At what age do women start appreciating guys for more than whether they are "fun" or not?

TAA wrote:

busting my arse wrote:

I have plenty of success on the short game. That's not the problem. The problem is finding a girl who isn't shortsighted who appreciates someone with long term goals.

Yah because finding a man she enjoys being around is SOOO shortsighted. It's such a shock that you can't keep a woman. You're obviously not going to listen. I'm out

I've already explained why liking a guy purely for entertainment is unwise, even though I think it should be common sense. Clearly you're an incredible dunce.

If you need to come to a message board and bitch then you've already lost the game. Quit blaming the girl or your career for your problems. She would have dumped you regardless of whether you work a lot. Go find a girl who enjoys you for what you are and what you like to do. Better yet, if she doesn't enjoy your choices don't feel the need to justify them. She'll respect you more. Women want guys that know what they want and don't apologize for it. They may act like they want to be catered to but really they just want a guy that is comfortable with himself.

Find a girl in the age range where you can do her, her mom, and her daughter.

That would be a rare triple crown.

agip wrote:

I'm an old so this game is decades behind me, but....

in a long term relationship, women want to be #1 in a man's attentions. They want him to be completely carried away by her in all things.

They certainly don't want to be #2 to a job.

If they sense the guy cares more about his career than her, she will be out of there...unless she is out golddigging. But that is a different issue.

So maybe what you are missing here is that yeah, they get bored of you after a few months not because you aren't 'fun' enough...but because you clearly aren't putting them #1 in your life.

I get that, agip. However, I'm 26. I'm still in the phase where I'm building my career. I'm thinking 5-10 years down the road. I don't plan on putting work above everything else the rest of my life. I've just been given a huge opportunity in the last few months and I'm jumping at it. I've been given a chance. It's a huge opportunity to prove myself, make connections, and move myself permanently into a higher tier. I'm making almost three times as much as I was two years ago and have a lot of responsibility. So far I have pulled my weight and then some. Meanwhile, one of my coworkers in a similar position has faltered due to not really caring, leaving early, etc, and he is about to be fired. Please tell me you understand?

My issue is that even when I explain the above to girls, they still think I should be spending hours every single day with them just doing such trivial things as listening to them gab for literally hours. These girls also tend to work at coffee shops or in retail, which isn't surprising to me. While there are driven women out there, they are by no means the norm.

busting my arse wrote:

I've already explained why liking a guy purely for entertainment is unwise, even though I think it should be common sense. Clearly you're an incredible dunce.

You're too black and white in your thinking:

"If people aren't working 70 hours a week, they must be leaving early and drinking or watching TV."

"A guy can either be entertaining or hardworking, not both."

"Working 40 hours weeks is bad but spending two weeks away from the office is okay."

Attraction is complex. Sometimes we don't even know why we're attracted to someone. Some women will find a workaholic attractive, but most won't. If you're financially successful but emotionally and socially stunted, why would a woman want to be with you?

Being the desirable man isn't about checking boxes on your "date-able resume", sonny.

well fine - so right now you aren't long term relationship material. Which is fine. When things calm down in a few years you will be in a great place. But you are making a choice here - you created the game here, not the women. Don't blame them for your narrow focus right now.

There are also women out there frustrated because they work hard, plan for the future, and are considerate and caring, but men continually pass them over for prettier girls with less to offer. See where you fit in in this analogy? Paradigm shift!

another incredible dunce wrote:

busting my arse wrote:

I've already explained why liking a guy purely for entertainment is unwise, even though I think it should be common sense. Clearly you're an incredible dunce.

You're too black and white in your thinking:

"If people aren't working 70 hours a week, they must be leaving early and drinking or watching TV."

"A guy can either be entertaining or hardworking, not both."

"Working 40 hours weeks is bad but spending two weeks away from the office is okay."

