My 32 year old brother is about to invest 2 years and 24k into a CompSci degree - how do I stop him?

So basically he is trying to turn his life around and you think he should just stay a bartender instead? If he finishes the program he will make more than he currently does within a few years and then continue to do so for the rest of his life (ps no one has a problem hiring a 34 year old). 24k student load will not be a big deal at all in the long run either. Now picture the reverse scenario. He stays a bartender, never makes any more money than he currently does, never has a fufilling job, and never pursues his own aspirations. Is that really what you want for your brother?

If I were to guess I would say you are insecure that your brother is smarter than you and deep down you want him to be less successful

While his age is a disadvantage, if he is smart and determined he will still be successful.

I feel he is setting himself up for failure on a completely random and new path. Of course "turning his life around" would be a good thing but his life isn't bad! He isn't an alcoholic or coke addict or anything and has a solid group of friends. I think a way better plan of action would be to do something like take night classes for a business degree and try to become the restaurant manager - he stays in the same field but does something a little different instead of essentially rolling the dice. And no, I've seen all the posts on this forum about computer coding etc. and there is obviously a TON of ageism - he would be in tough as a 35 year old new grad.

rwara wrote:

So basically he is trying to turn his life around and you think he should just stay a bartender instead? If he finishes the program he will make more than he currently does within a few years and then continue to do so for the rest of his life (ps no one has a problem hiring a 34 year old). 24k student load will not be a big deal at all in the long run either. Now picture the reverse scenario. He stays a bartender, never makes any more money than he currently does, never has a fufilling job, and never pursues his own aspirations. Is that really what you want for your brother?

If I were to guess I would say you are insecure that your brother is smarter than you and deep down you want him to be less successful

HS is a long way in the rear view mirror at this point and taking the math and physics courses, even if joke online ones, shows he is serious and will race through what would have been tough for him in college. Then he will have some eminently employable skills at this time (assuming this is a real computer science program and not one of those farcical private schools that advertise on tv--don't let him do that!), although he will want to make sure that he picks up programming languages that are sought after by companies now.

CompSci is a great and lucrative degree, he's doing well. You're in the wrong here.

His age is a huge disadvantage and if he takes this course - even if he manages to bootstrap his way through it - he'll likely be a mediocre grad and one of the oldest as well - very tough spot to find a job. I'm also afraid he'll be incredibly bored. Computer coding is very boring/time intensive. He's used to being on his feet and chatting to people all day. It's like he's doing the complete opposite of what suits his personality.

Moneyiscool wrote:

While his age is a disadvantage, if he is smart and determined he will still be successful.

Easy, take him in and pay for all of his expenses for the rest of his life. No more worries for him.

How dare he get tired of despensing alcohol to degenerate losers. He should be stuck doing that for the rest of his life!

Btw, what I really think is your brother's plan is very good one.

Also he is broke - thus the need for student loans.

At the very least I think he should prove he can work and save for another couple years and maybe ease in with 1-2 courses a semester.

Moneyiscool wrote:

While his age is a disadvantage, if he is smart and determined he will still be successful.

Agreed 100%

Of all the things I might discourage a brother from pursuing... This is not it

brotherhood wrote:

And no, I've seen all the posts on this forum about computer coding etc. and there is obviously a TON of ageism - he would be in tough as a 35 year old new grad.

False. If you have the skills you will find the work. People want good coders, they don't care if you have 40 years to devote to the company, they probably don't want you that long anyways. I graduated CS in may 2016 at 30 and found work in no time. My friends dad got a certificate and found work in IT when he was over 50 years old. You seem like very pessimistic person.

So #1 - You graduated 5 years before my brother will (very best scenario) which makes a big difference. #2 - Your dad's friend got a job in IT. That means nothing. What was his background? What was the job? He could have a got a certificate as a phone company technician or had an MBA and 20 years corporate experience and just topped it off with some tech knowledge. #3 - Sure maybe he could find a job as an intern in a code mill - he'll be miserable. He would have to be very talented to substantially beat his current hourly wage and standard of living.

rwara wrote:

False. If you have the skills you will find the work. People want good coders, they don't care if you have 40 years to devote to the company, they probably don't want you that long anyways. I graduated CS in may 2016 at 30 and found work in no time. My friends dad got a certificate and found work in IT when he was over 50 years old. You seem like very pessimistic person.

