I just moved to a new town. People here split checks at restaurants evenly instead of by item. Is this normal?

Yeah this is pretty much accepted by people who can afford to go out. If a few dollars will break you then you shouldn't be going out. It's just easier all around than figuring who owes what. And no restaurant wants itemize bills for each individual person. If it's a large group or just drinks then you can throw in cash for what you owe or just Venmo someone.

cheapskate wrote:

Yeah this is pretty much accepted by people who can afford to go out. If a few dollars will break you then you shouldn't be going out. It's just easier all around than figuring who owes what. And no restaurant wants itemize bills for each individual person. If it's a large group or just drinks then you can throw in cash for what you owe or just Venmo someone.

Hey jerk, I'm not broke. I just hate paying an extra 2-3 bucks everytime so my millennial nephews can drink red wine and try to act sophisticated. I bring a little notebook with me and have been tracking it for the last 6 months. 4 meals, an average of $4.37 overpay per meal. They have cost me the price of an entire meal for myself after just 6 months. Gotta nip this one in the bud.

For Christmas I'm going to send them the pics of those bottles of wine, along with the price for each one. Then they'll get it.

Welcome to adulthood.

I actually agree philosophically with separate checks, especially cause I tend to eat/drink more than average and would feel guilty about others subsidizing me, as well as on the other end when someone orders something outlandishly expensive. So it’s more about an inherent sense of fairness.

That said, where I live it’s normal for one person to pick up the whole check and then the other person gets next round/next time which is pretty much what my friends and I do. And it’s usually like “I’ll get dinner” “No no I’ll get dinner you get the first round at [blah blah bar]” and it all evens out eventually.

As an American who’s been living overseas in places where tipping is unheard of, I think the practice itself is absolutely ridiculous. But if you really care about it one of the easiest ways to account for minor variations in the cost of people’s meals in tipping cultures is to tip different amounts. If I had $22 meal and you had an $18 meal, we’ll each pay $20 on our cards (or whatever the split is if there’s tax), and I’ll tip $6 and you tip $2.

i'm not broke wrote:

Hey jerk, I'm not broke. I just hate paying an extra 2-3 bucks everytime so my millennial nephews can drink red wine and try to act sophisticated. I bring a little notebook with me and have been tracking it for the last 6 months. 4 meals, an average of $4.37 overpay per meal. They have cost me the price of an entire meal for myself after just 6 months. Gotta nip this one in the bud.

Welcome to adulthood.

Why are you going out with your millennial nephew so much if you don't like him. I'm sure he'd be fine not going out with his bitter cheapskate uncle. And how does $4.37 x 4 add up to one meal. That's not even a tip at an adult restaurant. If a big night out for you is a $13 meal, then yes, you are broke. You also forgot to add in the cost of the notebook pages and the pencil lead you used to to write in it.

Just wait until you have kid(s) and go out to eat with another family and split the bill. Now you have a ~$150-200 bill being split evenly. I shudder to think of the discrepancy, especially if your family is smaller (by number or pounds on the scale) than the other :O

I agree...except for my Proctologist. I tipped him because I can't handle performing my own colonoscopy.

I would be very surprised if I asked for separate checks somewhere and the bill came back anything other than itemized by seat. That said, with my friends we generally split checks unless we think there is a big discrepancy (like someone isn't drinking that night and we get multiple rounds of drinks). We go out enough that it will balance out eventually. When there is a big discrepancy we might still split if we can cover it by having people tip different amounts. If not, generally one person will put the whole thing on their card and everyone will venmo that person their share. (And nobody is scrutinizing this for a missing dollar or two)(For reference my friend's ages span from about 30-35).

Thinking back to high school and early college when everyone would fight over how much each person owed and try to pay only exactly what they owed down to the cents is horrifying to me. I will provide the caveat that none of us are anywhere near broke, so that would (possibly?) change things.

where did I say it would cover a 'big night out' ? $13 is more than enough to get a square meal almost anywhere in the country.

