Share your stories about anxiety/depression and competing in college

First, college is not an easy time of life. I'm always amazed at the people that wax poetic about the salad days of college with no worries, no real responsibilities, etc.. That was NOT my experience at all.

I was struggling to find my place adjusting from the ease of HS to the more rigorous college course work. Then there was money, which I had none, then the pressure of being a college athlete. So I GUESS if you have parents paying for everything (The Dad Scholarship), and you aren't an athlete and you're smart enough and take easy enough classes; college could be a cake walk. I was just feeling very poor, very dumb and very slow.

The changes in your social life, social standing, identity and performance as an athlete.. they all change as soon as you get to college. It's a wonder there isn't MORE cases of depression.

My hope would be that anyone going through all that can get through that with some counseling and without the psychotropic meds, that being said it's completely understandable if it comes to that.

My freshman year I was depressed after my father died unexpectedly a couple of weeks before I started college and I barely stayed academically eligible and didn't run at all. I had processed most of my grief by the end of the academic year and started running again in the Summer. I ran track the next 3 years with modest success and graduated with a 3.2 GPA after starting with a Freshman 2.0 GPA.

Yes, college is not the easiest test for a student. As for me, I study well and always try to pass all exams perfectly. But I worry a lot and sometimes feel very stressed at such moments. I have to admit that sometimes I allow myself a little bestpot on weekends. Otherwise, I would have gone mad with the experience.

Hello, I have been suffering from social anxiety ever since I was in high school so I started to drink early on and abuse prescription medications. This was a vicious cycle that I was living in and I almost gave up trying to find a solution to my mental health. I started to do some research about CBD medicine and I came across https://www.gyo.green/blueberry-cannabis-strains.html. It was an anxiety battle for me trying to finally make the decision to call because I was on the verge of giving up all hope. I write this to give anyone some hope because I was once in the deep caverns of desperation. I know for me that equal parts THC and CBD is what I need and I prefer to use tinctures because it lasts longer and it works instantly for me. Just sharing, have a nice day.

I was depressed during my second year of college. Running didn’t matter, grades didn’t matter, and I just wanted to leave.

I did leave school for a year but then transferred to another school where I finished up my degree.

The depression got better over time but there are still times in my life that I deal with it.

Some deal with it through drugs, alcohol, sex, etc... Those things only make it worse. The thing that has helped me is accepting who I am. I might not be the smartest, fastest, or best looking. However, everyday I can be positive and by kind, generous, and loving.

I was severely depressed in college. I ended up having to quit my senior year and took a full year off running. Started running again after that and enjoy it more now.

I still suffer from anxiety and thank you for sharing the CBD link with me. It has helped me a lot. Recently i was reading about CBD on and learned a lot.

I hope it works for my anxiety as it has worked for you.

In high school I never really dealt with my problems. I had a girlfriend, was running well, and had a great team atmosphere. To this day those are some of my best friends. My freshman year I struggled with training since I was forced to redshirt at a big D1 program. Didn’t race during cross and had a few solid indoor races before I got hurt. Coach told me he wasn’t gonna race me in cross the following year unless someone got hurt so I decided to transfer. Around this time I broke up with my gf, got really depressed and found myself digging up past traumas and repressed memories. Since then (3years ago) its been a struggle. I have raced well and gotten significantly faster, but it feels like it doesn’t matter, I’ve been all conference, all region, whatever. Doesn’t make me feel better aside from the second I step onto the podium. Once I get home I put my awards away and then it’s like it never even happened. I feel like I’m working towards nothing and that I’ve dug a hole that I can’t get out of. School sucks, I hate my program, relationships suck, and my team atmosphere sucks. I don’t know what to do or where to go. Just haven’t felt generally happy in a long time.

A link to buy the book:

https://www.amazon.com/What-Made-Maddy-Run-All-American/dp/0316356549

I still will get the book but some reviews say it focused too much on Kate Fagan and not Maddy. Fagan wrote the book and was a D1 athlete herself.

especially for HS studs who blew through the competition and then college is a whole new level of struggle.

I totally empathize! I knew guys in HS who were 2:02/4:30/9:55/16:20 guys who tried to run XC in college and gave up; not because of speed but b/c of time commitment and other things that got in the way.

