At what age did you start actively looking for a wife?

Serial monogamy worked for me.

We'll sing in the sunshine,

We'll laugh every day,

We'll sing in the sunshine,

Then I'll be on my way.

And we can sing in the sunshine,

We'll laugh everyday,

We'll sing in the sunshine,

Then I'll be on my way.

I'll sing to you each morning,

I'll kiss you every night.

But darlin' don't cling to me,

I'll soon be out of sight.

But we can sing in the sunshine,

We'll laugh everyday,

We'll sing in the sunshine,

Then I'll be on my way.

And you can sing in the sunshine,

You'll laugh everyday,

You'll sing in the sunshine,

Then be on your way

We sang in the sunshine,

You know we laughed everyday,

We sang in the sunshine,

Then she went on her way

I'm in my mid/late 20s now, and I still see marriage as very far off. Part of the problem is I can't seem to find any girl worth marrying. Many of them in my age range are still in professional or graduate school and are super pretentious and full of themselves. On the other hand you have those who have done nothing with their lives. If I could find a motivated, hardworking girl who is humble, I'd jump on the marriage train.

honestly.. wrote:

I'm in my mid/late 20s now, and I still see marriage as very far off. Part of the problem is I can't seem to find any girl worth marrying. Many of them in my age range are still in professional or graduate school and are super pretentious and full of themselves. On the other hand you have those who have done nothing with their lives. If I could find a motivated, hardworking girl who is humble, I'd jump on the marriage train.

If you do get married, get a pre-nup and take care of how you manage your assets. Granted, divorce doesnt always happen but it's good to prepare just in case.

You're on the right track when you say you're looking beyond hotness and a PofA. You don't have to settle for homely, but for physical gifts, look beyond a cute nose or big eyes. Those are gifts of genetics. Is she fit? Does she take care of her teeth, her hair, her skin? Seriously, when a woman hits her 40's and 50's, good care habits will outweigh pretty features every time. Add to that someone who has common sense, who is employed, and who is stable emotionally. I started actively looking in my late 20's and by the time I was 30 I found a good one. That is also about the age that girls are "looking" as well. So while you are evaluating her, she's also evaluating you! Make sure you present yourself appropriately.

I think your question should be: What age did you accept the possibility of marriage?

I think if you are pressing the situation (looking hard) you are not going to make an informed decision. Just accept that it could be possible and you'll find her.

serial celibacy seems to be working for jamin

Ukelele guy wrote:

You're on the right track when you say you're looking beyond hotness and a PofA. You don't have to settle for homely, but for physical gifts, look beyond a cute nose or big eyes. Those are gifts of genetics. Is she fit? Does she take care of her teeth, her hair, her skin? Seriously, when a woman hits her 40's and 50's, good care habits will outweigh pretty features every time. Add to that someone who has common sense, who is employed, and who is stable emotionally. I started actively looking in my late 20's and by the time I was 30 I found a good one. That is also about the age that girls are "looking" as well. So while you are evaluating her, she's also evaluating you! Make sure you present yourself appropriately.

This. Those "hot" girls from high school look so ratchet in their mid 20s because they eat like crap and don't take care of themselves from a health standpoint. They just use makeup and hairspray to cover what they screwed up.

And looking for a "wife" is a weird concept. Kind of just happens in a lot of cases.

i started seriously looking in early 20's in college, but didn't get married until 26.

a few factors:

-same religious beliefs. Would not settle for anything less than my personal convictions.

-stable family background. no divorce, good income, good relationship with parents, etc (didn't want to have to deal with baggage. I don't have a hero complex, and I'd rather enjoy life with the Mrs than save her from her past).

-similar political views (didn't want to argue about small things that could grow to bigger issues)

-Love others and loves self. (similar to how one person mentioned taking care of themselves, hair, skin, etc is akin to loving oneself. If you can't love yourself, you can't love someone else.)

-someone my parents and sibling liked.

-someone who likes old cars, and is ok with me spending money on them.

the rest is pretty much details. most women dress the same and can look sexy if their clothes fit their style, match and if they're wearing their correct size. chicks with nose rings all look the same. chicks who wear uggs look the same. chicks who wear yoga pants all day look the same (and its laziness, not because they're sporty). I thought i'd marry a runner chick. I didn't. I married a team sport athlete, and she's cool and is a good wife and mom.

Never. I was like any other guy in their mid 20s, just looking for action. Eventually, a woman wanted to start a relationship. I was hesitant but it was the best decision I ever made. We were married a year and a half later. I didn't actively seek it out. Just let it happen when it's time.

I began my search on my 13th birthday.

Thanks for all the thoughtful input.

While marriage is not something I simply must do, it would be nice to meet someone that would be attracted to me and vice versa.

I wouldn't even mind so much if we didn't share mutual interests (although meeting another hobby-jogger would be nice).

So long as we share mutual dislikes, she can accept me for me and I for her, (not to mention physical attraction to one another) I think that is all that really matters.

Unfortunately, I don't think I'll ever meet anyone like that.

I've accepted I'll die alone which I'd rather do than settling for someone.

Still, I feel like I'm missing out.

I didn't start looking- it just happened. I literally walked into her and 30 years later it was the best day of my life (along with the birth days of my two children).

runn wrote:

I didn't start looking- it just happened. I literally walked into her and 30 years later it was the best day of my life (along with the birth days of my two children).

This^

I really wasn't shopping for a wife. At age 24, I found who I wanted to share the rest of my life and she felt the same. Some of the posts almost seem weird to me because they are so clinical. Now fortunately traits like intelligence, taking care of oneself and beauty were attractive to me but the whole process for me was emotionally driven.

It wasn't that this trait will make a good wife so I'll look for this trait.

Ukelele guy:

Wrong. Genetic, physical gifts are essential. Unless you want ugly kids.

I am guessing you have ugly kids.

I'm looking for my mother in every woman I date.

I've had your mother and believe me, she's not so hot.-Dad

underlying truth wrote:

I'm looking for my mother in every woman I date.

Jamin?

Conundrum wrote:

I've had your mother and believe me, she's not so hot.

-Dad

underlying truth wrote:

I'm looking for my mother in every woman I date.

Son,

I continue to accommodate your father, but I'm long tired of his mundane advances and unappealing ways.

-Mom