Why soo many young single moms?

sbeefyk2 wrote:

There’s this new movement with the younger generations that girls want to fix a man rather than marry someone who has this stuff together.

A new movement?

Singlecollegeguy wrote:

Put another way... wrote:

Different way of asking the same question: why sooooo many men who won't man up and take some responsibility??!!?!!

Good point. The reason I asked my question the way i did was because typically woman get stuck with the baby making their lives incredibly difficult.

In a similar vein, I am struck by the number of older, single women raising their grandchildren, full time, and also working.

The daddy is on drugs somewhere or in prison and the mom is on drugs and unreliable.

Too many restrictions on getting an abortion. Thanks, Trump/Pence!

Pope Pius the Chief wrote:

Singlecollegeguy wrote:

That's a topic for a different forum but it's not okay to kill unborn babies just because the mother didn't plan on having one or it's an inconvenience to her.

It didn't take long to trigger a religious zealot.

You know, since your religion thinks a fetus is a human then an abortion gives it a ticket to heaven and it never has to be tempted by the sinners on earth.

Brilliant! "I had an abortion because I wanted to make sure my kid went to heaven." Seriously loves this.

Grow up wrote:

Religious bullshit? Not at all. The numbers are growing, and even at this point most people agree that abortion is morally wrong -- whether they are religious or not. Kind of like how most people agree that killing is morally wrong, whether they are religious or not.

I think this mostly depends on your social circles.

I don't think there's anything amoral about abortion, and neither do most of the people I've discussed it with. My assumption has been that finding abortion morally wrong comes just along with religious beliefs about magical imbuement of that particular group of cells with a "soul" or something like that.

Because your country does not give birth control for free to underage girls? cause you don't have proper sex education? cause there's still a lot of religious bullshit concerning abortion?

++++++++++

What is the evidence for this? 100 years ago, even 50 years ago, there was no free birth control, there was less sex education in schools, legal abortion was harder to obtain but there were many fewer single moms.

The real change is cultural. It no longer has the negative peer, family and social pressure it used to have. That is unfortunate.

Not practicing birth control?

Had Some Myself wrote:

Grow up wrote:

Religious bullshit? Not at all. The numbers are growing, and even at this point most people agree that abortion is morally wrong -- whether they are religious or not. Kind of like how most people agree that killing is morally wrong, whether they are religious or not.

I think this mostly depends on your social circles.

I don't think there's anything amoral about abortion, and neither do most of the people I've discussed it with. My assumption has been that finding abortion morally wrong comes just along with religious beliefs about magical imbuement of that particular group of cells with a "soul" or something like that.

This makes me think of the story from 1972 about the Manhattan woman who could not understand how Nixon had won the election since no one she knew had voted for him.

Many all too are often indeed attracted to bad boys, and in a thought process rife with a lack of humilty and realism, think having a baby is a way to give meaning to their lives and to their relationship with their guy, who in many cases cannot take care of himself. I think the abortion issue deserves its own discussion, because what is relevant here is a culture that drives all too often lousy outcomes.

And for you young single guys out there, do not date a single mother, especially since there are plenty of women out there with whom you do not have to deal with the burdens of raising another man’s child.

Lots of dead beat dads

Grown Up wrote:

OP, you're hanging with that crowd. Change crowds.

This is a good post. I notice that there's a type of crowd where everyone is like, "this baby mama, that baby daddy" (single mom slang) etc. as if it's a very common thing with them. They sort of normalize it. And again, not the crowd you want to associate with. A lot of times the guy actually wants to stay with her because paying child support is a b**** but the woman may be too crazy or unstable for him to want to stay around the drama (think cheating, personality and immaturity issues). Other times yes, the guy just doesn't want any responsibility or is just too selfish.

Singlecollegeguy wrote:

Hey so I'm a 22 year old college student and I've noticed that there are a ton of single mothers in my area that are my age and younger. It sucks because I'll meet a beautiful girl in class and talk to her but then later I'll find she already has a child. It's crazy for me at 22 to be seeing so many girls in my age group, often younger then me being single moms. It's not just at school either i see them all the time on tinder. Or when i go on dates it seems like all my dates have friends that are single moms. Is this just a southern California thing or is this across the USA?

I'm a woman, and I'd love to give you the answer to this, but its a mystery to me as well. I'd quite like to have more female friends who are up for doing fun things together, such as travelling or going to races together, or even having a reasonably interesting discussion about stuff other than babycare, but so many of them become single mothers. Its almost as if they don't want to be seen as in any way controversial in case it puts men off them for having too much an independent character. So just some comments from personal experience:

- obviously, none of the single mothers practice birth control effectively. Occasionally, birth control fails but most of my friends who are single mothers (and despite me being university educated and a professional, I still know a high number) admit to not having done anything about birth control. Its really not that difficult.

- from observation, many of them seem obsessed from an early age by getting a man in their life, preferably one financially able to support them so they don't have to work. So they organise their lives around this aim. A surprising number of men seem quite happy with this but often its not the man who fathers their children, who is often put right off by their producing an unplanned child.

