Kevin Hadsell wrote:
I hesitate to post and I rarely come to this site. Oddly I followed a google link to this.
I have been the subject of some well-deserved scrutiny and “outing” on this board. I created a terribly negative and potentially career-ending scandal that was picked up by every major news outlet and discussed at great length on this board.
It was an incredibly tough time and it was a low point that I wish on nobody. As a vocal and, at one time, successful part of this community, my personal indiscretions and professional/ethical mistakes had become fodder for a lot of truth, half-truths and partial/untruths to be laid out in front of the people I knew and cared about in the entire community.
At one point RoJo or WeJo (can’t remember now as it’s been like 7 years) reaches out to me. The threads had become pretty damaging and the line of truths a bit blurred. I told them that, as a journalist myself, I can see the need to tell the story and to leave the threads up. I screwed-up, I deserve whatever happens at this point.
However, I can tell you, at the point I hit rock bottom on this, I could see a line in front of me. I could see the line that I would never cross. I could see that line that, sadly, people see as their only way out of the humiliation or the embarrassment. I knew I could never cross it, but believe me when I tell you that line is out there.
I do believe there is a need to draw attention to situations like mine, or cheating, or whatever it is that negatively impacts other people. I can tell you, however, that not everyone has the capacity to handle that and we should be respectful of that.
Thankfully, I was able to get though it. Move on and be grateful to have found success in another field all together. Unfortunately, some people cross that line before they realize that “this too, shall pass”.
Tell the stories. Be mindful of the fact that these are people with families and friends. Be mindful of the fact that there is a line out there that anyone, and I mean anyone, can come to and have to make a decision.
If you are ever in a position where you have been hit with massive adversity (self-inflicted like mine, or, of no fault of your own) you don’t have to cross that line. If you need to talk to someone that has been through it, track me down and I will make the time for you.
If you are telling the stories, focus on the facts at hand. Be respectful.
Just two cents from a former coach.
Great contribution, Kevin.
People are coming from different life experiences. Some might not understand how others could be so "insensitive" about Frank Meza.
I won't post too much about Frank or Loyola anymore now because people will think what I have to say is just brutality. It's not.
My father drank himself to death at 46. I started telling him he was doing just that when I was 12 , I got shouted down or worse by him and even some of my siblings. We often had no food because he lived in a bar spending the social security money we were getting from death benefits from my mother who died after they divorced.
One of my brothers committed suicide a few years later at 21. I have definitely thought about that line many times and was even using drugs and drinking like my dad did for a short time. I also had an eating disorder and was a complete head case about running. I went to therapy when I was 20 to work on myself because I was definitely going haywire. I am still not perfect of course, life is and should be challenging at times, but I am not so patient with people who don't look in their closets and end up being in Franks situation.
I just point this out because people should understand what I said initially, That we all come from different life experiences. Our opinions, for or against something, aren't always just based in trolling, hating, whatever ,even if our delivery isn't great. Someone with similar experience to mine might even take the apologist side. While , based on my experience, I am appalled and sometimes even suspicious about the motives of the people blaming Derek and others, the apparent denial and shifting the questions away from Frank and the institutions he belonged to , I try to understand that they might not also not be just trolls.
Overall though appreciate everything you said. Good job.
I appreciate an open Forum like this , the lack of control. well the moderation is all over the place, but overall different voices get expressed. I think the youngsters should be completely off limits and wish at times that it was a adult only site somehow.