If you're doing well in life, is there anything wrong with living with your parents in your 30s and beyond?

Nothing wrong with this, it is what Yuki Kawauchi is doing in fact. He also has a sub 14 minute 5k PR. However, if he decides to complete the fameous "letsrun triple" and marry a model hot wife, he may eventually be forced to move out of his mother's flat.

The expectations for this situation vary by culture.

I moved back in with my parents after college for six months due to the circumstances at the time. It didn't take too long for that situation to become unbearable because I was an anxious young lad and they were pretty set in their ways and wanted to enforce that upon me. Going back into that situation at this point in my life would definitely reach a boiling point because my parents are clearly starting to lose their minds and have become even more set in their ways.

This situation is being somewhat enabled by the parents. What are you doing to create an environment that makes it preferable to stay? If you don't want your son in your house anymore, you can simply tell him that he has 6 months or whatever to get his own place because he is perfectly capable of supporting himself. If there are underlying mental or emotional issues, those should be explored and addressed as well. It's important to offer understanding and listen to why your son might be hesitant to go out on his own. Most men, which I assume the OP is, are not good listeners and do not seek to understand but rather imprint their viewpoint while communicating.

Multi-generational housing used to be the norm. It wasn't until the mass production of housing in the early part of the 20th century that moving out of your parents house became an important part of developing as an adult. Prior to WWII, it was common for adult children to live in their childhood home with their parents and eventually take over ownership of the home and care for their elderly parents. In a way, this is a very economically efficient way to deal with housing. The children get the benefit of their parent's investment and having grandparents available for childcare while providing for their parents in old age without having to send them to a retirement community or nursing home.

With the advent of the McMansion and extreme rise in housing costs, it only seems logical to revisit multi-generational housing. The idea of children moving out and becoming independent is a bit arbitrary and leads to the breakdown of family structures and lonely and atomized individuals.

just saying... wrote:

Elephant in the room wrote:

Is the man child in question jamin by any chance?

I doubt jamin makes $100K+/year. He isn't in his 30s (yet) either.

Jamin is not known for telling the truth. He fudges the facts in weak attempts to protect his real identity.

mellow seeds wrote:

The ops son obviously has a mental disorder of some sort. You need to get him help before he hurts himself or someone else.

How is it even possible to get and hold a stable $100K+/year job if you have a mental disorder?

It's hard to tell if this is OK since everyone is different. If he has no life outside of work, this is just sad. But if he's going surfing with his buddies or something on the weekends and having fun outside, it's not an issue.

another opinion wrote:

mellow seeds wrote:

The ops son obviously has a mental disorder of some sort. You need to get him help before he hurts himself or someone else.

How is it even possible to get and hold a stable $100K+/year job if you have a mental disorder?

It's probably an anxiety disorder or something similar. Resistance to change, etc.

Does he vacuum the house, mow the lawn, and do the dishes and laundry?

Can he handle emergencies such as leaking roofs and flat tires without having to rely on his parents?

Does he have his own car, cell phone, computer, TV, etc. that he paid for himself?

Can he cook up a decent meal?

If his parents were away for a month, could he easily handle things?

Does he go out and have fun on the weekends?

If the answer is "yes" to all of the above questions, it's perfectly fine for him to live with his parents indefinitely.

“Happy 31st birthday, son.”

another opinion wrote:

mellow seeds wrote:

The ops son obviously has a mental disorder of some sort. You need to get him help before he hurts himself or someone else.

How is it even possible to get and hold a stable $100K+/year job if you have a mental disorder?

It's hard to tell if this is OK since everyone is different. If he has no life outside of work, this is just sad. But if he's going surfing with his buddies or something on the weekends and having fun outside, it's not an issue.

Are you serious? Being a sociopath is essentially a pre-requisite to becoming a billionaire. It takes a single minded, ruthless focus without concern for how your pursuit of making endless amounts of cash affects anyone else. There is research out there about the sociopathic tendencies of the executive suite crowd.

OK if:

1. Specific savings goal. Living at home to hoard cash for the following objectives:

- your own home

- capital to start a business

- head start on a nest egg

- "F-You" (this is not to be underestimated)

....all legit reasons in my opinion

2. Helping with parents who legit need care. Goes without saying, really.

There may be other legit reasons, but I can't think of any right now. Man up.

(Didn't they make a movie about this?)

some guy the fake one wrote:

Several things:

1. Real estate prices have EXPLODED in some parts of the country. Combine that with student loan payments that so many young adults have, and getting your own place - even renting - is truly a budgetary challenge for many.

Regarding student loans.. GO IN STATE!!! You'll probably still have some loans but there is no harm in going to State U and the loans will be smaller in general for in-state. Not to mention there are also typically merit scholarships for in state students that cover tuition.

It's not the university you go to as much as it is what you do in and out of school. Go to State Uni, co-op or intern during the summers, and get valuable work experience so that you're just as capable as the student who went to big name private school.

Student loan debt doesn't have to be that huge if you think smartly about it.

To add on to my above post, I finished state university with only $5K of student loan debt and used an in state scholarship (HOPE for Georgia residents) to fund my tuition.

See my previous post. Increasing numbers of young adults don't care about "getting a date". More people are staying single than perhaps any time before. So the whole "move out so you can get a date" thing isn't the motivator is was in past generations.

I live alone, but can state with complete confidence that I will never marry. That carrot would not have motivated me at all. I got out of my parent's house ASAP because I like being alone.

Because in the age of web cam and porn everywhere, people are just finding time to be with themselves and pleasure themselves instead of going out out and meeting people...

some guy the fake one wrote:

I got out of my parent's house ASAP because I like being alone.

That will change in time as you think about the prospect of not having anyone to hold a funeral for you when you die, no one to remember you, no one to bury you. You'll want to have a family.

Not so fast bro wrote:

I understand it's become vogue to stay with parents to "save money for a house", but that is complete bs. You can also save money for a house while renting. Or buy a cheaper house the first time around.

Great point. Just get a starter house, like under 60K, or a mobile home and then sell it or turn it into a rental once your job allows you to upgrade to a house in the 6-figure range.

I agree with you. I graduated debt free from the local directional state university. I sometimes have conversations with other young adults whose financial lives are crippled by the debt they rung up at far-away "prestigious" private schools. All to get the same degreebI did at South Central Podunk State.

markschultz2018k wrote:

some guy the fake one wrote:

I got out of my parent's house ASAP because I like being alone.

That will change in time as you think about the prospect of not having anyone to hold a funeral for you when you die, no one to remember you, no one to bury you. You'll want to have a family.

Bet I won't. I already have written in my last wishes that there will be no funeral or obituary announcement.

Unless you were a U.S. President or something, no one will remember you in a couple generations, either.

We are all quickly forgotten.

Assuming you have a good job and interesting hobbies, who ever has the most freedom wins.

Singles living on their own > Singles living with roommates > Singles living with parents > Married people > People with kids.