How privelaged/spoiled am I?

Middle class, moderately privileged but nothing to write home about.

I had friends who drove to school in (their own) new audis and whose parents dropped 200k+ for them to major in media and gender studies at Pitzer/Chapman//Grinnell/Colby/Oberlin/Macalester/etc.

Take this quiz and you can put a number on exactly how privileged you are.

http://www.checkmyprivilege.com/

white=privileged

Sounds like if you were a sibling of mine, you'd be the darling of my parents. Diligent and studious, rising up through college and into grad school. Getting married young. If I had done what you had done, my old man would happily have forked over a similar amount of cash. It's not a matter of being spoiled. It's completely about your father or parents having cash and deciding, by their own pleasure, to give you it in those forms, as you met their requirements and fulfilled their hopes. I don't see how that's any different from people freely spending money on goods, services, pleasures and causes they care about and that deliver full satisfaction to them.

Many upper middle class parents have a desire to do the same as was done for you. They have cash in reserve. They want to help their kids through college and get them set up financially with those things. You sound like a good kid for your circumstances.

I think I separate the 'privilege/spoiled' terms from the 'lucky/advantaged' terms by the individual(s) in the scenarios.

Let me draw it out using two types of individuals that could be in your exact scenario:

Individual A: Has genuine appreciation, and an understanding, for what they have been given. This is not necessarily privileged/spoiled (although a different use of the term 'privilege' without negativity could be used here, as in "it is a privilege to have such nice parents and such great advantages")

Individual B: Has developed an expectation that they will continue to receive the listed advantages. Is upset or disappointed when certain advantages (such as car insurance or cell phone payments) are removed.

The important thing, in my mind, is understanding that you have an advantage and genuinely appreciating the advantage and the effort and work that it took your parents to then gift to you. In order to call somebody spoiled, the individual has to show characteristics that they do not appreciate and expect the advantages.

This isn't to say you haven't received advantages in life - meaning you have been given things and taken care of in such a way that wouldn't be expected from any/all parents.

Your education was a waste if you still can't even spell privilege.

At what point do you think you'll tell your old man that you don't need a $1000 Christmas bonus or $500 birthday bonus from him anymore? 27 years old and never stood on your own two feet. Don't know/care about 'privilege' but that is pathetic.

forthekeeeuds wrote:

At what point do you think you'll tell your old man that you don't need a $1000 Christmas bonus or $500 birthday bonus from him anymore? 27 years old and never stood on your own two feet. Don't know/care about 'privilege' but that is pathetic.

Yes I've told him this before, but he always insists I take it. I've just been putting it in my son's 529 account the last two years.

Your parents are looking out for you and helping you in ways that they can, and it seems that you appreciate their help and do not take it for granted. It doesn't sound like you're taking their money and throwing it into the crapper or engaging in self-destructive behavior, either. You've made a life for yourself and started a family and a career. That's what it's all about, so enjoy your good fortune.

You mentioned that you've been taking the extra money from your folks and putting it into your son's 529 account. Why have you been doing that? Because you want to do the same for your son that your parents have done for you.

Privileged as hell. All of us are. I dont think any of you seem to realize or grasp how lucky you are. Thats the problem with millennials. If you are born in the USA, have a roof under your head, went to college, healthy, and have parents, you are already LUCKIER than a good percentage of the entire population in the WORLD.

You my friend, are very, very lucky/privileged. Im sure youre grateful for that but you asked the question here. You got $1000 for Christmas?? I got a paper calendar from my mom LOL (Love her to death though).I have had to work my a** up through the ranks, with no financial support at all from my parents (paid for my own car, insurance, college tuition through fafsa b/c we are poor, my own phone, every bill, etc) Out of college now since last year, with a job and planning on moving out soon. Anything that cost money was never given to me.

Alot of things I wish I had so I could utilize to the fullest but never had the funds to do so. Like wishing I had a macbook first two years into college so I can do my programming and homework assignments. Had to do them on the lab machines on campus. Meanwhile I hear dumba** rich kids complaining about not getting to go on a summer cruise with their other dumba** rich friends. Still wasn't too bad using the lab machines, but a pain in the neck when youre in a track meet & all your data is stored on campus.

