My running goals (and the work required to meet those goals) conflicts with my wife’s happiness.

Correction to title - should say *conflict*

For sure, train while she's sleeping and never say you're too tired to do anything she wants to do together with you... By the way...Pics?

here's a thought: ask her, or more likely, get up the courage to ask a girl out before you begin to worry about these kinds of hypotheticals

Going through life alone will suck.

When you are injured she's still there.

Running is free, divorce is expensive.

I don’t think it’s a binary choice - run or have a wife. There is a happy medium somewhere.

It's good to have dreams, pal, but these hypothetical dreams of being good at running and having a wife are only dreams at this point. Get back to us when these dreams become reality.

In a bind wrote:

Assuming this is true, how do you handle this situation? Easy to say that she is your priority but what about those who say you can’t make someone else happy if you’re not happy? In other words, I wouldn’t be any good to her if I had to stop running competitively?

When my wife and I had our first baby in May, I realized that there was potential for my triple digit weeks to negatively impact her happiness. So, I started setting my alarm for 4:30 everyday and I get my 10.7 mile loop in while my wife and baby sleep. My coworkers surprised me with a Bob IronMan stroller before the baby came and,

if my wife is feeling overwhelmed, baby joins me on my evening 5.3 mile loop. Life is good.

No kids but I do all my runs in the early morning before work. That’s not the problem. It’s recovering from workouts. Getting enough sleep. Staying off your feet as much as possible. Eating right. My wife likes to travel a lot. I used to run with her too until it became a drain on my own ability to run well.

I feel like this is way more common than others ever bring up...

Not sure why wives/ girlfriends get all pissy when you have something you are committed to, like running, but complain whenever you run for several hours. They also gripe if you get fat. No win situation. I’ve tried to drag the lady on runs, but she walks at like mile 1 or if we do trail runs, she stops like every 50 feet to take pictures of rocks or a random bird. I set my alarm for 2:45 am for weekday runs

and run at normal times during the weekend. Just stick to what makes you happy. For me, running is my stress outlet. Women waste plenty of time doing useless crap for more than the several hrs it may take me to run. Tell her to get a hobby or read a book if taking care of yourself offends her.

Oh and she should be grateful you spend time doing something that is healthy. Not like alcohol, drugs, or something dangerous. Tell her to stop being so clingy. Those types of women have self esteem issues. And besides, you picked RUNNING. It costs almost nothing.

Tell her chunky butt to be happy you aren’t into triathlons, alpine skiing, or other more expensive endeavors.

GBohannon wrote:

In a bind wrote:

Assuming this is true, how do you handle this situation? Easy to say that she is your priority but what about those who say you can’t make someone else happy if you’re not happy? In other words, I wouldn’t be any good to her if I had to stop running competitively?

When my wife and I had our first baby in May, I realized that there was potential for my triple digit weeks to negatively impact her happiness. So, I started setting my alarm for 4:30 everyday and I get my 10.7 mile loop in while my wife and baby sleep. My coworkers surprised me with a Bob IronMan stroller before the baby came and,

if my wife is feeling overwhelmed, baby joins me on my evening 5.3 mile loop. Life is good.

Same here, but lower mileage. Mostly 60-70 mi / wk, all singles before everyone is up. Sometimes I'll do a lunch run, but it varies. You have to be flexible! I'll run to church ahead of my wife so that while she's driving for 20 minutes, I'm running and meet her there. You'll have to get creative sometimes to keep the balance.

*disclaimer - I'm a little slower than both of you. :P

In a bind wrote:

No kids but I do all my runs in the early morning before work. That’s not the problem. It’s recovering from workouts. Getting enough sleep. Staying off your feet as much as possible. Eating right. My wife likes to travel a lot. I used to run with her too until it became a drain on my own ability to run well.

My wife does more walking than running. I do all of my normal runs and if she wants to exercise, I'll go with for the extra benefit and the together time. Recovering from workouts is a questionable term. My opinion is that you need to suck it up on that one.

I see these threads pop up all the time on here. It is mostly guys complaining about their wives. Ladies of LRC have you encountered a similar situation in your lives, where your husband is the antagonist? Why so against running?

Make sure that your second wife fully supports your training requirements.

In a bind wrote:

No kids but I do all my runs in the early morning before work. That’s not the problem. It’s recovering from workouts. Getting enough sleep. Staying off your feet as much as possible. Eating right. My wife likes to travel a lot. I used to run with her too until it became a drain on my own ability to run well.

Speaking from experience, someday you will realize how meaningless it all is.

You’ll realize you spent all that time and energy for some fleeting moments of perceived glory being “competitive” in hobby jogger races.

Run enough to stay healthy and compete to a certain extent. But when it’s all said and done, it’s pretty much a meaningless pursuit.

LetsEatDoughnutsInstead wrote:

GBohannon wrote:

When my wife and I had our first baby in May, I realized that there was potential for my triple digit weeks to negatively impact her happiness. So, I started setting my alarm for 4:30 everyday and I get my 10.7 mile loop in while my wife and baby sleep. My coworkers surprised me with a Bob IronMan stroller before the baby came and,

if my wife is feeling overwhelmed, baby joins me on my evening 5.3 mile loop. Life is good.

Same here, but lower mileage. Mostly 60-70 mi / wk, all singles before everyone is up. Sometimes I'll do a lunch run, but it varies. You have to be flexible! I'll run to church ahead of my wife so that while she's driving for 20 minutes, I'm running and meet her there. You'll have to get creative sometimes to keep the balance.

Yes, sometimes a little creativity is key. Great point.

(Not in response to doughnuts) Also - I wouldn’t view my wife as the “antagonist” as she doesn’t nag me or anything. She supports my running. I just recognize that it would be uncool of me to spend 2 hrs a day out running while she is stuck fending for herself and the baby.

As for staying off my feet, sleeping enough, ice baths, stretching, foam rolling, etc - I don’t do those things. No time. I would rather spend that time running or with family. I get about 6-7 hrs per night and I do whatever my wife wants on weeknights, weekends etc. I enjoy it. I run slow on easy days (7:30-8:00) and only do one hard sessio and one medium session per week (during my long run) so I never feel like I need much recovery.

Does this “easy” running schedule with no real recovery negatively affect my running? Maybe a bit. I’ve still been happy with my improvement curve though.

I don't believe your wife is being fair about your running. It's a healthy pursuit, especially compared to guys that work long hours and play golf on weekends. If you give in, she is likely to move on to something else she doesn't like.

I ran in HS and college. I wasn't great (4:25 1500 PR), but the whole experience was fun and satisfying. I no longer run competitively and haven't gone over 30 MPW in years, but if anyone wants to drag me away from my planned run, it needs to be for work-related reasons, a medical emergency, or something exciting.

You want me to skip my run so that we can ride dirt bikes this weekend/hunt deer/go skiing? Sure, let's go! But no, I will not give up my run to shop at a fashion store with you or to watch that chick flick that I have no interest in.

The problem is that most women aren't interested in things that guys like, which creates conflict even if running is no longer one of the most important things in your life.