Married to a bipolar wife

Any redeeming qualities?

Get out and take your kid with you. Why is this even a question?

Enjoy her SFH type of bedroom eagerness and openness.

Who isn't? I feel you, bro.

Did you know about this when you married her?

"Hi Letsrun! My house is on fire as we speak, but I just wanted to reach out for advice before I take any drastic action. I feel like I should leave. What do you all think? My wireless may go down, as the room that my router is in is currently engulfed in flames, but I'll keep monitoring the conversation from my phone in my bedroom until a conclusion is reached, and I will wait until then to take any action. Thanks for your help!"

Seriously, leave yesterday. How is this a question?

this thread is worthless without pics.

My ex was bi-polar, she wasn't diagnosed until after we had begun the divorce process but looking back it makes a lot of sense. She did not suffer the level of behavior and swings your wife is displaying and since she hadn't been diagnosed but it left a lot of questions at the time to what was causing behavior and mood swings.

From what you shared, for your safety and that of your child(ren) you need to leave. Continue to document, document, document - pics, notes, journal, record. It is hard and no fun but she clearly is a harm to herself and your family which could be more tragic than leaving.

Nope, I didn’t know.

get her addicted to heroin.

IDK what she has done or might do to get her condition under control. There are treatments that can help a lot of people live a normal life.

If there's not a good prospect of treatment working or her be compliant with treatment, then what others have said is right--you need to get out for your child's safety and for your own sake.

The hard part is that when you have a child with someone, they're probably in your life for the next couple of decades at least. Getting out won't necessarily mean you won't have to deal with her and it will still be in your interest for her to get her condition under control. When it comes to basic safety for yourself and child, however, it sounds like you need to separate from her as much as possible. I would talk to a good lawyer about how divorce and child custody might work in your state.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's a very hard situation.

0/10

even though you got responses your made up scenario was too dramatically obvious and left no room for debate. Child safety alone doesn’t allow anyone to give you anything other than one piece of advice.

What you should done was not refer to a son or daughter as “my child”, and instead created some bond or attachment between the supposed wife and the supposed son or daughter. Like say “despite all this she’s a great mother to my/our son/daughter and he/she is really attached to her”. You needed some actual conflict that could lead to diverging opinions. Your happiness vs your son/daughters happoness. Something like that.

Guns? Violence? Attempted suicide? Emotional abuse? Be a man and protect your child.

Doing nothing and allowing your wife to rule the house with her emotions and her violence is putting your kid’s health and happiness at risk. What kind of father/male role model are you if you accept her outbursts and abuse with no repurcussions? Your child is faultless and does not deserve to be raised in that environment. Your one utility value as a man is your ability to protect your offspring. If you can’t do that, then what are you doing with your life? Hire an attorney and do what’s necessary to ensure your kid has a safe home.

The truth hurts.

In the chance that you are not trolling, and a lot of your post rings true, so I don't think you are:

I have been with a bipolar woman for six years. Not married, but we've tried living together a few times. For those that don't get it (why be with them), you don't get to choose who you fall in love with. And bipolar people can be amazing when they aren't having episodes. My girlfriend is the sweetest, most beautiful person when she is stable. However, when she is having episodes, it's like being with the devil. And the worst part about it is that it's impossible to figure out how to cope, because as soon as you think you have a plan to help them or simply deal with it, they "change the rules." It isn't like arguing or fighting with a normal person, where you can figure out what "works" to prevent it or avoid it.

I understand about the violence, the suicidal threats, and the crazy, intense public episodes. It is terrible. I don't have suggestions, but reading the book "The Buddha and the Borderline" is something she might be open to. It is written by someone who has managed to beat borderline personality disorder, which shares a lot of the problems with the type of bipolar disorder you seem to describe. It is important that she knows the problem.

One thing we've done that *sometimes* helps is that when you are having a "good" period, talk about coming up with a pre-determined specific sentence she can remember that is letting her know it is happening. Something you can make her remember, and then you say it when it's happening. I'm not sure I'm explaining it right, but I hope you get the drift. If you come up with the "trigger" sentence when you are having a particularly warm, close moment, it can sometimes bring her back to that warm moment when you say it again - "Remember when we said this, and you promised you would remember?" And on occasion, it works and can break the episode. But not always.

Talk to a divorce attorney ASAP and get out ASAP. Protect your child.

And just run more, baby.

Contact legal representation ASAP. Find out what you need to document etc. How do you protect joint bank accounts etc. Do not leave the home first without having spoken to a legal representative. It is not just you that needs to escape but your child also. If you leave first, you can be painted as abandoning them. You need to get full custody.

Also, her reaction is uncertain, but one can guess where it might go. Mentally prepare yourself and your child.

Leave and don't look back in anger.

My wife has OCD + generalized anxiety order which is a different dragon, but still. The biggest question is how hard is she working on trying to make it better. For my wife she had to go through gruesome cognitve behavioral therapy + exposure therapy in order to become a functioning adult and she still has combat the OCD every second of her existence. Even with this it still severely affects my life (e.g. she can't enter or leave the house unless I am around to make sure everything is "safe").

My advice is based on OCD and I am not sure how transferable it is to Bipolar Disorder.

You need to go to a therapist yourself. You need someone to talk this through who understands the disorder. Additionally you need to know what your wife can do to get better and what a "good" outcome would look like. You also need to understand what you do that helps and what you do that hurts.

Then you need to decide if the "good" outcome is acceptable for both you and your child. Currently what is happening to your child is psychologically damaging. If the good outcome is not healthy for you and your child leave.

If your wife can move to something that is acceptable (not perfect), then you should work with her as long she is constantly working towards that good outcome. All the time. If she isn't working all the time (with a little grace because she is human) then you should leave. You and your childs mental health is important.

Bottom line, your current situation is not mentally and emotionally healthy for you or your child and that needs to change. Because she is your wife and the mother of your child, you owe your family the opportunity to stay intact. That opportunity, however must be conditional on the situation improving.

But is she great in bed?

Crazy girls generally are the best when it comes to sex. That's why we put up with them