If you're doing well in life, is there anything wrong with living with your parents in your 30s and beyond?

Luv2Run wrote:

Get him out!

Would the parents even want him out? Having someone that pays rent and helps around the house is like getting free labor.

I moved to Banff at 18 to live the snowboard-bum life for while and it was awesome. After that I moved back home to go to university. I also took a while longer to mature than most and I wasn't focused enough for school until around 25 anyways so I don't really regret doing things in that order. I get your sentiments though, I need to gtfo asap.

There's nothing wrong with doing anything in life as long as you are not hurting someone else.

There's nothing wrong with it. George Costanza was a very well respected character who captured the essence of a winner in life.

old hobby jogger wrote:

Life in suburbs in a house is not exciting

Why not? You can drive to the city for things like museums, concerts, and sporting events, and you can also drive out to the country for some hunting and fishing. And unlike the city, you'll have enough space to have a pool, garden, home theater, jet ski, etc.

The burbs are quieter than the city, and unlike rural areas, getting groceries doesn't require a long drive.

I must say that I do a thing I don't really like or feel is particularly moral in threads like this; I hate read them.

Precious Roy is absolutely correct; multi-generational housing is in fact the human norm, and is generally (by which I mean almost universally) better for the human condition than the wasteful, materialistic, hedonistic, status obsessed, 'move out when I'm 18 because I want to show I'm independent and not low status' aspect of American pop culture that so many posters here exemplify. This is, bar none, the single worst part of American culture. (I actually tend to like a lot of American culture, and am not a self-hating American far-leftist; this is simply an awful part of what is otherwise mostly a good culture.)

Is there something wrong if the young man can't actually support himself at that age? Yes. That's not the question, though; if the person lives in the same city as his parents (i.e. their place is close to work) and is not married, the only scenario where I wouldn't honestly judge either the young adult or the parents a little if they didn't live in the same house is if the young adult lived with a group of roommates who were close friends.

Have I lived with my parents since 18 outside of summers? No, because I was never in the same city. Would I now if I moved back? No, because I'm married. That doesn't change the hard, cold fact that only new migrants (including to a new city in the same state) and refugees from recent abuse (most frequently from their families) have a decent reason to live alone.

Man was not meant to live alone. It's as simple as that.

^^ This.

I moved out at age 18 and never looked back. if you're financially independent and still living at home at age 29, you're either Italian or you have issues.

BTW, what no one here is saying is that parents today who allow this have issues too!

It is a little strange. I value my independence, so it would not be for me either as a parent or as the adult child.

That being said, I'm also not a fan of rent. In this situation it sounds like the adult child and parents don't have any issues with independence, or interacting with each other, and he's a respectful tenant. If he is going to be paying rent, perhaps he prefers it goes to his parents vs an unknown landlord.

I also wonder if situations like this (or some other version of this) will soon become the norm. Cost of providing long term care to our parents is rising at an astronomical rate, and as a previous poster mentioned - housing prices are back to pre 2008 levels and higher in certain areas of the country. I wouldn't be surprised if some form of parent-adult children cohabitation becomes more and more common.

These 2 things are mutually exclusive. Think of this question as a venn diagram with 2 distinct, non-overlapping circles.

This is basically it. I'm wrapping up my PhD and living at home with my partner so I can more easily find a job and get a place with them. There's nothing inherently wrong with living with parents, it's just that we've been told by the banks that we should get ourselves into pointless debt for so long that we've internalized cohabitating as a moral failing.

Maybe he's lonely and prefers to be with his parents instead of some random roommates. If his friends are married, he can't live with them.

Interestingly enough, I know someone who was just like this, with the exception that he did have his own place. He rented it out, used that income to pay for that home's mortgage and property tax, and lived with his parents. He bought that house right after the housing crash, so he's benefitted from some nice home appreciation since then.

To move forward in life we need to step out of our comfort zone. Since everything else is taken care of, maybe try moving into your own place, even if nearby, and start talking to women (or men if that's your thing).

Young people aren't willing to under live their parents. They want to graduate college and step right into the same level of house, neighborhood, etc as their parents who have worked for 20 years to get to that point.

Even in the most functional set up like you presented, a grown man with a job needs to be in his own place. (Not only does he need to be, he should WANT to be!)

Does your mom still breast feed you? Is the winging period over yet?

Cons: Limited freedom and independence

Pros: You get a larger inheritance and earlier retirement

Luv2Run wrote:

Get him out!

One phrase comes to mind: "Ma! The meatloaf!

Cheech wrote:

Luv2Run wrote:

Get him out!

One phrase comes to mind: "Ma! The meatloaf!

Given the description provided by the OP, I wouldn't be surprised if he cooks a better meal than his parents.

He's living with his folks because he doesn't want to be lonely, not because he wants to avoid paying rent or doing housework.

direwolf50 wrote:

I moved out at age 18 and never looked back. if you're financially independent and still living at home at age 29, you're either Italian or you have issues.

BTW, what no one here is saying is that parents today who allow this have issues too!

Exactly

Only a small part of being an adult is making a bunch of money. Living like an adult--paying bills, inviting girls over, going through the headache of buying a property, fixing things and maintaining your property--is not something you will experience living with your parents. Assuming normal circumstances, no reason to live at home in your 30s if you make six figures.

"But I'm saving a ton of money by living at home!"

Bull$hit. Saving it for what, that creepy road trip you're gonna take by yourself? You're just avoiding socializing with the opposite sex, and perhaps too afraid to sleep with the lights off at night.

My situation is similar to what some people described earlier in this thread. I have my own property but live with my parents for most of the year since it's often rented out.

Honestly, how hard is it to pay bills (set up automatic withdrawals), fix stuff (hire a roofer or plumber), or purchase a house (a one-time event that is less demanding and shorter than some of my college classes)?

So what if I take a solo road trip? I can go wherever I want, leave and stop whenever I want, and eat and stay at whichever restaurant and hotel I feel like. Can't do that with a wife and kids!

I love sleeping with the lights off, BTW. Camping 100+ miles from civilization on a moonless night and looking up at the stars is breathtaking.