Anyone marry someone who is far less "successful" than you? Why?

married wrote:

If you're asked the question "who if your best friend" and the answer isn't "my wife" then you've married badly and, most probably, for the wrong reasons.

No, no, no! You should NOT marry your best friend. Having a real best friend who is not your spouse will make your marriage stronger.

You don't want to marry someone because they challenge you. You marry someone because they can be a great partner and parent.

GavinNewsome wrote:

You don't want to marry someone because they challenge you. You marry someone because they can be a great partner and parent.

How do you figure THAT?

You're asking me why I'd marry someone who would be a great partner and parent? Why that would be my priority?

Seems simple. Why would I marry someone who wouldn't be that? I got married at 32, so if I'm going to spend 50 years with her and we're going to encounter lots of challenges I want to be with someone who is going to first and foremost be putting us about everything else.

Neither - you need a good mix of both, and someone that 'fits' you. You see major issues with both, so they're not right for you.

Despite what a lot of people say here, high(ish) IQ is really very important if you want kids - it is up to 80% heritable. It amazes me when high IQ successful men go for the hot low-IQ bimbos; they invariably end up with horribly stupid children, and a wife they can't relate to - in any way - in a very few years post-marriage (once the hot sex and romance has gone out of it, she's put on weight and lost her looks). Now, that's a huge shame. We need more smart, empathetic people in this world.

I think you are going about this all wrong. You should be looking for someone who is just as shallow as you are....

RejectRunner wrote:

She had.......a very tight pusy

reject shut up as far as I know you are a highschool underclassman you aren't even married

I am going to make a rare non-abrasive post here. My best "older guy" advice is to ask yourself 2 questions:

1) "Is this a woman who I would want raising my kids?"

2) "Is this a woman who would happily take care of me when I am old and dying, and would I be happy to do the same for her?"

If either of these questions make you hesitate, she is not the woman for you.

Imagine you are getting in two man boat with this woman. You have to row through this a life time journey of ups and downs, the extremes you must presume to be horrific and ecstatic ,

Does she have an oar?

The best move I've ever made in my life was marrying down. I thought of it that way only a little, early on. I had a Ph.D.; she had an associates degree. So I guess that's 10 years of higher education vs. 2 years. That differential has made absolutely no difference over the 15 years we've been married. My wife is sweet, sexy, kind, thoughtful. She laughs easily and has a great sense of humor--which is to say, we laugh a lot. She never sulks. She's honest; she has integrity. She knows how to have fun. She's loyal: uninterested in straying. (My eyes work, but I haven't strayed, either.) She's a great mother, in part because she's been through all this before and has a 26 y.o. daughter. We've got an 11-year old son together.

As a young man, I lived with a fellow grad student--a woman several years older, very smart, beautiful, and sexy. We had intellectual disagreements that spilled over into other parts of our co-habiting life. She also strayed more than once. That was ultimately a disaster. But I sort of assumed, for the next 15 years or so, that I needed to be with somebody like that. Wrong! The moment the right woman came along, I knew it very quickly. I felt a quality that I can only call harmony. It showed up very quickly. My wife gets me. She's very smart, too, regardless of "lack of education." She has the ability to distill things down to one sentence that cuts through ALL the bullsh-t. Again and again I'm blown away by that ability. It's part of what I love about her.

When the seasons change, she does all the redecorating stuff--putting up the Halloween stuff, the Christmas lights.

I'm ambitious and I guess you'd say I'm accomplished. She has no real ambition. Again: very early on, I worried about that. Then we talked about it and she said, "I just enjoy helping people, wherever I am." And I got it. I let go of my preconceptions and just decided to trust what I was feeling, which was love, pure and simple. And we're still doing great, 15 years down the line.

Human Torch wrote:

I think you are going about this all wrong. You should be looking for someone who is just as shallow as you are....

My trophy wife is dumb as a post, but she'll do anything I want to maintain her now luxurious lifestyle. (Beats hanging from a pole wearing only a thong in front of filthy drunks in a bar.)

OP is on LRC. Therefore OP has ZERO women in his life (not counting his mom). Zero does not equal two.

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Therefore 0/10

She is cheating on you.

I read this twice and it is terrifying "American Psycho" type stuff.

There is a Promise Keepers meeting going on somewhere you are late for.

"Lifetime" is one word.

RejectRunner wrote:

She had.......a very tight pusy

HS kids don't need to be responding in this thread.

Yes. Because I couldn't imagine life without her.

10 years later and I have become a better, more well rounded human being, thanks to her. We fill gaps.

don't marry or have kids. you sound like a self absorbed prick, please don't breed.

Expert on Genetics wrote:

Lovers wrote:

Marriage is not about "success" or finding someone that challenges you. That is what coworkers and friends are for. Marriage is about finding someone who you love and loves you. Marriage is that simple.

Marriage is about finding someone who will produce successful children, though. Sorry to burst your bubble.

This might seem foreign to you, but it’s actually perfectly natural and common. For example, if you were 5’6”, would you really want to marry a girl under 5’00 instead of a 5’2”-5’5” girl with equal qualifications? No. You wouldn’t. That’s because you’re wired to seek out a girl who will help your seed progress to the mean.

No, that’s called procreation or reproduction. Marriage is not about reproducing at all. Marriage is about spending the rest of your life with someone you thoroughly enjoy being around. The marriages that last are the ones where you are best friends. Marriages that are based on success or joining forces always end in divorce.

Do people reproduce while married? Yes. That doesn’t mean that’s what marriage is for.

Why can't it be both? Love between two people AND about the rearing and raising of children.

From a long term perspective (and for the species) the rearing and raising of children is more important. From a short term perspective, enjoying your spouse and raising your kids can both be fulfilling.