Fiance wants to bring parents on honeymoon...

rojo wrote:Umm, i wouldn't say posting on a messageboard for millions to read is venting privately.

there are millions of us in this musty dungeon? huh.

Why would you marry this person? She sounds terrible.

Hold up wrote:

3.) They might be incestuous swingers. (Pics?)

The Aristocrats!

rojo wrote:

wejo wrote:

Don't privately vent about something major.

Umm, i wouldn't say posting on a messageboard for millions to read is venting privately.

TWIN FIGHT !!!

TWIN FIGHT !!!

mellow seeds wrote:

Why would you marry this person? She sounds terrible.

He wouldn't. Nobody would. It's a troll. It will never make sense and the added details will just be more and more idiotic.

postwedshut wrote:

Also the strangest insecurity she gets is if people assume we are going to have sex she refuses. Like a last night together or on a vacation. So I guess wedding night and honeymoon falls into that category of people will know I am having sex and makes me feel guilty logic.

My wife is the same way. She was pissed when I wanted to have sex on our wedding night since we had an early flight the next day and she wanted to sleep. She shut down sex during the honeymoon since "we can have sex anytime...I want to shop, hike, do tourist stuff...". Needless to say things haven't changed.

postwedshut wrote:

She wants to bring them on our honeymoon, rent a house house on the beach together beach, and here is the kicker she said "do not even mention or bring sex up with me". Is this some kind of record for shut off?

Please tell me this is a joke.

...not the parent's thing, but the sex part

postwedshut wrote: How do I get her over this "if people know, I can't have sex" insecurity?

Let me guess. She's Catholic, right? If so, she will never get over the "insecurity". Deprogramming a brainwashed Catholic is nearly impossible.

wejo wrote:

postwedshut wrote:

She wants to bring them on our honeymoon, rent a house house on the beach together beach, and here is the kicker she said "do not even mention or bring sex up with me". Is this some kind of record for shut off?

This may be the record for shut off!

In all seriousness, the bigger issue is you need to be able to discuss this with her and say what you want. If you don't want her parents on the honeymoon discuss it. If sex is important on the honeymoon,discuss it.

Don't privately vent about something major.

I may get banned for this, but you have ZERO reasons to be giving any advice.

Catholic school all the way till high school. But not practicing. The comment about the wife saying we can have sex at home feels like it could come from my girl's mouth. That one struck me good.

postwedshut wrote: Catholic school all the way till high school. But not practicing.

Not practicing, but it's probably too late. The only hope for those kinds of women rests on the possibility they were overtly rebellious the entire time they endured forced Catholicism. Seems as though your gal might have picked up the worst traits of the culture.

postwedshut wrote:

I am not a brojo, I am not trolling. This is a real situation.I had never in my life heard of parent's on a honeymoon till now. I do not hound her for sex i find it undignified to beg. I m in good shape, good looking, have a decent job, I treat her very well, and pay all the bills. Then she throws this crap at me. How do I get here over this "if people know I can't have sex" insecurity? I honeslty think that is the big one and the parents are her excuse to play into it.

You may think this is troll in advice but it is not.

You are dealing with an inhibited woman. Her inhibitions are at least in part with her parents and their opinion of her - at least what she perceives would be their opinion.

First, either both set of parents or neither. You may need get the high ground in the marriage but never cede it to a threat.

Second, you need to swing the pendulum of her perceptions. She has a concept of what is the norm and right and wrong that does not match yours nor the median of society. There are many ways to do this including years of counseling. You do not have that kind of time. So you need to schedule a date for the two of you before the wedding, let her know this is important to you and the relationship. If she can't make time for it, break it off.

Your date should be focused on romance then you should attempt to introduce her to porn and eroticism as much as you can. If she is game, then there is a long-term chance for you. If not, break it off.

Most likely she will not be game and you will not break it off. However when you go back to asking for normal generic occasional sex then she will feel you are compromising.

Again, you could get counseling, or talk it through, or issue an ultimatum saying sex on the honeymoon or no marriage but what would that do for you? She will just agree now and renege on the honeymoon, by then it is too late.

Get to know the soul of for potential life mate. If her should is not as dark as yours, then get out now.

"Again, you could get counseling, or talk it through, or issue an ultimatum saying sex on the honeymoon or no marriage but what would that do for you? She will just agree now and renege on the honeymoon, by then it is too late."

This a thousand times over

postwedshut wrote:

I am not a brojo, I am not trolling. This is a real situation.I had never in my life heard of parent's on a honeymoon till now. I do not hound her for sex i find it undignified to beg. I m in good shape, good looking, have a decent job, I treat her very well, and pay all the bills. Then she throws this crap at me. How do I get here over this "if people know I can't have sex" insecurity? I honeslty think that is the big one and the parents are her excuse to play into it.

Serious question: what are you getting out of this relationship?

Maybe I'm reading your post wrong, but when you say "...pay all the bills" it leads me to believe that she isn't working, or at least you are overwhelmingly the bread winner.

So you already have an unbalanced relationship - you have all the responsibilities, yet she holds the majority of power.

At least for me, marriage is about balance. It's about give and take.

Right now, it seems you are all give, and she is all take.

I guaran-effing-tee that it will only get worse later on.

It's time for you to have a serious discussion with the Mrs.-to-be about what you want out of the relationship.

And it's time for you to put an end to the ridiculous notion that you are going on a honeymoon with her parents.

Women can't live with them ... wrote:

"Again, you could get counseling, or talk it through, or issue an ultimatum saying sex on the honeymoon or no marriage but what would that do for you? She will just agree now and renege on the honeymoon, by then it is too late."

This a thousand times over

For some reason your fiancé has broken the girl sis code: she has brought the cutoff threat before marriage. This could have repercussions in society that are far reaching and could shut down marriage for a lot of ugly fat chicks in the world. Get a woman to talk to your fiancé about the girl sis code and tell her to get back in line: entice through marriage, big honeymoon peak, slow drizzle, downpours on demand for fertility, irritated and occasional, then the cutoff. That is the time-honored tradition.

no parents on honeymoon just weird

Guilt is a Virtue wrote:

postwedshut wrote: Catholic school all the way till high school. But not practicing.

Not practicing, but it's probably too late. The only hope for those kinds of women rests on the possibility they were overtly rebellious the entire time they endured forced Catholicism. Seems as though your gal might have picked up the worst traits of the culture.

You have no idea what you are talking about. I married a Catholic woman and she is great. So are most of the Catholic women I know. They like to have sex and they like to have it a lot. Kids all over the place, no PNSO in sight. I am honestly not sure where you get the idea that Catholic girls don't like to have sex, ESPECIALLY after marriage. That is their sweet spot.

Anyway, just arguing the other side here. Not trying to be a dick about it.

OP, this sounds like a total fvcking disaster. You need to really put a hold on this thing and get your priorities straight. I would not marry this woman under these circumstances.

of course everyone rushes to judgment about the fiancé and takes the guy's side. only 1 side of the story here. anyone care to guess that the OP is a real winner too? probably not overly skilled or endowed.

make love on your honeymoon, don't demand sex