LetsRun is full of trolls but you and others in this thread have kicked butt. Thanks for the solid post and takes.

It's not often, but there is some good stuff on this cesspool of a board.

And thoughts and prayers are with those dealing with this.

I had no issues with either anxiety or depression!

I was ready to get on with my life and backed off the training. No more early morning runs (unless I wanted to) so I just ran in the afternoons after work. No interest in competing in age groups or trying to set PR's. Those days are behind me! I don't run in road races, I have no ambition or desire to run a marathon, and I don't want to run in all-comer summer track meets. Nowadays I just run for ME!

My story is a little different. I ran a 3:48 1500m in high school and did well enough in school to think that the world was just fine. I wanted to run at Princeton, was accepted, but found out that my rich Dad would have to contribute. At this point, I was forced to confront the problems with my parents and their separation and bitter 4-5 year contested divorce. Time to find someplace that would pay me.

I ended up going to a less academic school that is still rigorous but that would pay me to go. It was largely for running, but I rationalized that they also gave me an academic scholarship. I wasn't running to stay in school, right ? Wrong. When I hit campus, I realized that I didn't want to run to stay in school and that my teammates were great people but not into academics at all. It was a real mismatch.

My first love was to hang around the math department and my second was to make sure I had enough to eat and live on. Mom had checked into rehab by then and Dad had a 20 year old girlfriend who needed a lot of Rolexes and Mercedes. The whole running thing had become a useless distraction given all the issues in my life. I checked into Mental Health once or twice a week the whole first semester. Aside from grades, I was barely hanging on.

After a semester my 64 year old coach talked to me. He said, look you can be as good as you want to be, but you need to get healthy. We worked out 50 miles per week maximum. He literally gave me permission to work out my life, even if it meant going home to the local community college, although he strongly suggested that in his opinion I should stay far away from home even it meant living under a bridge! He got to know my parents by then.

He knew he was a good guy when I went there. After all, how many track coaches were chain smokers? He got this far somehow!

That next summer, he got me a well-paid job at a worm farm, of all places, that gave me enough money to live on for the year. After the worm farm, I stepped up the programming classes and I made sure I could work in an office ( I became a programmer/ statistician for the EPA my sophomore year and the money problems disappeared).

It was the beginning of the end of a bad time. I always wondered how he could have done this for me when he had some pressure to win. Of course, he was 64 and pressure to win was different at that time.

By the way, cross country sucked at 30-50 mpw and I ran maybe 3 meets a season. Never did 2 a day workouts. It took me forever-say 7-10 days-to recover from a hard 10k. I always ran in my 800m-1500m spikes and should have figured that better shoes would have helped with the pounding. I didn't. My senior year, the conference made a mistake and put the conference meet on a cart path on a golf course. It was a like a track and I got fourth in the whole conference. It was a fluke! I was so sore after a week I still couldn't run, but I felt like a distance runner for one short moment!

The coach, the math department , and the EPA saved me. In reality four or five caring people at the school that saved me. Never underestimate the kindness in others. I hope that coaches still act like real teachers and mentors.

Thanks for sharing your story. Honestly it’s yours and so many other like it on this thread that really influence me to want to coach after graduation. If I can help just one kid the way some of your coaches have helped you then I will be over the moon. I think in the American system this is really overlooked. To a lot of coaches, especially one my experience with huge recruiting classes at a big name university with no real coach/athlete contact, performance is all that matters. It feels rare to find a coach that would drop over dead to ensure that you could get the help you need. I know many schools have student athlete specific counseling, but there are quite a few that still do not. I would really like to see that change.

I was never a social person, I hated being in the spotlight. So competing was never good for me, for my comfort. I stopped my running career because of that. I considered myself a good runner but when I was competing, my legs were shaking. I was never able to take a top spot because of that. I have this fear even now, 10 years after finishing college. It's not happening often but before getting in front of a group of people, I take Etizolam - the medication that saved me a lot of times from embarrassing myself. I supply myself from https://worldpharm365.com/product/etizolam-etilaam-etizest-2mg-buy-with-bitcoin/

Talk to people you trust about how you feel. Running gives a sense of control and security and happiness but when you can’t run anymore, you’re in trouble.

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