- quite often, one unplanned child is followed by another, again with a miraculous inability to use birth control, and either by the same father or a different reluctant man.

I do think there is still a bit of sexism in society that encourages these women to be totally lacking in aspiration so that they see having a baby as the culmination of some kind of life goal. Its depressing. If abortion were more readily available, rather than women being encouraged to have children in all circumstances, it would make all sorts of changes to their aspirations. Again, if birth control were a little bit easier to obtain, it might encourage a more responsible attitude in those who aren't that well organised. I'm in the UK, and I know here you need to wait several weeks for an appointment to get a contraceptive implant, and the attitude of doctors and nurses can be quite brutal - you are treated like a silly little girl who is a bit of a nuisance and doing something that is somehow morally judged, even if you are a decent, well organised professional woman. You are shouted at and not treated well. Non-NHS birth control services such as Marie Stopes are poorly funded and under-staffed, although much more helpful. Its hard to get an appointment without taking time off work and if you have a new boyfriend, it makes sense to offer appointments much more quickly. However, its not seen as a priority.

Many men seem to quite like, almost prefer single mothers and shy away from the few women who are a bit more choosy about how they lead their lives.

My advice to you would be to meet a more genuine woman through your athletics club or through some other sport, who has some interest in life other than dating and getting a man, and who also has an education and a career path ahead of her. Then hopefully one day, when you are both much older, you can plan children together if that's what you both want. Don't look for someone who spends all their time with their family, but someone who has a good range of friends that they do interesting things with, rather than night clubs or parties all the time. Someone who feels passionate (but not obsessed) about something, even music - it doesn't have to be sport. That's often a person who is a little bit less superficial. Avoid Tinder. There are exceptions, but nice, genuine women don't need to go on Tinder to meet men.

I've got several friends who just frustrate me. One of them is actually a pharmacist, yet she has managed to get pregnant by 3 different boyfriends, all of them unplanned, and all of them leading to failed relationships. She has basically made a disaster of her whole life by repeatedly getting pregnant by boyfriends she has been seeing for less than six months. Another had two children when she was 17 and 21 by the same on-off boyfriend who then left her, spent 10 years with an unemployed man who treated her really badly, married him, divorced him and immediately got pregnant within 3 months of getting together with a new boyfriend. They are still together, but she is now totally dependent on him. Some people just don't learn, or don't want to learn. Believe me, its depressing for women as well, because as I say, it would be really nice to have some female friends I could do stuff with outside of running.

Had Some Myself wrote:

I think this mostly depends on your social circles.

I don't think there's anything amoral about abortion, and neither do most of the people I've discussed it with. My assumption has been that finding abortion morally wrong comes just along with religious beliefs about magical imbuement of that particular group of cells with a "soul" or something like that.

In that case you must not think much at all.

If someone has an abortion when they are 9 months pregnant, you don't final anything about this morally objectionable? How about if the child gets born the day before the scheduled abortion, would it then be ok to murder the baby?

Now, no hiding behind, "99.9% of abortions are before N months". You stated that there is nothing amoral about abortion. So answer the questions above.

Thanks in advance for showing yourself and others that you really haven't thought about this whole issue in any meaningful way.

Single moms are great, I hit WELL above my weight thanks to them

Here's to you, moms!

Read the thread. The “cultural” change you’re talking about is no more child brides in the developed world...which I think most people that are disgusting pedophiles support. The prior post quoted below addresses you incorrect assumptions very well.....

Millennial of child brides and short life spans has biologically conditioned humans to want to have sex starting in their teens. But technology and progress (better medicine = longer lifespans, people becoming more educated / literate) has lead to no more child brides (or least not in civilized, developed cultures...if you’re into child brides you should join ISIS). But the biological drive to have sex is still there and simply saying “don’t do that” to kids will not work. The solution is real sex education and free access to contraceptives. These things have been shown to lower the rates of abortion significantly in places like Colorado.

How about infanticide? A baby can't really do anything until it is a few month old, maybe 6 months. Why don't we let single moms drown the kids in a bath tub so their lives can get back to normal?

To the people talking about free birth control. Even if you don't have it where you live or don't have insurance to get it, let me ask. What's more expensive, having a child or spending a few bucks on condoms?

Dur wrote:

How about infanticide? A baby can't really do anything until it is a few month old, maybe 6 months. Why don't we let single moms drown the kids in a bath tub so their lives can get back to normal?

Are you a Swiftian or a psychopath?

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Read the thread. The “cultural” change you’re talking about is no more child brides in the developed world...which I think most people that are disgusting pedophiles support. The prior post quoted below addresses you incorrect assumptions very well.....

]

We'll agree that fewer child brides has been a factor as well as a single pregnant mom getting married within 9 months has reduced the number. But there is more to it than that. I can't quote any studies either way but my personal experience suggests that there are more single females over 22 getting pregnant now than 50 or more years ago. So I still believe that there is less cultural negative pressure associated with being a single mom by choice. The reduced societal pressure has also reduced the number of pregnant brides that we used to see which is increasing the number of single moms.