I don't know what your goals were, or how you prioritized things outside of running, but you can rest assured that you gave it a try and now you know. If you hadn't tried you'd be spending the rest of your life wondering what could've been.
You'll get over it.
You might find it meaningful to help other runners achieve their dreams by coaching too, assuming you're qualified.
wasted wrote:
Has anyone else ever felt depression or despair after working hard for something and failing? How did you get over it? I really feel like there is no meaning to my life.
I remember feeling like this my last year in HS. I had worked so hard for so many years and my senior year was spent dealing with an injury, just when I was rounding back into shape I came down with mono. That was it. I was done. All those races, all those miles, weekends spent at track meets, Friday nights in early because of the meet the next day... it all seemed like I had wasted my time. I felt like a fool for putting so much effort into something so trivial.
There was going to be no college running. No coaches looking at me. All I ever wanted was to run in college. I knew I wasn't some future Olympian, but I was good enough to compete in college. It was absolutely devastating.
I will admit that it took me awhile to shake it. I hated running. Hated hearing about. It just brought up bad feelings. I need to read Magness book, The Passion Paradox. I've only skimmed sections and excerpts from magazines, but I fell into exactly the trap he's discussing. My whole identity was ______ The Runner.
But that's the trick right? In order to elevate above the others you DO have to care enough to make those sacrifices, to put in the extra miles. You have to go all in.
Eventually I did run in college, but it was at a smaller program. I took a year away from running , enrolled in school as a regular student- eventually I walked on, then got a scholarship. It was the long hard way around it, but it worked out OK.
My only advice is to just get away from the sport, do all those other activities that you didn't do due to running. Go rock climbing, hiking, lift weights, jujitsu... whatever... just get way from it.
Dur wrote:
sfsfsafafafa wrote:
You sound like a 22 year old. Find other interested. Nobody should be this lopsided.
Good point. If you are 22, you have your whole life in front of you. If you're 32 with no professionnal experience or advanced education or love life or real friends because you dedicated yourself to running while living in a van down by the river only to be a 2:30 guy, you should be depressed.
Truer words have never been spoken on this website.
wasted wrote:
Has anyone else ever felt depression or despair after working hard for something and failing? How did you get over it? I really feel like there is no meaning to my life.
Yeah sometimes we feel this way.
The question is at what exactly did you fail in running?
You probably didn't fail at running you probably failed to achieve your high goals.
Nothing wrong with setting high goals but you have to except that you will not always reach them.
Anyway maybe time to pick up a second hobby like traveling, climbing, cooking or gardening.
Many of us have gone through something similar. The key for me to getting out of the funk was this:
1.) Keep exercising. You can't go from running 80miles+ a week to nothing and expect there to be no negative impact on your mental health. Exercise can be powerful anti-depressant . I realized when I stopped competing that I had been unintentionally self medicating my anxiety with exercise for most of my life.
2.) Find a tribe. You may have also lost your social network when you quit running. Get out there. Find people who like being around and start hanging out with them. If you have trouble join club or rec sports team. I was able to find awesome group of friends at my local climbing gym. Crossfit is also a great way to meet like minded people if you are into that sort of thing.
3.) Eat well. Keep up any healthy eating habits you had as a runner. Poor diet can have a huge impact on your state of mind.
4.) Learn to love the process. This was something I started doing when I was still running. I found ways to love getting out a bed a 6am for a shake out or interval session. When I quite running I tried to expand that to other areas of my life. Enjoy your morning coffee. Find things you love about your job and engage with them. I found a daily mediation practice can really help with this
5.) Get outside. Go for trial runs, hikes, walks, bike rides or anything that will get you into nature. We are programed to be outside and just simply spending time in nature can help reduce your anxiety and improve you mental state. Simply taking a walk in a local park on your lunch break or on your way to work is a good place to start.
I found that once I starting to doing all those things purpose started to creep back into my life. I made new friends, I found new goals and overall I am as content and happy as I ever was when I was running full-time.
I don't think you necessarily need to get away from running. If you like doing it a on more recreational level than way not keep it up? Or maybe start coaching? Not saying that taking a step back is wrong move but I don't think that is good advice for everyone.
Gramps wrote:
sdfgh wrote:
You want proof? You should know the truth when you see it. Go look up the autobiography of Thomas A Edison. You'll find it in his own words. On the very first page he goes into how he never gives up. Look it up.
Bullcrap. He stole from others, including Nikola Tesla.