Keep in mind though, even I feel lucky and privileged to be living healthy, happy, and in the goddam USA making a living. Grateful as hell for living here than say, being a child soldier in Sierra Leone... or a Jew in the 1940s seeing your whole family vaporize... or a black slave forced into intense work for the rest of his days. Dont think people understand how lucky they are. Only when you have nothing can you really appreciate that. I don't blame you at all though, Im just answering your question. Still tight AF that you got $1000 for christmas though

Older millennial here. You are an objectively very lucky/privileged guy, but you seem to be aware of that fact and seem to be directing your luck/privilege in generally positive ways. So I think that is good -- can't really be faulted for winning the birth lottery as long as you're not a DB about it. I also consider myself a very objectively lucky/privileged guy, and hope I've been able to similarly direct that luck/privilege in a positive way.

Like you, my parents (specifically my mom -- parents were divorced) paid for my college (Ivy). We were on the lowish end of middle class growing up so I also got tons of financial aid, but she paid the difference so I didn't have to take any loans (she has also previously stretched to buy a house in a great public school district, which I think ended up being hugely helpful to me). All of that was awesome. Always paid for my own cell phone, books, entertainment, etc. Various on-campus and summer jobs throughout.

Near the end of college, I inherited almost $50k from a distant uncle (seriously) and about $5k from my grandmother. I kept that money in the bank while working for a few years and paying my own way for apartment, living expenses, etc. (I did have a job lined up by senior year of college), and later got married at age 25. My wife grew up much more in the upper, upper middle class, and her parents paid for the whole wedding, which I think cost around $30k.

After we got married, I started law school, paying tuition for with a combo of my inheritance and student loans. My wife was already working as a lawyer by then and paid for our apartment and other general living expenses.

After law school, we both worked for in biglaw for a few years and were making good money. We eventually had a kid and moved to a smaller city and to somewhat lower paying/lower pressure jobs. Bought a house. Her parents gave us $100k for a down payment (we could have done it by that point, but of course it was nicer to keep that money in the bank). Had another kid.

More recently, her parents contributed $70k toward a vacation house we bought. We pay the condo fees, taxes, etc, but would not have bought it in the first place without their help. It has been super-fun to have so far.

So I've obviously benefited hugely from both my parents', in-laws', and other relatives' largess. Like you, I am trying to pay it forward -- e.g., bought a house in a great school district, saving a lot in my kids' 529 accounts (and I know my in-laws also opened separate 529s for my kids), and am of course saving aggressively for retirement so at minimum I hopefully won't be a burden on my kids when they are grown. Feel very lucky about all of this, and hope I don't mess it up.

priviledged yes, spoiled no.

We tried to teach our kids is not to take anything for granted and through no skill on our part, seem to have succeeded. The fact that both children (adults now) have never asked us for money makes us happy to give them some if we think they need it. Son just bought his first car (at 27!) and did not ask for anything. So we gave him $ to add to his down payment.

Seems like you're pretty grateful and a cool dude. My situation was quite a bit different.

27 years old. Parent stopped buying me clothes after age 12. Paid for my own cell phone, car, gas. Parent's did pay for car insurance though. I went on a two year LDS mission when I was 19 and asked my parents to use my credit card responsibly while I was gone to build my credit. I got home and my card was maxed out. Paid it off myself. Went to an affordable state school and paid for everything myself with a combination of part and full time jobs, student loans, and PELL grants. Got married and parents were only able to contribute about $500 - wife's parents were strapped at the time and put in maybe $1,000. Went on a cheap honeymoon with barely enough money for food. Let alone any entertainment.

Graduated with about 16K in student loans between my wife and I. Recruited like crazy and got a solid job making 60k first year out of school. Now our combined income is about 95K, maxing out employer contributions to 401k, and one ROTH.

I can't say my parents helped me with much, unless it was work ethic. They are terrible with their finances and call me frequently to see if I will co-sign on loans.