I've been organizing family dinners with my extended relations since my dad became terminally ill. In-laws I never even knew I had have been circling like flies ever since they heard and someone has to keep an eye on them or there won't be nothing left but bones.

HMM...wrote:

Splitting the check evenly is normal - dividing it up by what each person ate is the sign of a true cheapskate. I will not go out to eat with people who don't split it evenly.

A true cheapskate is the guy who expects other people to subsidize his expensive food and drink.

Better order a martini then and get your money's worth.

Years ago, when most people carried cash, when dining out with friends after the bill came everybody would throw out cash for what they felt they owed, someone would gather it up, count it, compare it to the bill, and if it was sufficient to cover the meal and tip that was it, if it was a little short, everybody would throw another $5 in.

Now that most of us don't carry cash anymore if we ask to have the bill split the waitress always comes back with itemized bills for everyone at the table.

One thing we do if a group is very large, 10+, and people are drinking a lot more than others is one person will pay the whole bill and then itemize afterward and everyone will venmo the payer.

Sucks about your dad. Sounds like you have some issues with family members that go beyond splitting a check. You're probably better off dealing with those issues than making it about a $4.37 difference in a bill.

cheapskate wrote:

And no restaurant wants itemize bills for each individual person.

It’s their job. I waited tables in undergrad at a restaurant with no computer system, so I’m aware that splitting checks is mildly annoying for the server. But it was part of my job, and I absolutely do not think that any customer should decide how to split up their check based on the preferences of the waiter.

THIS ^^^^

Successful people budget their personal finances appropriately so that they can afford to be generous with others, because generosity is an important part of doing business. The man who picks up a dinner check for his colleagues or loved ones doesn't think of what he is losing, but rather what he is gaining by creating a network of friends and allies. Generosity begets generosity. You never know what favors people can do for you if you are willing to do favors for them.

People who judge everything by what it costs them in dollars and cents operate from a more generalized attitude of scarcity, and therefore make decisions out of fear and anxiety, whereas people who practice generosity operate from a generalized attitude of abundance, therefore making decisions with confidence and self-assuredness.

I have lived all over the place, and while restaurants vary in their approaches, I prefer even splits.

If everyone enjoys a similar amount of food and drink, it seems petty in spirit to end the time together sorting out whose appetizer or drink choice came to a couple of dollars more or less. (Yes, I get that it doesn't take any trouble, but that isn't the point.)

To simply in effect say to your friend, 'hey, we had a great time doing this together,' and split it down the middle is just more...friendly.

Of course, you need to have faith that your friend or friends will not run up a crazy tab and abuse things. And that reinforces the whole point: people showing some class to one another, and knowing (without checking) that class is being shown to them. You aren't in the sort of group where anyone would let their friends way overpay, right?

Make sense?

Ever have ONE (1) person use their card, and the rest pay their portion of the meal + tip via...

VENMO**

Apple Pay**

Pay Pal**

Cash app?

It saves time. Plus it reduces the stress of having the wait staff make mistakes when splitting multiple checks, and/or possibly running the wrong card for the wrong bill.

I

Do you really think the same group of people who are doing long division on the table cloth to make sure their nephew didn't milk an extra 22 cents out of them is going to even have one member willing to put the entire bill on their card?!?

That's like 200 bucks that they losing use of in their credit line, and possibly even paying interest on. Are you INSANE!?!

I could see it working if everyone figured out the likely compound interest and chipped in a little extra to cover the card holder's possible expenses. Then again, if the cardholder is getting airline miles, then the noncard holders need to reduce their payments downward to reflect the value of the miles the cardholder is gaining at their expense.

Maybe if we called the credit card company they could split up the mileage award among the 9 of us? Just one idea.

When I used to go for happy hours with coworkers, people would throw down money as they left and the last person would settle the bill. Invariably there was too much money at the end even with a very generous tip. One person held on to the extra money over time and we'd occasionally go out without anyone needing to pay.

Same thing with dinners or lunches. If someone orders something extra they voluntarily pay more ("I had the lobster, let me pay extra"). I've rarely had a problem with folks over-ordering and underpaying.