40 years...dang, dawg.
40 years...dang, dawg.
Karl Hungus wrote:
I'm going to be stupid and assume you're not trolling. Love is a fickle thing, and as you get older, it changes. That sense of mortal longing ("soulmates") that I felt in my 20's with someone has been replaced with someone who's older and wiser that I would have never met in my 20's because I was a jerk.
Marriage when you're younger is odd. I've seen people get married because they can't figure out how to break up. And the race to get married leads to tunnel vision. The bigger the wedding, the bigger the divorce.
Find someone interesting even if there's no initial chemistry. Date smarter women than you. Read as much as you run and grow your mind. Then one day when you don't expect it that you'll find someone lovely in your life that you want to grow old with.
Wonderful post
.
M3D3 wrote:
Myfirstsappypost wrote:It didn't work out with "the one", so no marriage for me. I've been head over heels a couple of times. Once I knew wouldn't work, but the first was the love of a lifetime. We met freshman year of college. She turned me on physically and mentally -- and we were extremely compatible in terms of activities, interests, music, humor. We dated several months (best time of my college experience), maintained a friendship until graduation. By the time she was certain I was the one, too, I wasn't ready. I was dating someone else and was deep into the bottle. I couldn't trust myself at that moment, and frankly was a bit afraid I'd mess up her life or not provide in a way that I knew she expected, which is probably accurate. My head wasn't clear, or maybe it was just clear enough to make a prudent decision for us both at that time. I got completely sober a couple of years later and am going on 20. I like kids and that will probably never happen, but I had several awesome months with a wonderful woman and that's better to me than muddling through some relationship in which I'm not emotionally invested (I've had a few of those). After you've had skyrockets it's hard to settle for emergency candles. Anyway, the "one" is a wonderful mother living a good life. I'm happy for her. It worked out like it needed to in order to be best for her, which wasn't easy on either of us in the initial short-term. But life gave me a gift of meeting her and knowing her well, and I'll always be thankful. Sappy - yes. Don't care. Truth.
I didn't find your post sappy.
I met "the one" when we were seniors in college. We spent about 3 months together and it was amazing. Then I went east to grad school and she stayed west. We drifted apart; both got married. Over the next 40 years I thought about her often but never made any attempt to find her. It was the same for her.
After 3 marriages, I decided to look for her. It wasn't hard to find her. She was in an abusive marriage and within a year shed her second husband and came east to live with me.
We've been together 13 years now. We're both happier than we ever have been.
Bottom line is that sometimes "the one" from the past really was the one, but it can take a long time to realize that.
So if this is sappy, I too don't care.
Great story and perspective! Glad it worked out for you both! Many more! Thanks for sharing.
You liked him. So, didn't you bang him? Inquiring minds need to know...
Omnipotent One wrote:
Who on here didn't marry the person they thought was "the one"? Someone who was easy to get along with, very tolerable but just not the person that really made you excited or romantically excited about? I'm getting to the age where friends are getting married, and somewhat worried that girl may have passed. That or I may just not meet another girl that makes me feel romantically enthused about. Considering this board is pretty anonymous, I'd love some honest answers or insight.
You will be navie in your premature thinking but will come to realization later in life after seeking Buddha's way of life.
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