How frequently does your girlfriend/wife get upset for no reason or have a meltdown?

Almost very girl you date?

It really sounds like the problem or trigger is you? I've honestly never had that problem.

Don't reason.

First rule of relationships: never attempt to reason when a person is in the emotional state.

Listen.

Occasionally say "uh huh" or "tell me more" or "I know" or "Thank you" while exuding as much empathy as possible.

But again Listen.

asdfasdfsafdfsdf wrote:

Almost very girl you date?

It really sounds like the problem or trigger is you? I've honestly never had that problem.

it gets worse If your GF/wife was attractive and hot when younger and then she hits menopause. She doesn' t get the attention, favors, and compliments any more, which comes as a shock to her and she'll hit you over the head with her disgust for men. "Its like I'm invisible," she'll say. "I deserve respect! Let me speak to the manager."

Thats why all the old broads had the pussyhat march on Washington and continue to support Hillary..they're all in the same leaky boat.

You have described my insanely beautiful wife of 13 years to a T. This morning I woke up from a dream where I was finally telling her pretty much everything you said in this post. I do love her, but she drives me nuts. I never know what is going to set her off, but the dumbest thing puts her in a bad mood and then i'm getting bitched at. if i treated her the way she treats me it would be considered abusive. I put up with it for 2 reasons:

(a) she is smoking hot, and she loves sex. even though she spends half her life mad at me for god knows what, we still have sex 10-15 times a week. no exaggeration.

(b) we have kids, and I will never fight with her in front of them, or have a fight that will drag on until we're in their presence. I was traumatized by my parents doing this (they eventually divorced) and I will not do this to my children.

i wish you all the best.

Strongly believe that drama is a cry for attention more than anything else. There is always an issue that sets it off, but in my opinion it's rarely ever about THAT issue. It's a combination of things going on. Everyone has different levels of drama naturally, some people thrive on it, others rarely do it. Either way, in my opinion, it's negative behavior that is oriental to happiness or any positive outcomes.

The real problem is that drama is about attention. Most people, when someone comes at them bitching with drama naturally want to respond with arguments and saying why they aren't at fault. Or they don't like the drama and flat out try to use anger or commands to control it. All of this is attention. When someone acts like this, and you give them ANY attention, you're reinforcing that drama works and they get your attention.

Moreover, drama is never justifiable behavior. Let's say you left a giant mess before you went to work and your wife came home to that mess, and then flew off the handle at you. I think we would agree the husband made a mistake and is "at fault" in this situation. However, if it's met with drama (any harsh, negative emotions directed at you), it's unacceptable. That is neither warranted nor is it an adult way to act. If you screwed up, there are polite, adult ways to discuss that, and then there is drama.

I genuinely think the only option is to completely remove yourself from the situation. Politely of course, but leave. Don't get in a discussion about it, don't argue, just leave. Then later, when you return, you can calmly discuss the issue (if there was an actual source of frustration) like rational adults.

20 years of marriage. Maybe 5-7 times ever. She is more stable than I. Lol

Gramps, that's really funny. And I think that there's some truth in it too.

Yes ... this is why I decided to live alone in celibacy. It's working great. I have

come to the point I never even think of women anymore.

My wife’s boyfriend gets angry sometimes if I’m not paying close enough attention while he’s banging her. I don’t mind the punishment though.

Married 12 years - this never happens. My wife is about as low maintenance as it gets. She's never had a meltdown.

I can count on one hand the number of times where she got upset for seemingly no reason. It turns out, she had reasons. Some were legit, some were stupid. When they were stupid, she said sorry. When they were legit, I apologized.

I tend to agree with the other posters in believing that the OP is the problem. But, many folks these days seem to be into drama, so I'd put my confidence level that he's the problem at 92%.

Common denominator here is you... figure it out.

You should write a travel blog about places you’ve never been.

We 8.5+’s don’t have meltdowns when a guy merits one. We move on.

Yeah no wrote:

You should write a travel blog about places you’ve never been.

We 8.5+’s don’t have meltdowns when a guy merits one. We move on.

An 8.5+ hottie posting on LetsRun? Ce n'est pas possible!

noname131 wrote:

Yes ... this is why I decided to live alone in celibacy. It's working great. I have

come to the point I never even think of women anymore.

+1

Bless you my son. I'm still working on that last part, though.

I am a cunning linguist. AMA. wrote:

Yeah no wrote:

You should write a travel blog about places you’ve never been.

We 8.5+’s don’t have meltdowns when a guy merits one. We move on.

An 8.5+ hottie posting on LetsRun? Ce n'est pas possible!

Mais oui. We travel these here lands incognito, not in the packs you may have observed at your local bar. The lack of vocal fry use may tip you off.

Theres an episode of Two and a half Men where Alans ex wife and her girlfriends are all acting out and Charlie Sheen reacts to all of their bitching by saying to each of them, very seriously : "I understand."

And it works great. Calms them down. Theres some truth in that sort of reaction even though its insincere.

Take notes on this stuff, Wejo, everything's sunshine and balloons now, but in the future, one poor attempt at humor, a sarcastic comment, inattention at the wrong moment...and its the dog house, or the couch, or hot tongue and cold shoulder in the sack for days, for you and you wont know why.

Yeah no wrote:

I am a cunning linguist. AMA. wrote:

An 8.5+ hottie posting on LetsRun? Ce n'est pas possible!

Mais oui. We travel these here lands incognito, not in the packs you may have observed at your local bar. The lack of vocal fry use may tip you off.

That explains it. It's very confusing and upsetting to me when a woman opens her mouth and doesn't sound like Kim K. I just try to tune it out.

GoatZenHeimer wrote:

“Take a man. Take away accountability and reason, and you have a woman.”

- Jack Nicholson, As Good As It Gets

How do you write women so well?

I think of a man. And I take away reason and accountability.

I am a cunning linguist. AMA. wrote:

Yeah no wrote:

Mais oui. We travel these here lands incognito, not in the packs you may have observed at your local bar. The lack of vocal fry use may tip you off.

That explains it. It's very confusing and upsetting to me when a woman opens her mouth and doesn't sound like Kim K. I just try to tune it out.

+1

Even Katy Perry will sound like a broken record and look weatherbeaten at some point, mon ami.