70 to more like 35mpw (and my marathon times are now embarrassing).

I do a lot of commute runs, treadmill runs when everyone's asleep at night, and naptime runs on the weekend. But for the first 8 months, I didn't really run at all because I was so tired.

When my kid was born, I was a mid 18s guy. Last week, I just broke 17. This is brand new fitness. So yeah, it's possible, just not easy.

This is the OP here..

Wife and I have been together for many years now and she was with me when I was just really getting into running so she knows nothing else with me. She's totally supportive and she's really into fitness too, which is huge, as I've heard stories where that's not the case, idk how those couples make it work (they probably don't.) I am humbled by how much more tired I can be initially in the morning after being woken up a few times throughout the night, as I've always been a rise and shine guy without much effort. It's a big life change, and I love hearing about others walking the same path. All too often, many posters on here are more than likely young bucks whose sole focus is mileage, and more mileage with little to no priorities. Yeah, I marvel at their output but that chapter of life passes us by fast and I certainly can't relate as many others can't either. I have a huge amount of respect for Masters runners too as they've been at it for decades and find a way to stay healthy and continue running for the love of running.

Happy running to all.

Good advice here so far. Father of two that runs 40-50mpw adding a couple of other points:

When your kids are really young, it's tough to establish a routine because things are changing so quickly. One week, your son might sleep until 8am, so early runs are easy to get in. The next week, he might be up at 5am every day. That kind of stuff does get easier. Then you can start to get a running routine that works around your family.

I remember going down to the track for a hard workout thinking 'I just slept 2.5 hours and I'm about to do 5x1200. WTF'. You just survive and adapt. Do what you can and then life will get more predictable.

Also, invest in a BOB stroller.