Attraction is complex. Sometimes we don't even know why we're attracted to someone. Some women will find a workaholic attractive, but most won't. If you're financially successful but emotionally and socially stunted, why would a woman want to be with you?

Make a lot of assumptions based on very little information. Please go back and read through the thread before commenting further.

At least you are mentally stable enough to have a girlfriend. I am just not capable due to my fvcked up head. Running is just barely sustaining my shack of a psyche.

busting my arse wrote:

another incredible dunce wrote:

If you're financially successful but emotionally and socially stunted, why would a woman want to be with you?

Make a lot of assumptions based on very little information.

No, he doesn't. It's clear that you are emotionally and socially stunted. So please answer his question.

Women don't like dudes who are frustrated and/or bitter. Sorry, but you kinda sound like you are both. If you're a workaholic, own it, be proud and comfortable with who you are, and the right girls will come.

They want to spend time with the person they're with and enjoy that time. You don't spend time with them on a regular basis and bore them, you say. So, you answered your own question.

Haha. The "huge opportunity." I think I've heard this story before. It involves a carrot that is juuust out of reach and you are completely emotionally invested.

Just put that money away while you sacrifice everything else. That's the only permanent higher tier there ever will be. Ever.

busting my arse wrote:My issue is that even when I explain the above to girls, they still think I should be spending hours every single day with them just doing such trivial things as listening to them gab for literally hours. These girls also tend to work at coffee shops or in retail, which isn't surprising to me. While there are driven women out there, they are by no means the norm.[/quote]

These other posters have your number and you are too fascinated with yourself to see it.

#1 I don't know a girl that doesn't want someone that listens. You don't do that.

#2 Those "driven women" you imagine exist and guess what? They still want to come home for a few hours and have someone listen to them.

You got no long game. None. Zero. It will never work out for you and your hard working bros until you learn that simple fact.

I know somebody that turned down a tall, handsome resident that will be making about 350,000 in two years for a guy with a HS degree that makes 30,000 doing something a monkey could do.

Whatevs.

Another college-educated, cute, interesting woman is dating an androgynous hair dresser with a HS degree.

Meh.

These other posters have your number and you are too fascinated with yourself to see it.

#1 I don't know a girl that doesn't want someone that listens. You don't do that.

#2 Those "driven women" you imagine exist and guess what? They still want to come home for a few hours and have someone listen to them.

You got no long game. None. Zero. It will never work out for you and your hard working bros until you learn that simple fact.[/quote]

You don't know me. Being a great listener is precisely why so many people like me. I've been told that numerous times. If you understood anything that's been written you wouldn't make such ignorant proclamations.

I'll bet some people got the mistaken impression that you're not a good listener from your comment:

"My issue is that even when I explain the above to girls, they still think I should be spending hours every single day with them just doing such trivial things as listening to them gab for literally hours."

Guy O'Leighken wrote:

I'll bet some people got the mistaken impression that you're not a good listener from your comment:

"My issue is that even when I explain the above to girls, they still think I should be spending hours every single day with them just doing such trivial things as listening to them gab for literally hours."

So according to you and others here, the only way to be a good listener and/or in a relationship is to sit quietly for 2+ hours every single night as your s/o talks non-stop about nothing significant 99% of the time. You've disqualified yourself from being taken seriously and have proven yourself to be a loser. No successful or interesting person would waste so much time doing something so meaningless, and that goes for guys and girls. Apparently you've never been with anyone who isn't an airhead.

busting my arse wrote:

You don't know me. Being a great listener is precisely why so many people like me. I've been told that numerous times. If you understood anything that's been written you wouldn't make such ignorant proclamations.

Ha-ha. Oh, I think I do know you better than you know yourself. So do the other replies on this thread.

That carrot is juuuust out of reach and the potential as described by your employer seems like it will solve so many things. Meanwhile you can't be bothered to listen to a woman.

Ample evidence in this thread of your awesome listening skills. Good luck chasing the carrot at the end of the stick. Don't stop being you, winner.