Page 64 - Dathan email :(
Thanks for setting that stuff up Alberto. It has been a very difficult seven months. I never thought that it would be this trying after finally getting to where I always wanted to be last fall. I didn't think I would never get hurt again but I sure felt like I had already paid my dues with having gone through all this before, but this has been a true test and I have finally broke. We did everything we could and that is what is particularly difficult because it is not like I just sat on my ass and have up. I have tried to put on a good front and not bring other people down this whole time but I am afraid I am not that good at faking it. I didn't tell anyone how bad I have felt, even Kalin or you because I didn't want you to worry and become consumed with it because that is what has happened to me and it is unhealthy and I know you don't need the stress either.
Mostly I just did not want to have a sob story because like you say I have so many things to be thankful for. You know more than anyone how hard it is when you will do anything you can but your body just does not let you. I know I need to crawl out of this whole I just did think the rug would be pulled out so many times. Watching everyone get so much better is hard, not because I wish that against them but because I can't do anything to about myself. I just need a day to regroup and try to pick myself back up again. It is hard to think there is a reason for this, and I know God does not care if I run well or not, but trying to understand why is still so hard. Sorry for the long rambling email but Kalin said I need to just let her know how I'm feeling so that I don't hide it and I think it is good for you to know too why I feel so bad now. On to the MRI and I will dust myself off again. Thanks so much for putting up with all this my bad attitude! Dathan