Yeah, Edison was not the best guy. He went around electrocuting animals and eventually a human as part of a smear campaign to try to smear Tesla / Westinghouse. The electric chair was basically his attempt to convince people to stay away from the AC power that Westinghouse / Tesla were advocating and flock to DC power that GE was pushing.
https://knowledgenuts.com/2013/10/19/edison-publicly-tortured-animals-to-discredit-ac-power/Back to the original topic, there are plenty of hobbies out there besides running. You could always become an ultra runner if you are tired of real running, you could climb mountains, you could take up fly fishing, you could learn to kayak, or if you are truly lacking direction, you could always go and join a cult.
Running in and of itself is not a cure all fulfilling activity. I would genuinely consider thinking about your priorities and achieving a new level of balance.
It sounds like you may have approached running like a job. You were working towards a goal.
Looking back on my 44 years of running I see a pattern. Though never talented (training hard to break 1:20 for a half marathon) I ran 33 marathons (2- 50K's). 12 of which were trail marathons.
The road marathons were run with a goal in mind (breaking 2:50). You can't run trail marathons for time for a variety of reasons, like accuracy and elevation changes. I now know I ran the road marathons for ego gratification and the trail marathons for fun.
Running for hours in the forests or mountains is like being a kid again. I haven't been able to run for two months because of a knee injury and would give anything to be able to spend a Sunday morning running for 4 hours in the mountains without the pressure of finishing in a specific time.
"You are extremely lucky." You're in a position to drop the competitiveness that drove you and run for the sheer pleasure and enjoyment of running in the woods. Find a picturesque trail marathon and go have fun. Who know, you may eventually find yourself running ultras. FOR FUN.
wasted wrote:
Has anyone else ever felt depression or despair after working hard for something and failing? How did you get over it? I really feel like there is no meaning to my life.
I don't have an answer, but I do know you came to the right place...
wasted wrote:
Has anyone else ever felt depression or despair after working hard for something and failing? How did you get over it? I really feel like there is no meaning to my life.
I like what Yong-Sung Leal (former HS phenom who ran 9:00 as a soph) said when he decided to stop running in his early 20s:
"Well it looks like I have to officially hang up the running shoes for good. Just too many foot problems. But it's ok because even though I did not achieve my fundamental goal of becoming an Olympian, I felt like an Olympic champ every day I went out for a run, swim, and long bike ride. Life is not about the end result but about the FIGHT you put in every day to pursue a passion that inspires you. I hope that you all can find peace and solace in all that you do every day. Don't worry about success. Worry about your daily fight. For if you fight as hard as you can every day to persue your passion, you can be proud of your efforts and can inspire others to do the same. This way even in death, your legacy of your epic fight will live on FOREVER. Thank you all for your support and live to inspire."
It's cheesy and hackneyed, but true. Think of the thousands of days you laced up and went out the door — maybe even through thunderstorms, extreme heat, or blizzards. You put in effort every day, likely for years. That's not failure.
I like that quote, but what if you don't have anything to fight for?
buy a shrimp boat
It's about the journey not the ..............
Screw it stop being such a little wus. Go grab a beer and then get over it.
No, I've always been good at coming up with new goals. OP, just think of the next new thing to work toward.
wasted wrote:
Has anyone else ever felt depression or despair after working hard for something and failing? How did you get over it? I really feel like there is no meaning to my life.
yeah meaning is all about hormones how you is nuthin but hormones and that is why i RUN
sdfgh wrote:
What I am about to tell you should change your life:
Thomas Edison, the great inventor, tried so many things and failed countless times. For just the discovery of the light bulb filament he tried 10,000 different materials! Imagine how the average person would have felt at number 12 or 23 or 78? Total failure! But not Thomas Edison. He knew the power of keeping on. So don't despair. Stay positive and it will happen! I know this is true because I have done it. Right now I'm going through a rough cycle but I know I will come out ok because I know what I just described above.
Just came in here to say, "Moran". Edison was a capitalist first, constantly taking advantage of his employees and anybody else he could steal from or exploit. A true American hero really.
Regardless of what Edison was or was not the fact is his method of trying and never giving up does indeed have a power to it. You would know this if you tried it. Only a small percentage of people carry on. The common theme of most people is "I tried and tried but failed so I gave up". There is no way the light filament was discovered by trying a few materials. It's is obvious that many, many materials were tried. Then he discovered a carbon based filament.
that's how Faustian bargains work