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Siggie Freud
RE: Kids raised by Single Fathers turn out alright. Kids raised by Single Mothers end up messed up. Why? 2/26/2012 6:50PM - in reply to Glory Hole Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Glory Hole was obviously raised by his mother...
Wendell Gee
RE: Kids raised by Single Fathers turn out alright. Kids raised by Single Mothers end up messed up. Why? 2/26/2012 6:53PM - in reply to Siggie Freud Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Or he's a screwup who lacked a father and chooses to blame his issues on his mother.
Kjbhubhu
RE: Kids raised by Single Fathers turn out alright. Kids raised by Single Mothers end up messed up. Why? 2/26/2012 7:06PM - in reply to Wendell Gee Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I was raised by a single father and did quite well (in my opinion).

My gut says that a woman who remains single probably has serious issues (mental instability...). A man who remains single may not be as unstable (on average).

I think that may explain why the single father would do better (on average) as a parent than the single mother.

Here, start the sampling now. One child of single father does well...
Anecdote
RE: Kids raised by Single Fathers turn out alright. Kids raised by Single Mothers end up messed up. Why? 2/26/2012 7:10PM - in reply to Glory Hole Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I know this anecdotal and it doesn't quite fit but it does relate. I teach and to a point, I agree with the OP but don't think it is as black and white as he claims. In general, I've found that single dads are more demanding and structured. Single moms tend to have a harder time being involved and have trouble with their sons. This may be due to work. I think somebody mentioned the earning power of a single dad as opposed to a single mom. Definitely a difference there. Of course I could count the number of single dads I've dealt with on one hand. Single moms... too many. It's definitely possible that if the numbers were similar, this conversation would be different. I also think the gender of the children plays is a factor.

One small example from this school year.

Our middle school takes a standardized test every year. We have about 70 boys in our middle school. 6th grade boys were above average in reading and math for schools in our demographic, 7th grade below in both, and 8th grade above. This is really general information. I know the parents and in particular the dads of the boys in each grade. We have an inordinate number of boys (8) with single moms or detached and uninvolved (due to work, mostly) fathers among our 7th grade boys. Our 6th graders have 2 boys with a single parent (one father, one mother). The eighth grade has no boys with single moms or dads (very strange). Academically, I think it has made a difference.

Athletically, there is an impact as well. I've coached almost all of them at some point and taught them all. The 6th grade class is by far the most coachable and disciplined group followed by the 8th and then the 7th grade, whose behavior as of late has been atrocious. Our 6th graders had multiple dads showing up to games and practice while our 7th grade have moms picking up and dropping off and making games from time to time. It's sad and unfortunate.

I realize that this is a very limited observation but I'm sure there are teachers out there who have had similar experiences.
Oedipus
RE: Kids raised by Single Fathers turn out alright. Kids raised by Single Mothers end up messed up. Why? 2/26/2012 7:26PM - in reply to Wendell Gee Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Moms are great!
The Man and The Legend
RE: Kids raised by Single Fathers turn out alright. Kids raised by Single Mothers end up messed up. Why? 2/26/2012 7:36PM - in reply to Kjbhubhu Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

Kjbhubhu wrote:

I was raised by a single father and did quite well (in my opinion).

A bunch of BS using purely and ridiculously unsubstantiated speculation about mental instability

Here, start the sampling now. One child of single father does well...


I am one of nine raised by a single mother.

Out of 9:

9 graduated high school in the top 10% of their class
2 valedictorians
8 graduated from college (4 years)
6 have graduate degrees
7 make north of $100k
8 are married
0 divorces
8 have children of their own
Of 11 grandchildren above age 18, 10 are in college full time or have already graduated.

Single mom seems to have done pretty well.
Feeling a Little Wacky
RE: Kids raised by Single Fathers turn out alright. Kids raised by Single Mothers end up messed up. Why? 2/26/2012 8:05PM - in reply to The Man and The Legend Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

The Man and The Legend wrote:


Kjbhubhu wrote:

I was raised by a single father and did quite well (in my opinion).

A bunch of BS using purely and ridiculously unsubstantiated speculation about mental instability

Here, start the sampling now. One child of single father does well...


I am one of nine raised by a single mother.

Out of 9:

9 graduated high school in the top 10% of their class
2 valedictorians
8 graduated from college (4 years)
6 have graduate degrees
7 make north of $100k
8 are married
0 divorces
8 have children of their own
Of 11 grandchildren above age 18, 10 are in college full time or have already graduated.

Single mom seems to have done pretty well.


4/10, you had me until 0 divorces.
Kjbhubhu
RE: Kids raised by Single Fathers turn out alright. Kids raised by Single Mothers end up messed up. Why? 2/26/2012 9:02PM - in reply to Anecdote Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
My father had his own business and worked about 14 to 16 hours per day. Not that he had to. He left his job and had the dream to start something on his own.

I'm not sure if physical presence is that important (probably doesn't hurt, but...). I think that mental stability of the single parent is.

It's tough to raise a teenage boy (I have 2). I see that my wife has an even tougher time then me. I found myself quite irrelevant in the children early years. However, I find my wife quite irrelevant during the boys teenage years.

I'm guessing that this is probably common behavior.

Since teenage years are the critical years that determine your destiny, I am guessing that the father's presence is probably very relevant.

I guess that's why it's better to have 2 parents.

So if you are stuck with one, then:

Mental stability is #1

If both father and mother are mentally stable, then

Probably father is more important during teenage years (for boys at least)
Curious Person
RE: Kids raised by Single Fathers turn out alright. Kids raised by Single Mothers end up messed up. Why? 2/26/2012 10:12PM - in reply to Ho Hum Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
For the sake of argument, letís assume fathers and mothers are equally important and equally competent at raising children.
There are a variety of ways a child can be raised by one parent: divorce, death, and abandonment.
We will also acknowledge the fact that, all things being equal, the mother will get primary custody because the courts favor them in a divorce. Because of this, even with our first assumption of equality of the sexes in all other ways, the average child who is raised by a single parent because of a divorce will be better off with the father, simply because of the sample bias.
With our assumption of equality between the sexes, the child should be equally well off with either parent if one dies. A child raised by a single parent because of the other parentís death should have a better chance of being raised well than any other single parent, because selfishness and/or bad judgment has been not been shown by the parent raising the child, unlike most cases of divorce or even abandonment, where a majority of single parents chose to procreate without sufficient prudence.
It is also clearly far easier to abandon a child as a man than it is as a woman because of the 9 months it the child spends in the womb. A child abandoned by one of its parents is also the one which is probably in the worst situation of the three. Although, with our assumption of equality between the sexes, a child would not be better off with one abandoning parent than another, there will be more children in this worst situation with mothers than there will be with fathers, simply because it is easier to abandon a child as a man.
If our first assumption of sexual equality as parent is true, children of single fathers will be better off than children of single mothers, not due to some inherent superiority of fathers (which we assumed to be false anyway), but simply due to sampling bias.
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