Yup, you're wrong. The only thing that gives me pause is the personality fit - but surely there are jobs in the tech world (e.g., managing a team of coders) that can leverage your brother's people skills.

swerve wrote:

CompSci is a great and lucrative degree, he's doing well. You're in the wrong here.

agree x10

brotherhood wrote:

Of course "turning his life around" would be a good thing but his life isn't bad! He isn't an alcoholic or coke addict or anything and has a solid group of friends.

And no, I've seen all the posts on this forum about computer coding etc. and there is obviously a TON of ageism - he would be in tough as a 35 year old new grad.

Yes, because not being a coke addict and having some friends is definitely sufficient to give one a fulfilling life!

Also, heaven forbid people in their 30s learn new skills! They should keep their jobs at the factory line, coal mine, oil refinery, etc. as I'm sure those will be relevant jobs 20 years that will have them set for retirement!

brotherhood wrote:

So

#1 - You graduated 5 years before my brother will (very best scenario) which makes a big difference.

#2 - Your dad's friend got a job in IT. That means nothing. What was his background? What was the job? He could have a got a certificate as a phone company technician or had an MBA and 20 years corporate experience and just topped it off with some tech knowledge.

#3 - Sure maybe he could find a job as an intern in a code mill - he'll be miserable. He would have to be very talented to substantially beat his current hourly wage and standard of living.

He worked at a max (quick-e-mart style of store, i don't know if they are everywhere). No previous education, but he was always into computers. He's an application analyst for a cancer research center now. 5 years is really not that big of a difference, I've seen new highers older than 35. I bet a lot of dev guys on here would say the same. You don't need to be that "talented" to progress you just have to work hard and always keep learning. A guy who writes neat code and has a bunch of skills is worth more than a guy who is just really smart. Sounds like intelligence is not an issue from what you say anyways though. 60k is not much more than even the low paying developer jobs so I don't know why you are so certain he can't make that. Also, I don't think you realize how much available work there is in the industry. Trust me, there's a reason I graduated at 30 and its because I fked around, partied, and did drugs through most of my 20s. 30 may look better than 35 on a resume but having spent 7 years to get a bachelors (yes, its sad) while not having worked an official job in 3 years looks worse. I built some sites for a portfolio and that was enough though because like I said, if you have the skills then the rest is just fluff. A degree or certificate is just a formality to get passed HR. Honestly it sounds like you are trying to convince yourself that this is a bad idea more than you are trying to convince us.

rwara wrote:

brotherhood wrote:

So

#1 - You graduated 5 years before my brother will (very best scenario) which makes a big difference.

#2 - Your dad's friend got a job in IT. That means nothing. What was his background? What was the job? He could have a got a certificate as a phone company technician or had an MBA and 20 years corporate experience and just topped it off with some tech knowledge.

#3 - Sure maybe he could find a job as an intern in a code mill - he'll be miserable. He would have to be very talented to substantially beat his current hourly wage and standard of living.

Honestly it sounds like you are trying to convince yourself that this is a bad idea more than you are trying to convince us.

This entirely.

At this point, it seems like you're more concerned with convincing us of something than of actually being concerned with your brother. In fairness, it's hard to pick up on these things over the internet, but in some ways it almost sounds like you're more jealous/upset about this than you are concerned.

2 years and 24k seems like a small investment to change careers.

OP we all think you're wrong here.

He has a great job that pays 60k+, allows him lots of flexibility to play sports with friends, go on trips etc. Why throw that away for something that probably won't work, have less flexibility, be boring etc???He does have a fulfilling life right now!

Hermes link ice blue mink wrote:

Yes, because not being a coke addict and having some friends is definitely sufficient to give one a fulfilling life!

Also, heaven forbid people in their 30s learn new skills! They should keep their jobs at the factory line, coal mine, oil refinery, etc. as I'm sure those will be relevant jobs 20 years that will have them set for retirement!